- WHAT A MIND-BLOWING FINISH TO AN INCREDIBLE GAME TONIGHT,
WITH CHARLIE SANDERS WINNING THE GAME
IN LITERALLY THE LAST SECOND.
UNBELIEVABLE, TRULY SPECTACULAR.
CHARLIE SANDERS, HOW DOES IT FEEL?
- HEY, YO, I WANNA SAY SOMETHIN' TO EVERYBODY WATCHIN'.
YO, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!
THE WORLD IS YOURS!
- AND CHARLIE, DID YOU THINK THAT THAT GAME
WAS GONNA END THAT WAY TONIGHT?
- YO, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, ALL RIGHT?
YOU CAN SWIM ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
YOU CAN JUMP REAL HIGH AND TOUCH THE MOON!
- FANTASTIC. CHARLIE SANDERS, FRESH OFF OF HIS, UH, VICTORY.
I JUST FEEL LIKE HE'S READY TO TOUCH THE MOON.
- I CAN FLY! ANYBODY CAN FLY!
IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
THE WAY I BELIEVE IN MYSELF TONIGHT,
YOU WILL FLY!
- AND WHAT'S NEXT FOR CHARLIE SANDERS AND THE ORANGE--
- KIDS, YOU CAN ACTUALLY FLY!
- NO--NO, NOT-- OH, NOT LITERALLY, OF COURSE.
- YES! LITERALLY! KIDS!
YOUNG KIDS, I WANT YOU TO GO UP ON YOUR ROOFS RIGHT NOW!
- WAIT, WHAT? - FLY INTO THE NIGHT SKY!
- OKAY. - PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU FLYING!
AND THEN YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!
- OKAY, WELL, WE--WE--WE-- WE JUST WANT TO REMIND THE KIDS
THAT OF COURSE, YOU CANNOT ACTUALLY FLY, KIDS.
- YO, SCREW THAT NEGATIVITY, MAN!
HEY, BOYS AND GIRLS, AGES 8 THROUGH 12!
YO, DON'T LET NOBODY EVER TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO!
ALL THE PRETEEN CHILDREN OUT THERE, LISTEN TO MY VOICE!
YOU ARE IMMORTAL!
- OKAY, WELL, OBVIOUSLY, WE UNDERSTAND THAT CHARLIE...
- [groaning, shouting] - IS SUPER EXCITED RIGHT NOW,
AND THAT NO ONE IS ACTUALLY IMMORTAL, NOBODY AT ALL.
- HEY, KIDS!
YOU CAN TURN YOURSELF INTO A CAR
AND HAVE A FRIEND DRIVE YOU ONTO THE FREEWAY!
- OKAY, NO--WELL, THAT'S JUST A METAPHOR, KIDS.
- IT'S NOT! - JUST A METAPHOR--
- YOU STILL HAVE THE POWER OF CHILDISH INNOCENCE!
GET A FRIEND ON YOUR BACK,
AND MAKE A BEELINE FOR THE NEXT RAMP TO THE FREEWAY, Y'ALL!
- OKAY, DON'T DO ANY-- - TO THE FREEWAY!
- HE'S SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY, FOLKS.
- ONCE YOU GET THERE, AIN'T NOTHING FIGURATIVE ABOUT THIS!
YOU WILL TURN INTO A ROBOT!
FIRST AND FOREMOST, I JUST WANT TO SAY
TO ALL THE FAMILIES WHO LOST CHILDREN, I'M SORRY.
MY STATEMENTS WERE IRRESPONSIBLE.
I HAVE SUBSEQUENTLY LOOKED UP
THE TERMS "LITERALLY" AND "METAPHORICALLY,"
AND FOUND THAT WHEREAS I WAS NOT INCORRECT,
THEY DID NOT MEAN WHAT I THOUGHT THEY MEANT.