ALL RIGHT, ANOTHER BANNER WEEK
FOR THE MEDIA.
IF BY BANNER YOU MEAN STUPID.
EVERY MAJOR.
[LAUGHTER]
I DON'T LIKE THOSE.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I'M
NOT INTO FLIES OR MOSQUITOES.
BUT WHO IS, REALLY?
I DON'T LIKE SNAKES TOO MUCH.
>> I DON'T LIKE SNAKES TOO MUCH.
THEY ARE A DIFFERENT VARIETY.
>> THERE ALMOST AS BAD AS
CHILDREN.
>> I KNOW A GUY CAN'T STAND HIS
CHILDREN.
HORRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS.
THEY ARE A LITTLE OLDER NOW BUT
THEY ARE HORRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS.
THEY WOULD SAY, WHY WOULD THEY
LEAVE, THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU?
>> MAKES ME THINK ABOUT WHY MC.
>> THE SONG YMCA.
>> WHY NOT EVERYONE LOVES THAT
SONG?
>> REPUBLICANS LOVE IT AND
DEMOCRATS LOVE IT AND LABORS AND
UNIONS LOVE IT.
>> I COULD BE WHY EVERYONE IS
LOOKING SO MUCH BETTER THESE
DAYS.
>> YOU LOOK ALL MUCH BETTER THAN
YOU DID THREE YEARS AGO.
[LAUGHTER]
EVEN WHEN THE NEED TO MOVEMENT
BEGAN.
BETTER LOOKING.
[CHEERING]
EXCLUDING CEMENT.
INCLUDING THE MEN.
>> NOT LIKE THOSE PHONY
DEMOCRATS.
>> HOW ABOUT THE PHONY DEMOCRAT?
THEY STARTED WITH RUSSIA,
PRUSSIA, RUSSIA.
THEN THEY WENT TO RACE.
THEN RECESSION, THERE'S GOING TO
BE RECESSION.
PLEASE LET THERE BE A RECESSION.
[LAUGHTER]
>> THESE ARE PHONY PEOPLE BUT
THAT'S OKAY.
>> THESE ARE PHONY PEOPLE BUT
THAT'S OKAY.
WHEN YOU THINK OF IT, I'M
PRESIDENT AND THEY ARE NOT.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
PRESIDENT TRUMP.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
PRESIDENT TRUMP.
>> THAT WAS AN EXPERIMENT TO
SHOW YOU [BLEEP] IS FUNNY ON ITS
OWN.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO WRITE A
DAMN JOKE ANYMORE.
I JUST PICKED THE VEXED PARTS
AND REPEAT IT.
[LAUGHTER]
WHICH IS GREAT.
IT'S LESS WORK FOR ME.
THEY ARE GETTING MORE DESPERATE
EVERY DAY.
THINGS ARE PRETTY GOOD BUT THEY
NEED PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IT'S
PRETTY BAD.
SO THEY FRANTICALLY TRY TO
REANIMATE THE CAP STORY.
NEW YORK TIMES RAN AN EXCERPT
FROM A BOOK THE INCIDENT OF
SEXUAL ABUSE DOCUMENTED.
THAT WAS ON EVERY SHOW AND
NETWORK.
I DON'T ONCE, REVEALED THAT THEY
LEFT OUT A KEY FACT.
THE VICTIM HAD NO RECOLLECTION
OF THE INCIDENT.
WEIRD HOW THAT GOT PAST THE
EDITORS.
DETAILS LIKE THAT, YOU WOULD
THINK IT WOULD MATTER.
THEY OBLITERATED THAT DETAIL
THAT WAS HOW THEY MAINTAINED
THEIR BUSINESS MODEL WHICH
APPEALS TO THE PEOPLE THAT THEY
DO.
THEY COMMIT A CRIME LEAVING OUT
THE PART ABOUT THEIR NOT BEING A
VICTIM.
IMAGINE THAT.
THAT'S A PRETTY BIG ADMISSION.
THAT'S LIKE WRITING A BOOK ABOUT
GREAT AMERICANS AND FORGETTING
ABOUT ME.
[LAUGHTER]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THAT WASN'T THE ONLY MISTAKE.
ONE DAY THEY ARE PUSHING FALSE
STATS, LEADING TO TRUMP RALLIES.
THEN ANOTHER DAY THERE RUNNING
STORIES ABOUT TERMS FEELINGS AND
SCOTLAND.
THAT WAS AN ACTUAL STORY.
THERE'S OTHER CRAB ABOUT FAMILY
TURMOIL.
NO WONDER THEY TRIED TO SMEAR
THE KAVANAUGH.
THEY DELIBERATELY WARPED THE
TRUTH.
I WONDER IF TRUMP AGREES THIS
ONE OF THE WORST WEEKS IN THE
HISTORY OF THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA.
>> I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE