OF COURSE, THE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON IS IN FULL
SWING.
THERE ARE SO MANY SUPERHERO MOVIES THIS YEAR.
BESIDES "AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR," WE'VE ALREADY HAD "BLAC
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PANTHER," AND PRETTY SOON
THERE'LL BE "ANT-MAN AND THE WASP," "AQUAMAN," "VENOM"-- I
MEAN, AT WHAT POINT WILL AUDIENCES SAY, "ENOUGH WITH THE
SUPERHEROES"?
>> IS IT "DEADPOOL 2?" I BET IT'S "DEADPOOL 2"--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WHAT!
WHAT!
WELL--
LOOK AT THAT!
DEADPOOL?
HOLY COW!
DEADPOOL, STAR OF THE MOVIE "DEADPOOL."
>> PLEASE, NO ONE STAND UP.
ITS CBS.
I KNOW HOW OLD YOUR AUDIENCE IS.
>> Stephen: WELL, WADE, MAY I CALL YOU WADE?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MONOLOGUE.
YOU DO REALIZE I'M DOING A SHOW RIGHT NOW?
>> DON'T BE DISGUSTING, STEPHEN.
THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO PROMOTE MY NEW MOVIE, "DEADPOOL
2," IN THEATERS FRIDAY.
AND, YES, I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR GUEST TONIGHT.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
OBT, OBVIOUSLY-- YEAH, HEY, WHAT'S UP?
I CAN DO THAT, TOO.
THAT WOULD BE-- WELL, OBVIOUSLY, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY, BUT I
ALREADY HAVE A GUEST.
IT'S ACADEMY AWARD WINNER JAMIE FOXX.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> I SEE.
WELL, HE'S GOT BOYISH CHARM FOR DAYS.
I, FOR ONE, LOVED HIS WORK IN "BACK TO THE FUTURE."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: THAT'S-- THAT'SA-- THAT'S A DIFFERENT FOX.
>> I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT
I'LL TELL YOU WHO SHOULD NOT BE ON YOUR SHOW: RYAN REYNOLDS.
HUGE (BLEEP).
HE'S LIKE THE POOR MAN'S VERSION OF RYAN REYNOLDS AND LIKE THE
RICH MAN'S VERSION OF MY MOST RECENT TURD.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO NOW.
>> YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, JIMMY.
I SHOULD GO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I SHOULD GO AHEAD AND READ THE
REST OF YOUR MONOLOGUE.
>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?
YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THIS, BOTH STAND AND READ JOKES?
YOU KNOW, IN OUR OWN WAY, WE LATE-NIGHT HOSTS ARE BASICALLY
SUPERHEROES.
>> BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL MOSTLY WHITE MEN?
( APPLAUSE ) COME ON.
COME ON, GIVE ME THOSE GLASSES.
LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE.
>> LET'S DO THIS.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
>> HELLO!
I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
AND I'M LEGALLY BLIND.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
BELIEVE THIS, BUT DONALD TRUMP IS IN THE NEWS.
THE ADMINISTRATION IS STILL DEALING WITH THE FALLOUT FROM
TRUMP ANNOUNCING THAT THE U.S.
WILL BE PULLING OUT OF THE IRAN DEAL.
IT'S TRUMP'S BIGGEST PULLING OUT BLUNDER SINCE ERIC.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND PRESIDENT TRUMP SPENT THE DAY COMPLAINING ON TWITTER ABOUT
LEAKS INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW TRUMP
PREFERS HIS LEAKS IN RUSSIAN HOTEL ROOMS.
( APPLAUSE ) YOU GET IT, STEPHEN?
BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT WATCHED TWO RUSSIAN PROSTITUTES URINATE
ON A HOTEL MATTRESS.
>> Stephen: ALLEGEDLY.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT, ALLEGEDLY.
COULD'VE BEEN THREE PROSTITUTES.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WE-- WE GET THE
IDEA.
>> WE'VE GOT A GREAT ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT!
>> Stephen: WHEN I COME BACK, MORE MONOLOGUE.
>> OH, HOW TANTALIZINGLY VAGUE.
>> Stephen: AND "BACK TO THE FUTURE'S" JAMIE FOXX IS HERE.
>> AND BLAKE LIVELY IS NOT.
I DON'T FEEL WELL.
OH, WHAT THE!
YOU DON'T HAVE THE BUDGET FOR THIS, COLBERT.
DEADBOOL, EVERYBODY.
"DEADPOOL 2" IS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY.
♪ ♪ ♪