Transcriber: Zsuzsa Viola Reviewer: Tanya Cushman
Hi, everybody.
I'm really excited to be here today
and grateful to speak to you all
about something that I'm so passionate about.
I'm going to speak to you today about domestic sex trafficking.
This is something I hold very dear -
being a survivor of domestic sex trafficking myself.
This is something I'm extremely passionate about,
and I've dedicated my life to bringing awareness
to this ever-growing issue.
So today, what I want to focus on in the time that I have
is I'd like to define domestic sex trafficking for you.
I want to paint a picture of what human trafficking looks like
in an Ontario context
and walk you through the stages of commercial exploitation
to give you an idea of what this really looks like.
Media and movies portray human trafficking to look one way,
and it looks completely different than that.
Then I want to end by talking about how we can all ignite change.
I'm a huge believer that education is power,
and I often wonder
if somebody came into my high school when I was growing up,
would this have happened to me
or would I have been able to identify those red flags before it was too late?
I'm not sure,
but I think I would have been equipped with a lot more information
that would have helped me when this started to happen to me.
I'm going to jump right in, and I really want to start by defining those words:
domestic sex trafficking.
I'm going to differentiate between domestic and international
so we can understand that they look completely different.
The best way to differentiate between the two
is to think of it the exact way you would if you walked into an airport.
Really, you have two choices.
You can take a domestic flight or an international flight.
If you take an international flight,
it means you get on that plane in one country
and you land in a completely different country.
if you take a domestic flight,
you're getting on that plane in one country
and you land in the exact same country.
It means the same thing when it comes to human trafficking.
International human trafficking
means you're from one country and brought to another country
for the purpose of exploitation or the purpose of trafficking.
Domestic human trafficking means you are from one country.
Either born and raised
or have come to this country for whatever reason -
nothing to do with trafficking.
Call this country your home
and then are trafficked within that country.
The majority of human trafficking that occurs in Canada
is domestic sex trafficking.
The UN's stat says that 71% of all trafficking that occurs in Canada
is domestic sex trafficking.
That means this is happening to our young people.
This is happening to people in your schools,
in your communities, in your neighborhoods.
It is not an issue that is happening somewhere else;
it is happening to people here that call Canada their home.
Next, I really want to give you that definition of what human trafficking is.
Human trafficking is an umbrella term -
there's many forms of human trafficking -
but, again, today I'm only talking about domestic sex trafficking.
The reason being is that's my area of expertise,
and that's the majority of what we see here in Canada.
So the UN has a definition for human trafficking,
the Criminal Code has a definition for human trafficking -
they're very long, they're wordy, they're hard to remember.
I have a cheating definition -
it's super easy to remember, so I use it all the time.
There's four elements that have to be present
in order for human trafficking to exist.
If you have these four elements, then you have human trafficking.
So there needs to be force, there needs to be fraud,
there needs to be coercion,
and it all needs to be facilitated by a third party or a group of people -
so somebody behind the scenes doing it to you and profiting from you.
Force, fraud, coercion, facilitated by a third party -
that is the definition of human trafficking.
If all those elements are present, then you have human trafficking.
So now that we understand
what human trafficking is, by the definition,
I really want to paint a picture for you of what it actually looks like
because what I said when I first walked in here
is that movies and media portray human trafficking to look one way
and they look completely different.
The education that I got growing up around what human trafficking was
was from movies.
And I was taught wrong.
I'm going to walk you through the stages of commercial exploitation.
This chart was developed by listening to survivors' stories.
This is how it happens.
Every single young person I have ever worked with
has been brought through these stages.
This is a thought-out psychological process
that people are brought through
in order for somebody to have control and manipulation over.
So I'm going to walk you through stage by stage.
The first stage is the luring stage.
In this stage,
this is when your trafficker begins to assess your vulnerabilities.
So somebody isn't just pointing out somebody in a crowd,
being like "I'm going to traffic this person."
It is thought out.
That's what that luring process is for.
In this luring process,
your trafficker is going to begin to assess your vulnerabilities.
He's looking for somebody who's vulnerable.
He's looking for somebody
who has both individual risk factors and societal and systemic risk factors.
He is going to begin to test the waters to figure out these vulnerabilities.
He's going to put feelers out.
He's going to see if you will be able to buy what he's selling.
He does this by asking you a million questions.
It does not feel like you're being interrogated.
It does not feel like you're being interviewed.
It feels incredibly, incredibly special
that for once somebody has taken time out of their life
and asked you about yours.
For once, somebody stopped and noticed you were struggling
and asked you about it.
He's going to ask you about your life.
He's going to ask you about your family, your friends,
and ask you about your hopes and dreams for the future,
the struggles you've been through.
And he's going to listen to everything.
What he's doing in this moment
is he's gathering information he's later going to use against you,
but in that moment, it feels incredibly good.
So you're going to tell them anything and everything.
The other thing they do in this stage
is they're going to look at every single one of your basic needs
that are not being met,
and very quickly, they're going to begin to meet them.
So it moves to that next stage,
that grooming and gaming stage also known as the honeymoon stage.
