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[Music]
at the beginning of time in the far away
reaches of space
the klintar rose from a living darkness
one of these amorphous symbiotes was
venom who was a freaking loser
hey don't look at me all the goop aliens
were saying it so they kicked the poor
slime ball straight off the planet
in its exile the symbiote underwent a
number of misadventures which firmly
shaped its personality
it bonded to a heroic cree soldier
rescuing refugees
a violent monster who committed genocide
and
apparently deadpool damn no wonder
venom's so messed up in the head
eventually the symbiote was discovered
by peter parker your friendly
neighborhood spider-man
it gave him a pretty slick black suit
and awesome new powers but after finding
out it was a confused raging
psychopathic alien
pete decided to exercise it with the
power of christian rook
a wise decision although ill-timed as
this event would cause the symbiote to
finally meet its greatest partner
edward brock eddie was a journalist with
the unluckiest backstory ever
while trying to uncover the identity of
a serial killer he blamed the wrong guy
the same day he published his article
spidey caught the real killer
who lived right next door to the dude
and he blamed
long story short eddie was fired from
his job divorced by his wife
and disowned by his father who already
blamed eddie for his wife dying in
childbirth
on top of all of that eddie learned he
developed adrenal cancer
with only a few months left to live man
and i thought 2020 was rough
i almost don't blame him for becoming a
super villain with all
hope lost he begged god to take it all
away
and got an answer the symbiotes just
like captain planet with their powers
combined these two losers became
a super loser well no they actually
became a horrifying monster with all of
spider-man's powers and then some their
mutual hatred of spider-man caused the
symbol to bond to eddie like no host
ever before
they were perfect a terror in the night
an unstoppable demon
they were venom it even cured eddie's
cancer
sort of it's complicated apart from
spider-man's webbing and web crawling
powers
venom can use shape-shifting to mold his
body into cool doodads
swords shields tendrils worm monster
things even wings
yeah imagine seeing this guy flying
outside your window
at night well good luck sleeping ever
again venom can camouflage his entire
body
heal severe wounds like impalement and
lost limbs
see all around him at once and
psychically project emotions onto
others normally this just makes people
feel sorry for themselves
like whiz on tinder but one time he
convinced a bunch of other symbiotes
that life was meaningless and they
killed themselves [ __ ] that's dark if
desperate the symbiote can even
invade the bodies of others and make
them burst from
inside out you know i bet he'd be great
at birthday parties
what are you kidding you know he could
like make balloon animals out of his
tendrils and
stuff i mean i guess anything's better
than a clown
oh great you said a c word now i have to
go get blackout drunk and get this image
out of my head
yeah i think i'll join you come back in
a couple days as we introduce krona from
soul eater this whiz is called a
beer you drink it to not be a little
[ __ ]
i know what a fear is sure you do mr
white claw