If you're a mom, this is the video for you. It's actually the first of two videos that
I'm going to be filming just for you on how to get back out there and manage
dating if you are a single mom.
Hey, this is Mark from Make Him Yours. I'll see you in just a second.
[Music playing]
if you're a single mom and you're looking to get back out there into the dating world,
then this is the video for you. I'm going to do two videos on this, and this first
one is going to particularly focus on getting back out there.
So just starting up, getting your head right and getting back out there
to meet men. In this video, I'm going to give you seven steps that I use for
all my clients who are single moms to get them back out there.
Now, the very first one is simply this. It's identify your negative beliefs and
don't let them stop you. So this is the biggest hurdle for you as a single mum
is your mind. You've got to understand that your mind is the biggest thing that
will hold you back in this. Beliefs like men don't want a woman who's a single
mum or I don't have time to date because I'm a single mum will hold you back more
than any practical thing ever could.
There are lots of men out there who would love to date a single mum.
Men who are time poor men who are single dads themselves, men who just
are happy and would love to date a woman with kids. They're all out there,
so you've got to get rid of that belief right now because that will stop you and it will
come across to men in your communication.
On some level, you almost won't want to admit that you're a mum because you'll
think that the men won't want you because of it. So get rid of that belief right now
and the belief about time, will all get to that in just a moment.
The second thing you got to do is make yourself feel great. Get some new clothes.
The ones you wear around your kids probably aren't going to work.
Get some new clothes, make yourself feel great, get a bit of a makeover if it's
what you've got gotta do. Whatever it is, do things that make you feel great and
confident within yourself.
The third thing is realize it's okay to make time for yourself. If you're a mum, I know
so many moms who are the most beautiful, empathic giving people
and then give and give and give until they've got nothing left.
What sort of role model does that set for your sons?
What sort of example does that demonstrate for your daughters
to just give and give and give until there's nothing left? That's what
they're going to do when they grow up as well.
You've got to make time for yourself. Not only is it going to recharge you,
but you're going to set the most wonderful example in the world for
your kids. Make time for yourself and realize that it's perfectly okay
to do so, and that your kids are going to respect you for it and have a great
example as a result of it.
Number four is actually make the time for yourself. So now you've realized
that it's okay to make time, you have to go and make time.
Imagine if you met a man who was just right for you.
Would you make time for him? Would you set aside afternoons or evenings
or time on the weekend? Would you find some time somewhere
if it was the right guy?
Of course you would. So doesn't it also make sense to set aside some time
to give yourself the opportunity to meet that person? You don't want
to rely on randomly stumbling across him and then have to make the time
for him. You want to already be in the habit of making time.
So now you know it's okay to make time for yourself, make some time
for yourself to do social activities, to meet people, whatever it is,
schedule time into your schedule that's going to be you time.
Number five is figuring out how you can meet people.
So one of the things moms struggle with the most that I worked through
with clients is where the hell do I meet men? My friends encompass
a few single mothers themselves or married mothers and that's pretty
much my social circle. Now, notice I said people, not even men.
You want to get out there and meet people. When you're out there meeting
people and you're growing your social circle, you're naturally going to meet
men. So figured out the ways you're going to do it. I have every single
mom that comes to me write a list of 10 ways that she can get out there
and meet people. So whether it's a new hobby, whether it's getting out
there to a bar, or even a club once a week, whether it's going to learn
a new activity like dancing, it can be anything at all but figure out
10 ways that you can potentially meet people, including men, and
then use that time you made to go and do some of them.
The sixth thing is make sure you let your kids know.
So one thing you're going to experience as you start to make time for yourself
because your kids are not going to be too used to it.
They're going to be a little resistant. They're going to wonder why they're
not getting all of your attention right now, and they might even give you a
little guilt trip for it. You have to explain to them what you're doing in words
that they will understand. So you know, just like you have friends and you like
spending time with your friends, mommy has to make time for her
friends as well. Or it just like you like playing games.
Mommy has to go out and make time for her to have fun as well.
Does that make sense? And the kids are going to understand it
when you put it in their language and they're going to respect you
for it and grow up as self-respecting adults who do the same in their own
lives. And look, the final thing is very, very simple. It's simply make sure if
you're online dating that you do mention your kids. It's not going
to be a big part of your profile at all. But make sure you have a sentence
or two in there so that you're being completely honest and upfront.
You're not making it the focus. It doesn't define you, but it is part
of your profile, so that men who meet you will know that you're a mom.
All right, so as a single mom, these are the things you want to remember.
Seven steps.
Number one, identify and eliminate your negative beliefs.
You want to quash any beliefs that say you don't have time or that men
don't want a single mum. They absolutely do, and there are lots
of men out there who would love to date you as a single mom.
Number two, make yourself feel great to get back out there.
Whether it's hair, fitness, makeover, new clothes, wardrobe, make yourself
feel great and do stuff that will give you confidence to get back out there.
Number three, realize that it's okay to make time for you. Not only does
it set a great example for your kids, but it allows you to recharge who
you are and come back and even stronger, more attractive, better mom.
Number four, make the time. Make the time. You'd make it for a guy
if he was already in your life. So make it before he's in your life.
Number five, figure out a way to meet people, not even necessarily
men, but just figure out 10 ways to meet people and use the time
you've created to meet those people.
Number six, let your kids know. Remember, your kids are probably
going to have some resistance initially to this. So explain in their own words
in their own worlds what you're doing, why you're doing it, and what's going on,
and they're going to understand and respect you for it.
And number seven, make sure you mentioned your kids and your online
dating profile. It's important that men you meet know that that's a part of
who you are, but that it doesn't define who you are.
Thank you so much for watching! I really hope you enjoyed the video.
Comments, questions, anything you want to ask below? I have a few
moms as clients and I absolutely love working with them.
So if you have other questions as well, don't forget you can book in
a session at makehimyours.com.au/coaching
and we can create a plan tailored to you. Hit the thumbs up, subscribe,
hit the bell and leave a comment. Like I say, I want to hear your questions,
comments, thoughts. I shall see very soon in the next video.