I'm single, I'm 36 and I am,
you know I'm trying to assess these things.
That's why I offered that up so quickly is because I do,
I'm realizing like I'm starting to place different value
on things that I need in a relationship for a man now.
Like, I really want a man who is okay with
like, he can cry,
he goes to therapy,
[Conan] Wow.
Not cryotherapy.
Just because you watched one Joe Rogan, YouTube clip
where you will learn about a breathing Wim Hof breathing
doesn't mean you're ready to be a like a giving lover
and then have compassion.
But I want a guy that like works on himself.
I go to therapy.
I just recently stopped
because I realized I was too emotionally advanced
for the man that I was like wanting to
men need to catch up a little bit.
And I'm not saying that as a dig man,
obviously don't go to therapy as often as women do,
because you guys are you know,
psyche tells you that you're not supposed to feel.
And men are really scared to go to therapy
that they'll get in there.
And you'll be sitting across
from like an old woman with a PhD.
Who's like listening to your feelings.
She's jotting things down and she'll be like,
" Okay, I heard everything."
And she'll close her book and go
"I have like a diagnosis you're gay."
And that she'll have, she'll go.
"And you know what?
I have to tell everyone in your life
because it's just my job.
And that's what I have to do.
And-"
Which is not a therapist's job by the way.
It's clear you know nothing about therapists.
And now I have to tell everyone
'cause that's the therapy code.
Yes, that's well, they really think
that there's going to be some admission in there
that will make them like the scariest thing
that heterosexual men fear is like I might be gay.
You know, it's just a dumb fear obviously.
This is a joke.
But I think that there is something to that
and I'm just telling you like men,
if you go to therapy and you cry
and talk about your feelings you're not gonna be gay.
She's not gonna like open your eyes up to you're gay.
And if you are gay, that's great too.
I would really appreciate that
and 'cause I don't wanna keep dating you
and have you take out your aggression on
my asshole.
I am..
(Nikki laughing)
I really couldn't commit to that joke.
I came up, I was like, it's too much.
Conan's kids might be watching
No, no, no, my kids won't see this.
I'm just now checking the rafters.
The whole crew just ran up into the rafters.
(background laughter)
Everyone was completely,
everyone was completely blown away by that.
You know, it's interesting though, like
it's do you find that the men
that you dated in the past
probably needed to go to therapy?
That's always the reason, you know.
And it's nothing like,
I don't need you to fix yourself.
It's not gonna get fixed.
We're all just
but be working towards it.
Acknowledge that you're doing
things aren't working for you anymore.
My ex boyfriend,
we broke up I think because of that mainly.
And because I couldn't stop talking about him on podcast
and breached his trust a lot.
But also he wasn't going to therapy.
We started hanging out again.
We're friends again.
And the other day he was like,
Oh, I got to go at three because I got therapy.
And I was like, "Really?"
Like I was like, "Oh my God.'
And he goes, " Oh no physical therapy."
And I was like, " Oh, okay."
He was like, "I go"
"what for?"
He's like, "Oh I (beep)up my shoulder."
And I was like, " How?"
He's like, "Oh, I, I punched a wall
'cause I forgot to DVR the good doctor."
I'm like, "Oh yeah, don't look into that
burst of aggression that has nothing to do
with your anger towards your father.
Let's just keep living like the way we've been doing it."
So, he wasn't you for a second though.
You thought he was going to therapy and you were interested.
I was so horned up.
I'm gonna need physical therapy
for how quickly I dropped to my knees
and started unbuttoning his pants.
When he told me he was gonna possibly address
his complex emotions.
God.
Well, you know what?
You've put it out there that,
'cause for a lot of people
that would be very interested in dating you, Nikki.
A lot of good people
and you've put it out it's good.
Set me up Conan.
You're putting it out there
that you want a guy who's done some of the work
and is open to being emotionally available.
Maybe exploring their stuff,
seeing a therapist. Yes
Tying me up.
Like,
wait, wait.
did you, okay.
(Canon laughing)
That was part of this therapy.
