- The amount of things that you need for a baby,
very minimal, I remember stressing
our baby does not have a blanket.
Now she has like 17 blankets.
Hey guys my name is [Shayla] welcome to my channel.
If this is your first time here
I make videos about pregnancy.
I make videos about motherhood.
Today I'm going to talk about my top five mom regrets
and I don't want to say regrets.
I feel like your first child you're just learning.
Your second child, you're going to do it differently.
And I'm going to refer to my second child
throughout this entire video, I'm not pregnant.
I'm talking about the things that I'm going to change
and the things that I'm going to do
the exact same, let's get started.
Point number one, is sleep.
Mum sleep and baby sleep.
Baby sleep, I did like a whole video on this.
We did the sleep training and we totally failed,
we hated it, not our jam
but we did learn a few really important things
like sleepy cues and wake windows.
I asked on Instagram, what are your mom regrets?
Some people are like
I wish I wouldn't have followed the wake windows
and others are like
I wish I would have followed the wake windows.
For me I didn't even know what they were.
She would just be sleeping, oh cool
and then she'd wake up, not neat
So now that I know that there's like
sleepy cues and wake windows,
baby number two will be like
oh she's showing sleepy cues.
I just know what they are now.
So if you have no idea what they are
look them up because they can be helpful
but if they're not helpful, let it go.
A lot of the information that I got
I was like, I can't, I can't too stressful.
I had to let it go.
Mom sleep, everyone's like
sleep when your baby sleeps.
Okay, then when am i going to the laundry
or feed myself or shower?
Or do dishes any pick up, do anything?
when am I going to do anything?
I hear you.
But also, you really do need to sleep in your baby sleeps
because some babies they're awake during all the day.
And then they're asleep during all the night opposite.
They're awake all day and they're asleep all night opposite.
They're awake all night and asleep all day.
I have somebody that's like, I don't need a lot of sleep.
I can just power through, which is true.
I'm I'm pretty good.
I'm not allowed to sleep until it compounds.
You're like not functioning and the normal human level.
You've got four moans already, just raging through you.
Then you add some sleep deprivation.
Then you add a husband that can't breastfeed the baby.
And it's just like a recipe for disaster.
So you really do need to sleep in your baby's sleep.
Nobody really expects anything out of you
for like the first four to six weeks.
So maybe pick like the one thing
choose the dishes and make sure that those dishes are done.
You look up like how to sleep better.
And it's like, don't do screen time before bed.
However, my daughter's nine months old
and the only time that I have to work at night
I get nice long sleep stretches.
Well, sorry, Google.
So this video is sponsored
by a computer glasses company called Felix gray.
I've used Felix grace for years.
And to be honest, when I first heard about them
I thought that it was total BS.
Okay. There's just blue light.
I know I am a hardcore believer of these things.
I've got a few different parts.
They've got prescription period.
They've got sunglasses
they've got the computer glasses that look
like this that you can wear during the day.
And then they have nighttime ones that look like this.
And these are a little bit more yellow
which is why they call them nighttime ones.
So that like, you don't have to wear these to work.
And I'm telling you, I know you might not me.
And that's fine.
Is there a Glare?
I almost thought about asking him
for like one set of lenses so I can make this video.
No eye strain, no headaches.
Anytime I get on my computer
or if we watch movies at night, honestly
I think those are so cute
that I just wear them all the time.
My sister and stuff used to be aren't those
your computer glasses as I'm like driving down the road.
Yeah. But they're cute.
So whatever I recommend them enough
these are rebelling and these are lovely.
So I nursed to sleep every single time, which I love
but it also limits the things that I can do.
I have to be here every couple
of hours so that I can nurse her back
to sleep for her nap or to go to bed or whatever.
So the second thing is the bottle.
I waited six weeks to introduce the bottle
six weeks of just breastfeeding.
And then she was like, I don't want that.
She won't take a bottle now.
And people are like
you need to leave the house for like six hours.
But like, I don't know.
It's COVID like, no, one's just hanging
out at my house for six hours.
Like go do something.
We're still working on the bottle thing.
