- Hello, Uncle Nick.
How you doing?
- Aw.
We are gonna be making, because we're in Boston,
a lobster roll. - Urgh.
This lobster still alive.
It a bit scary. Look how big it is.
Put my face next to it.
See how big this,
don't touch, Uncle Roger scared.
Uncle Nick, you win Uncle title before
because you make amazing pho.
So today, let's see if you can keep your Uncle title
at end of this weejio.
- I can lose my Uncle title?
- Yeah!
- You didn't tell me that when you came.
- You have to show me your best lobster roll recipe.
Let's see how he do.
Uncle Roger growing up, I don't have money,
so I never eat lobster before.
- We have lots of lobsters in Boston
so it's much cheaper here.
This, when they're hard, these little pieces here,
this is a boy, okay?
- Ah! - This is a boy.
- So a lobster boy got two penis.
Uncle Roger really envy lobster now. They got two dick.
(Uncle Nick laughs)
They got one spare.
- Oh my God. - One dick don't work
that night, you got another one.
- Second lobster right here.
You look at those same little things,
these are lighter, more like feathers, this is a female.
- Oh, female got dick also.
- [Uncle Nick] When did anyone say this was a penis?
- Oh, Uncle Roger just assume.
- This last one here is a boy or a girl?
- He don't want you to touch his penis.
- (laughs) What? - You sexually assaulting
this lobster.
Uncle Nick the Harvey Weinstein of shellfish.
- What? (laughs) (crew laughs)
Is it a boy or girl?
(Uncle Roger groans)
Try to touch it. - No, it just the thing,
(groans) okay.
Uncle Roger guess it a girl, it a girl.
Correct? - It is a girl.
Yeah, you got it. - Ah.
Uncle Roger guess that because this lobster acting crazy.
That why I know it a girl.
- How have you not gotten in trouble
saying this kind of thing?
All right, to begin cooking, I'm gonna take off the bands.
You have to be careful
'cause if you put your finger in there,
he will take your finger off.
(Uncle Roger groans)
She. - She, yeah.
Uncle Nick use the right pronoun.
We have to ask them what pronoun they want.
Maybe this lobster is they/them. Don't just misgender them.
This 2022, Uncle Nick. Don't get canceled.
- I'm gonna show you what this would be like
if this was your finger,
or something even worse, potentially.
- Oh. - You ready?
Put that in there.
- Ooh. - Ooh! Wow.
- Ooh. - Ooh!
- This lobster like vegetable.
Uncle Roger losing respect for it.
Ooh!
- That's gone.
- Do you hear that- - Watch me try to pull it out.
I can't. - Urgh.
Niece and Nephew,
this gonna be my last weejio with 10 finger.
- All right, to begin, I always like to put a cloth under it
because I like to kill the lobster
before I go ahead and steam it.
It's the more humane thing to do. Okay?
- But lobster don't have central nervous system.
They don't feel pain.
- You kill them between the eyes.
You put the knife in and you crunch down.
Bash it down and crunch through.
(Uncle Roger sighs) Be careful.
- Lobster, Uncle Roger sorry I have to do this to you.
(lobster crunches) (Uncle Roger groans)
I feel bad. Uncle Roger going to hell.
He still moving. No!
(Uncle Roger sighs)
- What are you doing to it?
You have to be more confident when you hold the knife.
- The lobster got family.
- And you really wanna crunch right through
so that he's done, 'kay?
And now he's dead, okay? - Oh.
No, he's still moving.
- That's the nerves. That's the nerves, but he's dead.
- (sighs) Uncle Nick is killer.
Uncle Roger bit scared now. ("Psycho" violin music)
I filming with Jeffrey Dahmer Junior.
- At this point, it is finally time
to steam and cook the lobster, now that you've killed it.
Even though, I will say, you killed it a little bit slower
than I would have liked.
- Urgh.
- The good thing is he's not gonna feel anything anymore.
- [Uncle Roger] He in a better place now.
- He is a little bit
too big for it. - Your saucepan.
