This story is called.
“Wife had a boyfriend while being married to me”.
Wife had a boyfriend while being married to me.
It was her ex living abroad, but he visited her a few times.
Both an emotional affair, and a Physical affair.
It lasted for around 7 months.
I gathered all the evidence I needed, confronted her, and moved out, left her with our two kids, 1 and 3.
I moved out, because it was not our flat.
It was her dad's flat, he was letting us use it, until we finish building our house.
That was 3 months ago.
Details in my previous posts.
Update.
Our attorneys finally came into an agreement, and the divorce will happen shortly.
She is taking the unfinished house, and the mortgage is exclusively hers now.
The house is for the kids, I don't want anybody to tell me in the future, that I caused the selling of the house as part of my revenge for her infidelity.
Plus, I don't want to live in it, in her small home town, an hour away from the capital city where I am now.
However, I am taking what I put in it, and that amount is not bad at all.
Child support amount is not bad either.
Plus, we agreed that she will be dropping the kids at my place in the capital city every other weekend.
I'll just have to drive them back.
Now, I see my kids almost every weekend, but it is not enough for me.
It causes me so much pain, I can't handle it sometimes.
I just can't allow for 1- and 3-year-old boys, to live without a father, because of a woman, who can't behave.
I just wish, I could keep them, but that's not possible, because of the law in Poland.
I will have to start driving there in the middle of the week, or something to survive.
As for her, she keeps messaging me, that she loves me, wishes she could turn back time, that she is suffering because of her deeds every day.
She softened to a point, when she even told me, that she no longer thinks checking her phone would be treating her like garbage, she allowed for it, told me I could do it all the time.
She told me we could move out of the small town to the capital city.
She agreed to tell me everything about the affair, every detail of it, if I'll take her back.
She came to my parents, and apologized.
Something must have changed, somebody must have told her something.
She's willing to do everything now, actually showing some remorse.
Last time she messaged me this: "Thank you for not selling the house, and ending it with me amicably.
Agreeing to your terms, also means accepting the divorce.
I will have to agree in court, but let me just tell you, that it will not be true.
I don't want this divorce, and love you very much.
I know you don't believe it, and I understand it, but I want you to know, that I hope I will have a chance to prove my love to you one day.
I love you, and I'm sorry for everything.
There are no words to express, how I regret all this".
Things like that sway me, and don't help with the healing process.
I would be a liar, if I told you her words don't affect me.
Vision of my boys growing up in the capital city, instead of the small town is tempting.
I really believe she has a hard time alone with two small boys, BUT, she did what she did.
She cheated, and ruined it all.
I thought it was going to be better with time, but the wound heals very slowly.
You gave me a ton of reassurance, that I'm doing the right thing, and I know I am, I keep re-reading your comments under my previous posts, and that helps a lot.
I will stay the course; I will end this.
I will update one day, maybe when I will be finally happy.
This story is called.
"My wife is having an emotional affair, I am divorcing her."
I, 54 male, have been with the same woman, she is 52, for 30 years, and we just celebrated our 22nd anniversary.
It took me 8 years to propose, because of her cheating, and leaving me for a close friend, one year into dating.
I was young, and she was my first love, so I forgave her then.
Now, I just found out, she’s been having an emotional affair with someone living in another town, who visits her occasionally for the past two years.
Early on, I saw she wasn’t where she said she was going to be, using her phone location tracking, when we were going to meet up later.
She admitted to taking a walk with an old guy friend in the park.
Soon after that, her location was “unknown” sometimes, when she went out, she claims it was a glitch.
We had a big fight about her hiding where she was going, and it started working again.
Several months ago, I saw an odd text pop up on her phone from this friend.
I’ve seen, that he had liked, and commented on every Instagram post she ever made.
I asked to see what he texted her, and she swiped the message, and quickly hit the trash button, to delete all history.
I’m no dummy, so I knew she did that on purpose, but, I actually am a dummy, because her playing dumb, was enough to just have a fight over her having secret friends, and how it was unacceptable to me, and could end our relationship.
After a long argument, she finally tearfully agreed to not keep her friends, and outings secret.
I believed her.
On our wedding anniversary last week, I saw another text from this guy, and she went into the bathroom, and said she deleted it, because she didn’t want me to be upset, but nothing was going on.
I was furious, and sulked for days, but I couldn’t prove she was lying.
Days later, I convinced her to hand me her phone to prove he wasn’t texting her still, and I went straight to her Instagram messages.
I ran out of the house, and spent an hour, photographing her two-year history of lovey dovey messages, with details about some of their visits, and long romantic phone calls.
Every time she is caught, she reveals only what I already know, but in the best possible way.
She says, during their meetings, they only hold hands, and she once kissed him on the cheek.
There are messages about certain elements of their outdoor get togethers, being “hot”.
I don’t have any evidence she did anything more than she claims, and I kind of believe she won’t go all the way.
But, she’s lied to my face so many times, I just can’t believe anything she says now.
She wants to do anything to make it up to me, wow, lucky me.
She supposedly cut it off with him finally.
We have two teenagers, and a lifetime together.
I am devastated, and have been crying for days.
I was so happy about our long-standing marriage, beautiful family, and loving future together.
I’m having to decide to abandon 60% of my life, and start fresh, or risk her cheating me out of more years of a potentially happy future without her.
I don’t know if I can ever trust her again, or have any self-respect, if I reconcile.
I’m such a chump, why am I even conflicted?
Update: I recently bought her a new iPhone, and she hadn’t returned her previous one.
I put that in airplane mode, so it wouldn’t delete any saved messages, and got access to all the messages from when we replaced it.
Oh boy.
It is the sappiest lovey dovey stuff I have ever read.
She’s always been a real sweetheart, and magic energy type, I’m Mr.
Science, and he seems like an actual nice guy, other than the fact, that he’s completely having an emotional affair with a married woman, and knowingly hiding it from me.
Which means, he’s a scumbag, really.
From what I can tell, she wasn’t lying about just a kiss on the cheek.
He is also married, and they are trying to be “respectful” of each other’s spouses.
This is almost worse than sex.
They are texting each other hundreds of times a day, professing their love for each other, yet somehow, they still love, and respect their spouses?
His spouse seems to know about this affair, and trust him not to be sexual.
I’m the only sucker I guess.
I informed her we’re getting a divorce as soon as possible.
I still love her, but I need to love myself, and set a good example for my kids.
I’m even more crushed now, but at least I know what to do.
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