She's drinking out of an open cup now.
So maybe I'll just put some breast milk in an open cup
but I would introduce a bottle of sooner.
Once you've got breastfeeding down
duck trying to bottle once a day and it's inconvenient.
The boob is so much easier
and that's why I didn't really do it.
But now it's really inconvenient
that she won't ever take a bottle.
There's something called a bottle box that you can buy
with like the popular brands.
So you can try out the different nipples.
The whole thing is processed
which leads me to the next thing stuff.
The amount of things that you need for a baby, very minimal.
I remember stressing our baby does not have a blanket.
Now she has like 17 blankets.
You just don't need that much stuff for them.
Especially like the first couple of weeks.
It's all about you maa
You got to get fixed.
You got to get healed.
They have a whole video on the prep
after baby high, that the prep, the recovery process
there's like layers of your pad of like numbing.
Go check out that video if you need to.
But for baby, I didn't ask
for clothes because people find the cutest clothes
and get her to the clothes all the time.
Plus COVID kids are just wearing onesie pajamas all day.
Every day, I have one nice outfit and like each age group.
So when we go to like target or Christmas or something
she wears this presentable outfit.
So I would ask for gift cards or just cash.
We bought a mama room.
She hated the bummers.
So we had to buy this swing, some babies like the bounce.
And so these are all over Facebook marketplace
because people get them for their baby registry
and then they are done with them.
And they only last a couple of months.
So if you can just get cash, I know that's kind of tacky
but like, it would just be so much better.
I wish I knew that there were non-toxic car seats.
There's like flame retardants and all sorts
of stuff that are on car seats.
I have a blog post about this with the five brands
in the U S i wish i had known
that so that I could have gotten her an infant car seat.
That was non-toxic.
So she's almost out of that.
Now we're going to get the convertible.
That's going to be non-toxic.
So if he didn't know now, you know, you also might go
down a rabbit hole of everything in your house.
That's toxic.
Everything is.
So if you already have anxiety
maybe just don't even look at it.
The best gift that you can get
for a new mom is a door dash gift card.
Someone sent it to us in the hospital.
We got a nice meal door dash
to the hospital for like the first week after she was born.
I got to pick whatever I want
because just a delivery system that can pick
up food from everywhere, which brings me to meals.
If you don't get any gift cards
you want to make sure that you have meals prep.
We immediately got on like a food service system
that sent us like seven pre-made meals.
There's too much sodium in them.
So I stopped doing that.
You can also make Crock-Pot meals, you
and your family could make these meals while you're pregnant
and put them in the freezer so that when you're ready
you just throw in the Crock-Pot and you've got a meal
because feeding yourself as the last thing on your mind.
But you have to because you're feeding someone else.
And then I would take more photos.
Like they do little things right now she's waving.
Or she used to like make little gremlin noises.
And I have those on videos.
And it just pull up, looking back
at them and ask your partner to take photos of you.
It's awkward.
And you really don't feel
that cute boobs are leaking and you haven't showered.
And I'm like, can you take a picture of me?
You look back at it.
And you're like, Oh
that was a memory I liked that also have a arsenal
of moms in your toolbox.
You want like modern moms.
Why wouldn't you take an epidural needle ?
If it is offered to the heavy mom?
No, you just need some laughing gas and some hypno babies.
The mom who breastfeeds until she's four
she'll tell you everything you are.
Aren't about breast milk, about how it's different
at night than it is during the day
how it can cure cradle, cap and clogged milk ducts.
You want the relaxed mode.
Best time to drink wine is while you're breastfeeding
it's not going to get to them while they're breastfeeding.
And then you've got a lot
of time until the next breastfeeding
for it to get out of your system.
And then the mom of multiples, either twins
or like multiple children, because on your first kid
you want to wrap them
in bubble wrap so that they can't get hurt ever.
And then they have to like go
out into the world and you're just like, Oh my God.
So you need that.
Mom. That's like, trust your baby
but then you want to find the mom.
I want to be like that.
Mom. That's the mom that you ask for advice from that one.
Those are all of my regrets.