- I've been catching lobster since I was a little kid.
I have a kayak. I row out there with my brothers.
We pull all the traps up.
I brought Manny out one day,
my camera guy. - Ah.
Is this family bonding activity?
- Exactly.
- When you're younger, your dad bring you to kill lobster.
That like family activity.
Let's drive a knife through animal head.
Ah, that why people in Boston all fucked up like this?
- You make it sound a lot worse than it is.
- When I growing up, what I do with my dad,
we just go cycling.
Uncle Nick go on killing spree.
(Uncle Nick chuckles)
Oh, fuiyoh! Cookbook!
Every YouTube chef got cookbook now.
(Uncle Nick chuckles)
What? Why empty?
Why just cover?
- The whole thing's a coloring book.
- Coloring book?
At least- - Yeah, you draw
pictures of food.
- This is for people to write their own recipe in it.
Ah, genius. Genius.
- I couldn't think of any on my own
so I just left them all blank.
- Uncle Roger like this.
(upbeat funky music)
- Do you know how to make brown butter?
- No. Butter you just buy from shop.
You not Amish. Don't need to make your own butter.
- First things first, we're gonna open up this butter
and go ahead and put it right in there.
- [Uncle Roger] The whole thing?
- I'm gonna go ahead and take some of my MSG.
- MSG with my face on it! Fuiyoh!
This is nice, Uncle Roger like.
You know I coming so you do this?
- No, I've had this for a couple years.
I've had this since before I knew you.
Okay, so go ahead and we'll take a little bit of the MSG
and sprinkle it into the butter, 'kay?
- That not enough. That not enough.
- Oh. - Oh, there a little spout.
- Do the dial. - Do it.
It'll come under.
- Oh. - Oh. Shit.
Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit.
- Go back, go back, go back.
What are you doing?
- What?
Just putting MSG in there, what you mean?
We sprinkle on the lobster.
Enjoy, before you die, eat some MSG.
This terrible design. Look at this, how you close it?
How you stop this? - (laughs) What?
- No, it's spilling too much now. Oh, oh.
Oh no, it's just, shit. So much white powder.
- What are you doing?
Don't waste all the MSG.
- Oh no, sorry. Oh.
Who design this shit?
Haiyaa, look at this. Look at this, camera.
Look, it so much white powder.
This remind me of my Saturday.
Know what I mean? (sniffs)
- And I have a little extra secret
for once the butter's there.
This is milk powder, 'kay?
- Milk powder? - I go ahead,
I add a little bit of milk powder in there.
Now I wait until it gets nice and toasty and light brown,
and then we pour it off into a bowl.
Can you get me another bowl?
- [Uncle Roger] Nice. Where?
- The cabinet right there.
- How you open this cabinet?
Uncle Nick, why your cabinet cannot...
Aah.
So how you opened it, you just hit it?
Aah.
This is what Uncle Roger like about cooking, violence.
- That is perfect, perfect brown butter.
So the next step, we have hotdog buns.
I like to go ahead and trim off both sides
of the hotdog bun, and then I go in with some oil.
- You just built whole studio kitchen
and then you forgot to put stove on your island.
Haiyaa.
Why the stove there?
You cooking YouTuber, stove should be here.
- I did think Uncle Roger would be happy to know
that I have a nice wok.
- Oh! - And it's very well seasoned,
and I have a setup for my wok right here.
- Nice, nice.
But still, this thing should be over there.
Nick, your designer fucked up.
- If Uncle Roger goes on a date,
comes back with a nice lady and wakes up in the morning,
do you make a nice breakfast?
- No.
I tie her down like how I tied the lobster.
(both chuckling)
Since my ex-wife left, Uncle Roger don't focus on woman now.
- I hate to break it to you,
but you're definitely gonna burn this,
Uncle Roger. - Oh, shit.
You keep distracting Uncle Roger with your talking.
Oh no.
We do another one.
Is this what you make when you bring woman back?
Lobster roll for breakfast?
- If they're lucky.