So they are going to begin to meet every single one of your basic needs.
If you told them in that luring stage
that you didn't feel safe at home or you didn't have a safe place to stay,
they're going to offer you a safe place to stay.
They're going to take you shopping.
They're going to get your hair done, your nails done.
They're going to wine and dine you.
They're going to shower you with compliments,
boost your self-esteem, boost your self-worth.
They're going to begin to introduce you to all their friends.
They're going to make you feel a part of something,
that sense of belonging, that sense of family.
They're going to tell you things like they're going to keep you safe,
that they're never going to let anybody hurt you again.
No matter what, they're going to be there for you.
They're continuing to ask you questions and be interested in your life
during this stage as well.
85% of the young people I work with
identified their trafficker to be their boyfriend or their girlfriend.
So we also know it's incredibly, incredibly relational,
even that other 15% is usually quite relational.
It's usually a companionship or a friendship
or, in fact, a family member that's doing it to you.
If drugs are involved in this stage, they'll be given to you freely,
no questions asked.
If they're not involved, they might keep it that way.
Or they could introduce them in a very playful way:
"Whatever you need, I've got for you."
If you are in that loving relationship,
it feels as if you have met your dream man.
It feels as if you have hit the jackpot,
as if finally your luck has turned around.
I cannot stress enough
that in this stage,
it feels as if this is the best your life has ever been.
Even if your life was not that bad before,
they took the time in that luring stage
to get to know everything that was lacking in your life.
And now they're providing it for you.
So this feels as if this is the best your life has ever been.
There is little to no red flags in this stage.
The biggest red flag is it is too good to be true,
and who wants to believe that this is too good to be true
if nobody has ever treated you this way before?
The red flags don't come in until the next stage.
So the next stage is the coercion and manipulation stage.
This is when your trafficker begins to give you all that love and affection -
and then pulls it all away.
Then gives you all that love and attention -
and then pulls it all away.
It's like you're walking on eggshells.
You're wondering,
is he going to have a good day today or a bad day?
You actually start to think in your mind,
"What did I do wrong?
I must have done something wrong.
Because I know he's capable of treating me better
than anybody has ever treated me before.
So I must have done something."
You actually start to think in your mind -
you start to feel indebted in the relationship:
"He's done so much for me in this relationship,
what have I done to contribute?"
You might actually start to think things in your mind
you can offer in that relationship.
But before you can do that,
he's going to start to ask you to do things,
He's going to ask you to do things you're probably not comfortable doing.
Or he'll ask you to do things
that you talked about in the luring stage
that you said you would never do.
Those are things that you held on to.
Those are your morals and your values -
that you were never willing to step out of that comfort zone.
He's now going to ask you again, in this coercion-manipulation stage.
You're going to be much more likely to say yes
because you just want it to go back to that honeymoon stage.
You want him to treat you in a way
that you know he's capable of treating you,
which is better than anybody has ever treated you before.
So as soon as you start to do those things,
he's going to give you all that love and attention back.
Then he's going to pull it away again,
and he'll ask you to do something else.
As soon as you do it,
he's going to give you all that love and affection back.
He's breaking down your boundaries, morals, and values,
and then he's rewarding you for them.
He could ask you to do things that are sexual or not sexual.
If they're not sexual,
they might ask you to do things like hold drugs for them, lie for them,
or look out while they commit a crime or rob somebody.
And immediately after,
they give you the love and attention back.
Or it could be sexual.
They start to desensitize you to certain sexual acts,
prepare you for the sex trade.
So they might ask you
to send that naked picture they've been begging you for.
They might ask you to make a video with them
or have sex with one of their friends.
Immediately after, they give you the love and affection back -
it goes back to that honeymoon stage -
and then they pull it all the way again.
This is an incredibly confusing time.
The other thing they're doing in this stage
is they might do something called "conditioning,"
where they have sex with you and shortly after take you shopping,
or they have sex with you
and then take you to get your hair or nails done.
Then that slowly gets replaced by cash.
They'll have sex with you, then throw you 60 bucks and say,
"Oh, baby, that's amazing. You're so good at that.
Go treat yourself, do something nice for yourself."
Your brain actually starts to associate sex with a reward, sex with money.
The last thing they do in this stage is they're going to build a wedge
between you and anybody who's healthy in your life.
So they'll pick fights with your friends.
They are going to blow up stories
that you maybe told them way back in the luring stage
that's something that your family or loved one did you that really hurt you.
They're going to blow it up and amplify that.
They want to build that wedge.
They want when something goes wrong in your life
that the first person that you call is them.
They want you to be a 100% dependent on them.
I used to work with a young woman
whose trafficker actually used to go into her phone
and delete messages from loved ones who were reaching out.
She actually started to believe nobody else cared about her,
that he was the only one that loved her,
he was the only one that she could depend on.
This is when he has you exactly where they want you.
Now they bring up the idea of working in the sex trade.
Then it moves to that full-on exploitation stage.
They bring up that idea of working in the sex trade
in a variety of different ways,
but it's usually either extremely direct or the complete opposite -
incredibly, incredibly insidious.