And I hate saying regrets
because like I said, it's just learning lessons.
It's not necessarily something that I'm like dwelling over
but it's like, Oh yeah
I'll probably do that different next time.
But the things that I did that I'm so glad
that I did starting with the pregnancy one
I did Hypnobabies.
There's a course that tells you all about how about diapers
going to go and different options that you have.
Then there's these things that you listened to
to like teach yourself to relax during labor
you let your body relax.
You let it do its thing and you let that baby come on out.
I will do that again.
I will also do my workouts.
I did Expecting and Empowered.
Love them.
It's a physical therapist and a nurse.
And they tell you exactly what you need to
do workouts specific to each week of your pregnancy
and then postpartum pelvic floor exercises.
I think that's why I pushed for so short.
And I think that's how I recovered postpartum.
The haka.
The haka is a silicone breast pump that sucks chins
out into your boobs.
So what you're feeding on this side
it's catching all the letdown
on this side and it helps you with your supply.
I had an oversupply.
I filled an entire freezer with milk
and I've never used a breast pump
and my baby wouldn't take a bottle.
So then I donated all of that milk.
You want to set up your bathroom?
Remember how I told you?
There's like the pad and the numbing
and the witch Hazel voted that video.
Go to that blog by all of those things
make yourself a cute little basket in your bathroom
and have it ready as you're packing your hospital bag
get this thing ready for when you come home.
I just wear these for the rest of the video.
Glare was the only thing I was worried about.
I am so glad that I started breastfeeding.
The minute she was born
we did extended core clamping, delayed cord clamping.
Your boob releases
the smell that smells like amniotic fluid.
So your baby goes right to it.
She latched.
I will absolutely talk
to a lactation consultant in the hospital.
She told me everything that I could possibly need to know.
I didn't remember half of it.
The pediatrician was also a lactation consultant
and I showed her how she was latching right there.
And I first had her, one of the nurses look me
in the face and was like, if you want to breastfeed
do not quit for the first two weeks.
And that's what you need to hear
because it's so hard to talk to a lactation consultant
especially if it's painful, because it can be
there can be lip ties, tongue ties.
There's a lot.
I'm glad that we did tummy time.
She was always on the floor.
She was only at a swing.
If we were working out, otherwise she thought her back or
on her tummy, her on her side, didn't have any clothes on.
I'd keep her in her diaper.
So it wasn't restricting.
And she'd like is super alert
and she's nine and nine months.
And she's standing on her own.
She's very, very, very mobile.
I don't know that tummy time did that.
I think that's dependent on your child.
But lastly, we got a love every box subscription.
I'm actually an ambassador for Lovevery
but I would pay for it.
It's like 40 bucks every month.
And then every other month you get a box that comes
to your house with all of these toys that are perfect
for where they are developmentally.
Sometimes I get these boxes
and she can't figure out what to do with them.
And then a month she's doing all the things
that she's supposed to do.
It comes with this little booklet, Oh
this item is for, to teach them this.
And how did play
with your kids to help them developmentally?
It's incredible.
I love it.
I'm like super geeked about Lovevery
and we do cloth diapering and elimination communication
which potty training your infant.
And I know that sounds ridiculous
but this, this girl, every morning
when she wakes up from her sleep, she pees on the toilet.
It's insane.
Took a while to get there for awhile.
I was like, I'm not doing this.
This is too much, but it's pretty great.
And then cloth diapering
obviously just to like save the world and stuff.
Once you figure out how to do it, it's really easy.
So baby, number two done into
I have a video on both of those things.
That's it?
That's, that's all of it.
Those are all my regrets.
All my lessons learned all
of the things that I will do exactly the same.
The one piece of advice that I have for you
something is only a problem.
If it's not working for you, if it's working
but people are like, you don't want to do that.
Forget that that's like the sleep training stuff.
Do I nurse to sleep at the time?
Yeah. The kind of inconvenient do I care?
No. If it's not a problem for you, it's not problem.
I support you, mom.
I hope this was helpful.
Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next time.
(blowing kisses)
Bye.