I love that you've lost your,
you've lost your earphones 30 times during this interview
Dude, I had to borrow some from people
'cause I cannot keep my own
and they are far too big for my tiny
again, I have the tiniest ear holes.
Oh man, that's the biggest turn on for me.
It's so tight, a cue tip makes me feel...
No, I don't even know but I, I am not-
By the way, that's nobody's turn on.
I have the tiniest ear holes
It's not.
I literally went to the ear nose and throat doctor
cause my voice is just like,
I sound pretty rough.
I'll say that.
I went to the ear, nose and throat doctor.
My doctor was like very hot and I didn't see it coming.
And I would have like prepared
cause whenever I'm around a hot guy
I make sure all my holes are like in working order.
Not those, because I was like at the ear lobes
he put in a thing and I have like too much wax.
I don't know why I'm just like a waxy gal.
And he looked at that and he goes,
"whoa!
do you ever use a Q?"
Whenever I stick a Q-tip in it
it literally looks like I stuck it in a baked ziti.
Like it's I just make,
(both laugh)
It was so embarrassing.
I was like, do you want to check any of the others?
They're good.
Yeah
No
I'm looking for a guy and I'm working on myself.
And I've honestly,
I wanted to like put a call out there on your show.
So anyone watching you're a fan of Conan.
I'm a single lady.
Here's what I'm looking for.
Someone who is emotionally
evolved.
Someone who's doesn't have to be funnier than me
just has to get my jokes.
If you're like Conan, you're gonna get my jokes.
And then also it looks wise I can be a little shallow.
I don't mind height.
I'm height blind.
I don't care.
I like a short guy 'cause if you go for a short guy
you can tend to get hotter guys
if they're shorter, like on discount.
It's like you know,
getting like a designer sweater at Marshall's.
Like it's overlooked by those people.
So like you can get hotter in the face.
If you go, you can get a 10 in the face.
If you go five, seven, and the height is what I've found.
But so height doesn't matter
but like I like women always tend to describe men's
like physical traits that they like based on like athletes.
So if I was building my perfect man,
it'd be like a
like swimmer shoulders, like runners legs and
like a golfers asshole.
I don't know what that means.
That was just a
dumb jokes. I mean.
What does that mean? I just wanted to
make you laugh.
I literally don't know. That has that means
I didn't know golfers.. I just wanted
to be able to hold these ear buds in place.
Oh, okay
I want it to be the same size as mine.
What am I talking about?
(Conan laughing)
My mom and dad are watching
Oh please, you can always call them and say
"The Conan interview got canceled.
Don't watch."
That's true, but they love you too much
and they also, they,
they got me into you. I've met your parents.
They came by the
show. Yeah
They came by
the show. My parents
are the reason I'm cool.
They're much cooler than I am.
And my dad took me aside when I was in,
I think seventh grade and was like
there is a show that I just came across it last night.
It was your fifth anniversary special.
Oh
He taped it on VHS and I watched it
and I just told you this before
but I just, it was this moment for me where I was like
something out there
you felt this way comedically about people.
Yup
I'm understood,
the things I've been laughing about
and wanna laugh at are being done.
And this is just.
I watched your 10th anniversary special last night,
oddly enough.
And was just reliving some of the greatest moments and
That's nice.
Yeah, I'm just so grateful you're still around
and will continue to be around and like.
Calling you my friend
is one of the greatest gifts of my life.
Well, you will see the same thing
which is when you put this stuff out there
it's only cause I've been doing it for a long time.
But when you put stuff out there
you're gonna meet so many young people.
Men and women who come up to you
and you're not even aware
you're just doing your thing right now
and then they're gonna come up to you later on.
And they'll say, when I was seven, when I was 10
when I was 15, I got in trouble cause I watched you
and it really like connected with me.
So you have no idea how many friends
you're making right now.
I mean, you hear it all the time from people
but it just, it just goes.
And to me, that's the nicest thing
about being in this business.
Absolutely that you know.
The money's not bad but that's the best part.