>> HE TAKES NO NONSENSE. AND HE TAKES NO MORE THAN TEN
SECONDS TO REACH A VERDICT. HE'S JUDGE BARRY AND THIS IS
"FIRST IMPRESSIONS COURT." >> ALL RISE.
THE HONORABLE JUDGE BARRY PRESIDING.
>> ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.
BE SEATED. >> YOUR HONOR, THIS IS CASE
NUMBER 18 ON THE DOCKET. >> 26-YEAR-OLD PATRICIA JONES IS
SUING HER FORMER FRIEND FOR $2,700 AFTER SHE ALLEGES HE
STOLE HER CAR WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP AND STILL HASN'T RETURNED
IT. THE DEFENDANT, 53-YEAR-OLD
TREVOR BRISBY SAYS THAT HE -- >> GUILTY.
HE DID IT! NEXT CASE.
>> HOLD ON, NOW. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, YOUR
MAJESTY, BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD MY SIDE OF THE STORY YET,
MAN. >> SIR, I'VE BEEN A CHICAGO
JUDGE FOR 31 YEARS. I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR YOUR SIDE.
I'M LOOKING AT YOU IN THAT RIDICULOUS SUIT AND I KNOW THAT
YOU'RE GUILTY OF SOMETHING. >> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
>> WELL, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. PLEASE, YOUR MAJESTY.
JUST LET ME EXPLAIN. >> YOU'VE GOT TEN SECONDS.
>> WELL, I THANK YOU FOR THAT. NOW, FIRST OF ALL, THE ONLY
REASON I'M UP IN HERE IS BECAUSE THIS WOMAN IS TRYING TO HAVE
SEXUAL PENETRATIONS ON ME. >> EXCUSE ME?!
>> YOU KNOW I GOT THAT MAGIC STICK, BABY.
>> YOU'RE DISGUSTING. >> GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
JUDGMENT IS FOR THE PLAINTIFF. NEXT CASE.
>> PLAINTIFF JUDITH BAKER SAYS SHE IS OWED $325 AFTER THE
DEFENDANT, HER EX-BOYFRIEND, 29-YEAR-OLD LADENZEL JENKINS.
>> HOLD ON. YOUR NAME IS LADENZEL?
OH, YOU DEFINITELY GUILTY. >> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
>> BUT YOU AIN'T EVEN HEAR MY STORY!
>> WHATEVER IT IS. YOU DID IT, MAN.
LOOK AT HOW YOU CAME TO COURT. >> LOOK, YOUR HIGHNESS, ME AND
THIS WOMAN AIN'T NEVER EVEN DATED.
>> YES, WE DID. WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER.
>> OKAY, BUT YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TIME.
>> GUILTY. JUST PAY THE LADY.
LET'S KEEP THIS THING MOVING. NEXT CASE.
>> THE PLAINTIFF -- >> HE'S GUILTY.
HE'S GUILTY. >> BUT I'M THE PLAINTIFF.
>> PLAINTIFF, DEFENDANT, I DON'T CARE.
I JUST KNOW THAT YOU'RE GUILTY. >> BUT I HAVE A SPECIAL SURPRISE
WITNESS. >> LET ME GUESS, IT'S A PUPPET?
>> ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO GO. >> YEAH, WISE CHOICE.
NEXT CASE! >> A MALE EXOTIC DANCER --
>> NEXT CASE! GUILTY.
>> ALL RIGHT. CAN WE DO ONE WITH NORMAL
PEOPLE? >> ANDREW WILSON IS SUING HIS
FORMER TENANT AND COWORKER, JOANNE McCORMACK FOR A BROKEN
LEASE, STOLEN FURNITURE AND APPLIANCES AMOUNTING TO $5,000.
>> OKAY. OKAY.
THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. >> YOUR HONOR, THIS LADY MAY
LOOK INNOCENT, BUT SHE IS A CON ARTIST, A LIAR, AND A THIEF.
>> INTERESTING. MA'AM?
>> OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, THAT'S A DANG LIE.
HEP WANT TO DO -- >> GUILTY.
HE WINS. YOU ALMOST HAD ME.
ALL RIGHT LET'S DO ONE MORE.
I GOT NIGHT CHURCH IN AN HOUR. >> GLADYS FELDMAN IS SUING HER
FORMER LIVE-IN NURSE, APOLLO BENZ --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] -- FOR STOLEN CASH.
>> NOW, LISTEN, YOUR HOMBRE. I SEE THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING AT
ME RIGHT NOW AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
>> THAT YOU BANG OLD LADIES AND THEN STEAL THEIR MONEY?
>> THAT MAY BE SO. BUT I'M NOT JUST SOME DUMB J.LO,
I'M ALSO A CERTIFIED PARAPLEGIC -- LEGAL.
SO I UNDERSTAND THE LAW. >> YOUR HONOR, THIS MAN IS A
THIEF. >> EXCUSE ME!
SHE STOLE FROM ME FIRST. >> OH, REALLY, WHAT DID SHE
STEAL? >> MY HEART.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU GAVE ME THE BIGGEST AND BEST Os OF MY
LIFE. BUT I STILL WANT MY MONEY AND MY
CHANDELIER EARRINGS. THEY'VE BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR
GENERATIONS. >> SIR, DO YOU HAVE THIS WOMAN'S
EARRINGS, TOO? >> WAIT, THESE?
>> GUILTY! I NEED A BIG BOY BREAK.
LET'S TAKE A RECESS. >> IT'S "FIRST IMPRESSIONS
COURT" WITH JUDGE BARRY.