- Okay. Don't let your girlfriend find out.
- Oh. - Mmm.
(upbeat funky music)
- [Uncle Nick] Mmm, mmm.
- I thought you allergic- - You put way too much MSG.
- No such thing as too much MSG.
Ooh, it just right!
- There's one more thing you can do with a lobster,
you can hypnotize it or put it to sleep.
- How? - 'Kay, so this guy's alive,
moving around- - You just let them watch
one of your weejio.
That how they sleep.
- Emotional damage!
- That's good. That's good. (Uncle Roger laughs)
You flip him down and put him on his face,
and then see how he's still moving?
- Yeah.
- We're gonna brush him between his eyes for a little bit,
right between his head, and then he'll slowly relax.
'Kay. He's asleep.
- Fuiyoh. Nice.
- Well, now watch.
Ready? - Okay.
- [Uncle Nick] When you put him back down, he's alive again.
- [Uncle Roger] Huh!
- Isn't that crazy?
- This lobster so stupid.
Let's put it upside down, he fall asleep. Haiyaa.
Sometime Uncle Roger got insomnia. Cannot sleep at night.
I wish I was lobster, I just.
There, I fall asleep like this.
- [Uncle Nick] I'm gonna lift her out.
- [Uncle Roger] Oh, whoa. Fuiyoh.
- And into the ice bath we go.
- Ah, nice. - And the lobster's so big
that I can't even fit it in the ice bath.
- Where you get this lobster from?
- I have a guy that gives me seafood.
So if I ask him for big lobster or small lobster,
he gets whatever we need.
- Nice. - Or I can ask him
for all girls or I can ask him for all boys.
- So he like the human trafficker for lobster.
And then what is this room?
- This is the guest bedroom.
- Why you got bedroom in your studio?
Is this where you film your OnlyFan? Haiyaa.
- I don't have an OnlyFans.
- Really?
- No.
- This perfect for it. The lighting good also.
- What? (Zach laughs)
My favorite movie in the world, "Ratatouille,"
and this is my motto, anyone can cook.
- Are you sure anyone can cook?
Have you seen Jamie Oliver?
He the exception to this statement, haiyaa.
You should put except Jamie Oliver
under there. (Uncle Nick laughs)
More neon text under there. - Oh.
Speaking of which, I actually,
because you came to Boston, I have a gift for you.
I kept it hidden in the drawer
so that Uncle Roger wouldn't see it.
- [Uncle Roger] What is that?
- You ready? - Yeah.
Oh no. - "Jamie's 15 Minute Meals."
- What is this shit? Haiyaa.
Oh, and there is stuff inside.
Jamie Oliver, his cookbook should be empty, haiyaa.
Thank you, Uncle Nick,
but Uncle Roger not gonna bring this back with me.
(upbeat funky music)
- At this point, we need to take out all the meat.
First things first, crack off a claw, okay?
Crack it and then go ahead
and crack it open and pull that off.
- Fuiyoh! That's lots of lobster meat
right there, 'kay?
That right there is the whole lobster claw from inside.
Isn't that beautiful?
- Oh. Why it so hard to crack?
I struck, oh, oh shit.
Oh, there we go.
- Twist, 'kay, now flip it over, do the other side.
Good. Twist.
Good. Now you can break it by-
- Oh, squirting. Fuiyoh!
Uncle Roger never seen this before.
If I can't make woman squirt, make lobster squirt,
that a nice second place.
It not perfect, but it okay.
First time cooking lobster.
- Not bad at all.
All right, and the last thing I wanna show you
is how to take off the tail, okay?
Open it up.
Twist.
Again.
- What the green thing?
- [Uncle Nick] That's the poop.
- Eww.
- That's a lot of poop. - That's a lot of shit.
- Yeah. - Remind me of you.
Full of shit.
- Now you can see I've slightly undercooked the meat
on purpose so I can control the finishing of it, okay?
Oh, someone taught Uncle Roger knife work, huh?
- What, you think I can't cook?
Why you look down on me like that?
