-Our first guest is one of our all-time favorites.
He stars in the new movie "Spiral: From the Book of Saw,"
which is in theaters now.
Please welcome Chris Rock!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Chris Julius Rock ♪
♪ To me, you're supreme ♪
♪ And in his spare time ♪
♪ He plays the tambourine ♪
♪ Chris Julius Rock ♪
♪ Round and round he goes ♪
♪ He's in a spiral, playing the five-oh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
-Look at that. That's how you do it.
That's how -- Come on, now!
That's how you do it.
Come on. That's how you do it right there.
Come on. [ Laughs ]
That's how you do it right there!
Standing ovation, Chris Rock!
-All right. Socially distanced, all nine of them.
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
We have nine people here, ready to laugh.
-Just ready to laugh.
Wait. What did y'all play me out to?
What was that? -We now make songs up
on the spot so no one can complain.
-So no more "King of Rock" or "Rocking It," "Rock the Casbah"?
[ Laughter ]
It's like every time I come, there's like another rock...
Wait. How far am I away from you?
-I can't hear you. I can't hear you.
-Wow!
Do I need a bus transfer to answer the question?
-You get a walkie-talkie. -What the hell?!
-Yeah, this is it, man.
-This ain't a talk show, this a yell show!
[ Laughter ]
-"How are you doing?!" -It's a holler show!
-Yeah, it is. -What the hell is going on?
This is my first COVID talk show.
-Yeah, it's bizarre, right? -Wow!
They test me coming in. I'm vaccinated.
I'm Two-Shots Rock. That's what they call me.
[ Cheers and applause ] -That's what I'm talking about.
See? That's what I'm talking about.
-Two-Shots Rock, baby! -Two-Shots Rock.
♪♪
-Yeah! You know, besides this
little foot growing out my ass, I feel fine.
[ Laughter ] -You don't even notice it.
You don't even notice it. -Yeah, just a tiny foot
growing out my ass. [ Laughter ]
I put a little booty on it. -You got the Moderna?
-I got the Johnson & Johnson. -Oh, yeah.
-Yeah. That's the food stamps of vaccines.
[ Laughter ]
That is -- [ Laughter ]
You know I skipped the line, too, to get my vaccine.
I didn't care. -Oh, you did?
-Oh, yeah. I used my celebrity, Jimmy.
[ Laughter ] -You just did.
-I didn't care. I was like,
"Hey, step aside, Betty White."
[ Laughter ]
"Step aside, old people.
Judge Judy, kiss my ass." [ Laughter ]
I did "Pootie Tang." Let me in the front of the line.
-Exactly right. -I was like Billy Zane
on the Titanic, I'll tell you that.
[ Laughter ]
That's a good reference, Billy Zane on...
-Leo died. Billy Zane lived...
[ Laughter ] ...to see another day.
I don't want to be Leo at the bottom of the ocean.
-No, you want to be out there, and you want to --
-Yeah, Billy Zane got another woman after that thing.
[ Laughter ]
-You got to be Billy Zane, not Leo.
-No, you don't want to be Leo. No, no.
In real life, you want to be Leo, but...
-Yeah, exactly, right, yeah. But in that movie --
-In reality, you want to be Leo. -But, I mean,
last time we talked, you were kind of going crazy,
'cause you're like, "Dude, I got to get out there.
I got to do stand-up." -I got to do something.
-This is part of your brain. -Yeah, I've been doing
a little bit with Dave last night --
me, Dave, and Trevor did a show last night.
That was really hot. -Do people freak out
when they see Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Trevor Noah
just step on stage and be like, "What?"
-Yeah, we did one last night. Other than that, I saw Mulaney.
Mulaney's working on new stuff. Mulaney's getting divorced.
This is how bad I got --
This is how much money I lost in my divorce.
I recommended my ex-wife's divorce lawyer.
That's how bad -- [ Laughter ]
-That's a friend. That's a friend.
-I was like, "You should get this guy."
[ Laughter ] -'Cause he's good.
-"Oh, he'll get you your money." [ Laughter ]
-That's a friend. That's a friend.
-"This guy's good!" [ Laughter ]
'Cause I walked out with nothing!
[ Laughter ]
-God dang.
-I couldn't even afford the tickets tonight.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-You think I'm joking. I really did.
-You did, right? -Oh, yeah.
-We just had Eddie Murphy on our show,
and we were talking, and he brought up you,
and we were talking about you.
Do you remember, like, seeing Eddie and then him --
he gave you your first break, right?
In "Beverly Hills 2." -I was in "Beverly Hills Cop 2."
Yes, I'm in the Playboy mansion. -Got a picture of you.
-Yes, look at me. -That's -- Yeah.
-Look at -- Look -- So that's -- that's --
It's not exac-- that's like a Jheri curl that I didn't
have the money to maintain
so it's like kind of growing out.
So when people say they don't want to take the vaccine,
I'm like, "I had Jheri curl stuff in my hair."
-Yeah, exactly. -"I don't know what's in that."
I don't know what's in Froot Loops, man.
[ Laughter ]
-But I eat them. -But I eat them.
-Yeah, absolutely, yeah. -Yeah, they're delicious.
-He was so fun, and I was just wondering --
You've now known him for a long time.
What does it -- Does it get any more normal
talking to Eddie Murphy? -Nah, the thing with Eddie is,
you know, like, normally, like, the more you meet somebody,
the more normal they get. -Yeah.
-And you feel comfortable. Eddie's the exact opposite.
[ Laughter ]
The more you meet him, the more scared you get.
[ Laughter ]
-"Oh, he doesn't like that anymore."
But when he laughs at something that you do,
it makes you feel great. Like, we got in a whole run,
and we were both laughing, and I made Eddie Murphy laugh,
and I go, "That means a lot." And, like, when you laugh,
and I make you laugh, that means a lot.
Does it change your brain when you're like,
"Dude, I'm just gonna leave right now
because I just made Eddie Murphy laugh"?
-When I made Dick Cheney laugh, now that means a lot.
[ Laughter ]