As someone born during the Cold War but too young to remember it, the notion of a real,
persistent threat of nuclear annihilation is hard to imagine.
It’s one of the reasons I wanted to come here.
Playing a video game makes it easy to abstract nuclear war.
It’s less easy when you’re standing in a facility designed for
the purpose of waging it.
But I don’t want to lean too heavily on the doom and gloom here.
Most of what I saw was just plain cool.
My guide Dmytro, who had also driven me the three hours to the base from Kiev, wasted
no time in showing me the ins and outs of this monument to mutually assured destruction.
As you see, it's a double-door system.
The doors are very heavy.
An officer entering this place would dial a special code.
Here is a so-called decompression room, to suspend the shockwave of a nearby atomic strike.
It's the same system as in atomic submarines.
So, come inside.
I was immediately struck by how clean everything was, despite the equipment looking like it
was from the 80s or earlier.
As it turns out, the base was only decommissioned in 2000 and opened as a museum a year later.
This first room was actually the top of a structure suspended inside of a silo 45 meters
tall.
So here are emergency exit holes, here and there.
You see the stretchers for possible wounded personnel.
To get to the lower levels of the structure, we got in the world’s tiniest elevator with
our not-tiny Ukrainian base docent.
Is there a separate elevator for freight or something?
No, it's the only one.
Wow.
Okay, so this compartment is for the personnel after they've destroyed the whole world.
So actually it's never been used because this was designed to spend time after they pushed
the button.
It was designed for 45 days.
They used to have here everything needed like food in the fridge, mostly canned food, some
drugs and medicines here.
They used to have a radio and television set but what's the use after everyone died?
Here is the safe for pistols, maybe to kill themselves, you know?
Because I would.
If I were here after everyone outside is dead and I am here for 45 days, what's the point?
Samovar, it's Russian, to make some tea.
This yellow thing has 45 plates.
Each plate produces oxygen for one day.
Here, as you see, is a toilet, water, but no shower.
That's a long 45 days.
Yeah.
The telephone is working.
Oh wow.
You can call Mr. Putin, if you like.
How does it feel after you destroyed the world?
[laughing]
The living quarters were cool, but I was not prepared for what came next.
Watch your head here.
I'm filming.
Oh wow.
This is the main room, the room to destroy the world.
This is your seat.
Take a seat, please.
First of all, they would get the codes from Moscow on those screens.
And then it takes two officers--they used to have keys to put into those keyholes--and
turn it right at the same time.
You've probably seen in American movies the infamous "red button," right?
In reality, it's a gray one, this one.
So, I will give you a countdown, and then, at the same time, with our lovely guide, you
will press the button and you will see what is happening.
Okay?
Okay.
Five, four, three, two, one, and...
[alarm sounds]
Now, what do we have here?
The red sign is showing the real wartime regime is on.
This white one says that it's fully ready.
This green one says that the launch has started.
And this one says that the launch is accomplished.
So now you can start counting twenty-two minutes and you nuked Washington D.C.
Goodbye, America.
[laughing]
Sorry, everyone.
After destroying America, we came to a room that housed the ventilation system, where
I got to flip even more switches.
See what happens.
Yeah, another one.
And the third one.
One, two, three.
[ventilation fans humming]
By this point, I had totally lost my sense
of direction and depth.
So you can imagine my surprise when I found, on the other side of this door
the ending to Portal 2.
Topside sat entrances to other bunkers, along with radio equipment and a bunch of colossal
vehicles like missile transports, weird looking fuel trucks, fire trucks, and this monster.
And that would put the missile vertically into the silo.
It was filled with liquid concrete.
But some of them, I heard, are used by farmers somewhere in Ukraine
to store some vegetables? I don't know.
This vehicle’s design was particularly chilling, featuring redundant drivers in case one became…
incapacitated.
We have just been there, under the ground.
So this is the top of the control center.
Those are the emergency exits, emergency holes.
Dmytro then explained a bit about the base's defenses.
If you, by some miracle, cross the barbed wire and high voltage, then possibly a sentinel
from that green tower will shoot you down with a sniper rifle.
If not, then you will be killed by the tanks.
This one is a T-80, and it's still being used by the Ukrainian army in the east now.
Some of them are kept here in the Ukrainian army, for our own needs, unfortunately.
Then it was time for the big guns.
The really big guns.
This is a "Voevoda" missile, or "SS-18," or "Satan."
This is actually a spaceship because it goes into outer space.
It has one, two, three, four stages, and the top has the nuclear warheads.
It has five real ones and ten fake ones in order to confuse anti-rocket systems.
The range is up to 15,000 kilometers, so literally anywhere in the world.
Only here, only in this museum, because now it's in service in the Russian army, but they
don't show it.
This is one of the most powerful rockets in the nowadays Ukrainian army, called "Tochka-U."
Unfortunately, some say it was used during the conflict in the east now, once or twice.
And here are different types of rockets in use on Ukrainian fighter jets.
Here we have the laser navigation system.
That green missile was on Cuba during the crisis.
These are different types of rocket engines.
Most of them were produced in Ukraine.
This is called Iron Maiden, just like the famous band.
I have to show it to Bruce Dickinson. Or Steve Harris.
I'll bet he doesn't know about it.
The base also contained a museum in the former barracks featuring a model of what was actually
going on in the silo we were in.
What are the rest of the floors?
Are those computers?
Yeah, power systems and other stuff.
As well as a Satan missile in its silo, taking up just as much space.
The museum also housed small vehicles, distressing maps of dozens of other facilities
just like ours.
This area was full of silos.
And some of the weirdest wedding photos I’ve ever seen.
Dmytro, what's the story with the wedding?
That couple just came here, brought by a tourist company, to make a photo session for a wedding.
And it's a real wedding.
It's not a fake one.
One section showcased many of the weapons currently produced in Ukraine, which are no
doubt being put to use in the eastern part of the country.
Even at a place dedicated to the follies of the past, we were unfortunately reminded of
the present day.
War, it seems, never changes.
On our way out, I tried to get a handle on the Ukrainian perspective of having a museum
like this hanging around.
We are glad we have such a museum because it's really unique.
But we are not very pleased that it was such a thing in our history.
But you know, it sort of saddens me because Ukraine has a lot more to show to foreigners.
This is the task for us, to promote Ukraine abroad properly, to show that we have a lot
of things to see.
And I hope that Ukraine will be a place for tourism.
From my perspective, it already is.
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