Just because I don't compete in "MasterChef"
don't mean I cannot cook.
Haiyaa. - I might be the one
that's about to lose my title.
Do you wanna try a piece? I'll feed you.
What are you doing? Why are you closing your eyes like that?
(smooth sexy music) - Mmm.
Mmm.
The texture good.
Many people overcook lobster
and then it become very rubbery.
- I'm gonna go ahead and take my brown butter
that we made earlier and put that into the pan.
Once that's lightly hot,
I'm gonna go ahead toss in my lobster meat
but we don't wanna overcook this.
- Niece and Nephew, this not non-stick,
so you can use metal in it.
Don't worry.
- This is how we finish the lobster roll, 'kay?
In with some mayonnaise.
- Good American condiment.
- It's actually not in my cookbook, but I do this,
this is a little trick outside.
I like to go ahead and just put some celery,
just for texture.
- Why it not in your cookbook?
- I just forgot to put it in there.
- See, Niece and Nephew, that what you get,
empty cookbook with mistake in them.
Haiyaa.
- Where's my microplane?
You know what a microplane is?
- Shredding cheese thing.
- [Uncle Nick] You know so much more than I thought you did.
- What?
Who you think I am? Jamie Oliver?
Haiyaa.
- [Uncle Nick] So I'm gonna go in
with a little bit of this lemon zest.
- That the only thing lemon good for.
You ever tried to eat whole lemon?
It tastes like shit. But lemon zest taste amazing.
- Dill. Then we can go in with some lobster meat.
Go ahead and pick all the good ones, right?
- And the rest, you through them out.
- Feed them to everybody else that's helping us film.
- Yeah, like your cameraman.
Look at this shirt. Look at this shirt.
Leave comment below who you think pull it off better.
Uncle Roger or Nephew Manny.
- The most important ingredient in my lobster roll,
some of this brown butter.
A bunch of this brown butter right into there, okay?
Those are all the flavorful milk solid bits.
Now we layer it all into the lobster roll.
And then to finish things off,
I like to add a little bit of these fennel fronds.
- Mmm. - Okay?
- Fuiyoh! Uncle Nick, this looks so good.
Hmm. - I'm nervous.
(bouncy synth music)
- Mmm, the bread crunchy and sweet. Good texture.
The lobster and the butter salty.
Nice. Mmm.
Mmm! - Mm.
Very good.
- Amazing.
Uncle Roger can't stop eating this.
This tastes so good,
Uncle Roger decide you get to keep the Uncle title.
Fuiyoh! - Yay!
- Congratulation, Uncle Nick.
To commemorate this, Uncle Roger got special gift for you.
T-shirt with Uncle title.
- Oh! - Fuiyoh!
- I'm gonna hang this up in my studio.
- Put next to all your world record over there.
And you can put it there until you lose it again.
Because I know you're gonna fuck up soon.
I have a good feeling.
Niece and Nephew, go subscribe to Uncle Nick.
See you next time. Bye-bye.
Oh, we actually in the process of filming another weejio
but we're gonna pretend this new weejio, you know?
The magic of YouTube. Nobody show you the behind the scene.
This one the largest dumpling weejio, correct?
Yep. - Yeah.
I hope it turn out good.
Otherwise Uncle Roger come here for nothing.
Uncle Nick the Harvey Weinstein of lobster.
- What? (laughs) (crew laughs)
- [Crew member] God.
That's coming out. (Uncle Roger laughs)
- He's probably gonna keep it.
It's so big that it might not work.
(crew member coughs)
What's he doing?
- He coughing.
Have you heard of COVID? It quite a big thing.
- Here's how you finish the lobster roll, okay?
- Okay. - You have poop on your arm.
- [Uncle Roger] Ugh!
(both laughing)
We caught that, right?
- Yeah. - Yes!
You have to get over your fear.
(Uncle Roger groans)
(Uncle Roger laughs)
I scaring myself.
Come, come. We take selfie with the lobster.
- Okay.
(camera flashes) (bright jingly music)