So if it's direct, he'll literally say,
"You know all I've done for you -
the clothes I bought you,
the condo you've been staying in, the drugs?
It's actually not free.
You owe me money,
and this is how you're going to pay me back.
And if you don't do it,
I'm not going to love you, I'm not going to be there for you,
I'm not going to take care of you.
I'll circulate that video we made."
He's got all the ammo he needs to use against you
to get you to take your first trick.
And once you do, then again,
he's got even more ammo to keep you there.
If he goes the insidious route, what he's going to do
is he'll bring up the idea of working in the sex trade
by playing off information he gained from you in the luring stage.
Maybe in that luring stage, you told him
that your dream for the future
was to one day create your own loving, supportive family.
Maybe you told him growing up you never had that,
and that was your dream.
You wanted to get married and buy a house and have kids
and really create that loving supportive family.
He's going to say something to you like, "You know that life you want to have,
you know that wedding you want, that house you want, those kids you want?
I love you so much, and I don't want to wait any longer.
I can't picture my life without you.
I got this crazy idea.
We'll make stacks of cash.
We'll only have to do it for a couple of months.
No matter what, I'm going to love you and be there for you."
Of course, you're going to say yes.
He just sold you a dream,
your exact dream that you told him way back in the luring stage.
This is what human trafficking looks like.
It does not look like the movies.
You're not kidnapped; you're not moved from place to place;
you're not locked in a room; you're not beaten every day.
This is what it looks like.
I want to touch on why it's not as simple as asking somebody to leave -
because it is horrific.
Just because you believe somebody loves you
doesn't mean you don't have to do things you never thought you'd do.
You have absolutely no control.
I can tell you from my experience
my traffickers had taken all control from me.
I hated every minute of it.
I had no idea who was coming to my hotel room door,
and I had no idea what services I was expected to provide.
I hated every minute of it.
It was the most traumatic and horrific experience of my life,
but as crazy as it sounds,
my life was still better than before I had met them.
I had a roof over my head, I had food in my stomach,
I wasn't withdrawing on the streets in the freezing cold.
I would have done whatever it took to keep it there.
And I would have never walked out of that hotel room door.
Physically, I could have.
I was not locked up.
I was not tied in a room.
My pimps were not there 24/7.
I could have opened my hotel room door,
I could have walked out, and I could have asked for help -
I never would have.
There are three reasons I wouldn't have left,
and after working with young people, for years now, in similar situations,
these are the three reasons why people don't just leave.
The first is the obvious: the fear.
I was afraid of them.
There was some physical violence in my situation,
and all I could think was if I walk out, what are they going to do to me?
That fear was real.
More so than that, though, was the fear of the unknown.
If I walk out this door, where am I going to go?
Where am I going to get my next meal?
Where am I going to sleep? get my fix?
Who is ever going to love me after this?
Who is ever going to take care of me?
That was much scarier than they were,
and the final reason I didn't leave
was the psychological hold that they had on me -
the trauma bond.
It is unbelievable how strong that is.
They picked me up off the ground when everybody else had given up on me.
They were there for me when nobody else was.
They treated me better than anybody had ever treated me before.
The best way I can explain that trauma bond -
I'll tell you a very short story.
It happened to me after I took my very first trick.
One of my pimps came in the room and sat down on the bed beside me.
He looked at me in the eyes, and it was so genuine.
Every time I tell this story, I can in fact still picture the moment,
and it still feels just as genuine.
Logically, I know it's not, but that's how strong it was in that moment.
He sat there and looked at me in the eyes, and he said,
"Carly, I am so proud of you."
He said it because I told him, way back in the luring stage,
that the only thing I'd ever wanted to hear growing up
is that somebody was proud of me.
Now, he said it.
Didn't matter anymore who was proud of me or what they were proud of me for -
somebody was finally proud of me.
I was finally good at something.
I was going to do whatever it took to hear that over and over and over again.
This is what human trafficking looks like.
So really quickly, just to end, what can everybody do today?
Starting today, how can we ignite change?
And it's simple.
We need to educate others.
You need to educate yourself and educate others
on what you've heard today.
Continue to look into what human trafficking really looks like.
Know the signs.
Know how to identify who might be being trafficked.
Know where the resources are in your community
and what to do if you identify somebody who could be being trafficked.
You need to advocate.
You need to advocate for change.
You need to advocate for more resources.
And you need to advocate for more funding specialized in human trafficking.
And lastly, we need to - I'm going to put these two together -
but we need to know consent and we need to empower youth.
Get people to come and talk in your schools
about what human trafficking is,
talk about the true definition of consent.
We were taught wrong growing up.
You need to let people know
that consent has certain elements that have to be present.
It must be clear, it must be coherent,
it must be willing, and it must be ongoing.
And again, empower our youth.
Give them more socioeconomic opportunities.
In fact, boost their self-esteem and boost their self-worth.
If I can leave you with one thing today,
it's that if a young person is empowered,
it is incredibly difficult to traffic them.
Thank you.
(Applause)