-Chelsea Handler. Come on, you can't beat an audience, right?
-No, no, you cannot beat an audience, Jimmy.
-Thank you for being here in person.
I appreciate it. -Well, I missed you.
Desperately. No, no, I don't miss you actively
'cause we're here together now. -Yeah.
-But I missed you during COVID, but I got to see you
a lot during COVID. -You were very nice to me.
You Zoomed in a few times from your home.
And I appreciate that. -I was skiing.
I was skiing in Whistler when I was doing your show.
So I would come in from the ski mountain.
You know, take my pants down for the Zoom
and then just have my ski top on the top.
[ Laughter ]
-I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Yeah.
-I like to do all my Zooms pants-less just to get
men back for what they've done. You know what I mean?
[ Laughter ]
-I heard that you're on a new health kick.
Explain this to me. -Well, it's not a health kick.
I'm doing a 30-day detox from alcohol
because someone called in from my podcast.
And she said she was having trouble kind of detoxing
and I said I would do it in solidarity with her.
-Oh. -But I did a 30-day cannabis
detox also, so now it's 30 days of cannabis detox
and a 30-day alcohol detox, two separate months.
So I've lost two months of my life due to this podcast.
[ Laughter ] And I'm over it. I'm over it.
I can't wait to have -- And my friend's like, "If you do
30 days, you're gonna feel so good, you're gonna go a year."
I'm like, "No, I won't."
-Wow. [ Laughter ]
But I love that you do that to your fans.
I mean, I love the podcast.
"Dear Chelsea" is the podcast, and it's fantastic.
If you love podcasts and you love Chelsea --
-I give out advice to people who actually want advice from me.
I mean, I've been giving out unsolicited advice
a lot for a long time. [ Laughter ]
-So this is solicited. -This is when people actually
call in and they have real-life problems
or really silly problems, but either way, you know,
I like to encourage people to be a little bit braver,
a little bit stronger, like a big sister who's like,
"Go out and do that. Leave that job.
Leave that relationship.
Do whatever you need to make yourself
like a little bit more successful and confident."
-Yeah, I love that. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's one of the reasons why we love you.
But I think you're just brutally honest.
You're always honest. and that's the best thing
you can do because then -- clearly, you didn't even lie
when we played the game where you can lie.
-No, I mean -- and you know how I feel about games.
-No, we didn't have to get into it.
-No, I'll get into it. I can't stand playing games.
-I know you don't like them. I know. But I like to watch you.
-But you force me. -I don't force you.
You could say no. -Oh, can I?
Can I say no? [ Laughter ]
-We probably wouldn't book you on the show if you said no.
[ Laughter ]
Of course, you can do whatever you want on the show,
but I love watching you play a game
'cause you don't like playing the game.
That makes it more fun to watch.
-Yeah, it's fun to watch you watching me
struggle playing a game. [ Laughter ]
-Hey, I follow you on the Instagram and all that stuff,
and you posted something.
I go, "That was so beautiful."
You said, "I'm finally in love."
-I am! I'm in love! [ Cheers and applause ]
-Buddy.
Hey!
-How cute is that? -Couldn't be cuter.
And, you know, every time you come on we talk about something,
about dating or relationships.
You're in love. -I know, and I have to say,
if I fell in love at the age of 46, you guys,
I have hope for every person in this world.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yes, yes.
It's never -- It's never too -- I was really just kind of like,
men were very discouraging these past couple of years,
especially, you know, straight white men.
And I was like, "Oh, God, who I am going to end up with?"
You know?
And then I had my friend Jo Koy,
who was in my life for a very long time.
He used to be on my old show, "Chelsea Lately."
-Yeah. -And he and I were friends.
And then he kept showing up and showing up and showing up.
And I was like, "Mmm-mm-mmm."
[ Laughter ] And then one day, I just looked
at him and I thought, "Oh, that's my guy."
[ Audience aws ] Yeah.
So he's like my best buddy and then I also, you know,
get to have sex with him. [ Laughter ]
Fun times. So, anyone, if you have a friend in your life
that you think you're not into or not attracted to,
just remember my story and to be open-minded,
because little things can tap you on the shoulder
and then all of a sudden, you see something
through a different lens, and I mean,
I would never talk about a man like this unless I meant it.
-I love it, buddy. I'm so happy for you.
[ Applause ]
And he's a brilliant comedian too, so that must be so fun.
-And I'm pregnant.
No. [ Laughter ]
I'm not pregnant. I'm not pregnant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. -See?
You know how the play the game.
I want to talk about your stand-up tour,
"Vaccinated and Horny Tour."
The name got a laugh every time I said it.
You always think of good titles.
You're at the Beacon Theatre.
-I'm playing two shows at the Beacon this weekend.
I'm doing Albany, Boston -- I'm going all over to the country.
And I'm announcing more dates soon,
and it's been so fun to be on the road.
-What's it like? -Well, it's just like this.
I mean, there is nothing that replaces a live audience.
So it's great. [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah.
-We need it. We need it. Thank you for doing this.
-Well, you're welcome, Jimmy. The whole world is welcome.
[ Laughter ] -I really mean it.
Honestly, we needed to laugh. We need something to laugh at.
-Yeah. We do, and it's so nice to be a reason
that people -- you know, to bring people back together,
many for the first time in like a year or two.
And so I named the tour "Vaccinated and Horny" 'cause
that's how a lot of single people were feeling,
and married people, quite frankly,
after the thick of COVID.
Hopefully we're through the thick of it.
And then, so I'm still vaccinated and I'm still horny,
just now for one person instead of the world.
-There you go, yeah. [ Laughter ]
You're doing a very cool thing that I thought was interesting
for flight attendants. -Yes, yes, yes.
Flight attendants, you guys.
We have to respect our flight attendants. I was --
[ Cheers and applause ] -Absolutely we have to.
What is going on?
-Oh, I don't know, but I got on my first flight in a long time
a couple months ago, and the announcement
that the captain had to make over the loudspeaker
was so embarrassing to society.
He's like, "Okay, everyone, please make sure your masks
are over your nose, and when you take a bite of food,
you can lower your mask.
And then when you're done chewing,
put your mask again over your nose.
Please do not hit or touch the flight attendants."
And I was just devastated for them because I just thought,
"What have we come to that we can't" --
And these poor people that become flight attendants,
they're just, you know, trying to have a nice job
where they can travel to fun places.
Now they have to take jiu-jitsu
and duct-tape people to their seats?
[ Laughter ] -It's insane.
-I mean, what kind of idiot, moron gets on a plane
and is like, "I won't do it. I won't wear a mask."
You know, as they're taping you to your seat,
what are you thinking? [ Laughter ]
You're like, "Oh, my God, I can't wait
till my granddaughter sees this video."
-I mean, exactly right. But here's what you do.
You step in and you go, "Hey, if you're a flight attendant,
DM me and I'll give you free tickets to my show."
-Yeah, yeah. So we have a lot of flight attendants
coming to all my shows.
The Beacon especially this weekend, I think we have
100 flying in from all different places all over the world.
So yeah, we helped -- If you're a flight attendant
and you didn't get a ticket, it's because we were bombarded.
I'm announcing new dates soon
and we'll try and get you in the second round.
But we are -- Yeah, flight attendants,
we've got to give our love to them.
Absolutely. [ Cheers and applause ]
-I got to tell you, every time you come on,
you're the most fun person.
We love you. Chelsea Handler, everybody.
Get tickets for "Vaccinated and Horny Tour"
at chelseahandler.com.