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Damon here with NLP Gym values and criteria elicitation before i get into
that if you haven't already please click subscribe to this YouTube channel so you
can get these videos on a regular basis values as far back as Friedrich Nietzsche
rather i should say Friedrich Nietzsche the philosopher was one of the first people
to start talking about values and really putting attention on on what you value
and especially during the human potential movement and the nineteen
seventies values became very important and help ed took it a step further and
started looking at well how do you know when you have the value that you value
and so that's what the criteria part comes in
once again I have an assistant
Natasha and she's going to help demonstrate value solicitation and
criteria elicitation and a really cool thing about natasha is she has no NLP
training so do you have any idea what I'm talking about
somehow I don't feel good so she's never done this process before which can make
this a lot of fun and it's also not my god is she staged and she's going to
just give me the answers I want her to give me you'll get to see what it's like
when you're doing a real value solicitation and criteria elicitation so
as you
is there anything that you want
those things
ok so just pick something you want and it doesn't have to be
it could be something very trivial it could be something rather it can be very
materialistic it doesn't matter we can pretty much work with almost anything
ok so what is it
uh-huh to be successful in my career
okay so she's she wants to be successful in a career which success is actually a
value in itself but we can explore this a little bit further
so if you are successful in your career what would that do for you
it would make me feel good about myself
it would give me the financial means to do what I want to do and make me feel
like I achieve something in life so she actually gave us two values and she gave
criteria the two values was to feel good about herself and to achieve and then
the criteria was the financial stability stability is a value the financial part
is more criteria so I if we if we look at the stability part and we looked at
the achievement part and feel good about yourself
pardon which one is most important to you if you can only have one feel good
feel good about yourself
ok and what's important about feeling good about yourself
it makes me happy makes it feel like I can do anything I want yeah
so once again this is interesting she went to go into a value and then she
went to the criteria
not another normal time when people do that sometimes we'll just go straight
values and in fact that's probably what's going to happen most of the time
so to feel happy is the value to be able to do whatever she wants as a criteria
and happiness is a is a really high value so a lot a lot of times that's as
high as it goes but we're going to keep checking with her and see if there's a
higher logical level value on this
so if you were happy what would that allow you to be to do or to have I don't
feel more free to live the life I want to do things i want so i wouldn't i
wouldn't feel closed off all and feel like I I can't have something I want it
would just make me I feel like it would make me on feel like i have for these
possibilities
so she again to give us a little bit of a mixture but one thing that stood out i
think was to feel free and freedom is a really high value so she's giving us a
few values here that we can work with
so happiness freedom feel good about yourself
if you could only have one which one would you choose happiness happiness
inside of freedom and feeling good about yourself
which one if you can only have one would you choose freedom
so now we know the hierarchy of these values her highest value in this
situation is freedom
this is no happiness and then freedom and then to feel good about ourselves
so this tells us a lot about what drives her decisions especially when it comes
to the context of a career she might have different values depending on what
context we are talking about but these are pretty high level values i'm going
to have to have a sense here i have a sense here that these are probably the
values that drive most of her decisions even context to context
so if I i I've always offer your career and that would give you autonomy and you
have a lot of freedom within that career you
you going to make a good amount of money which would give you is also some
financial freedom and it was something that you could do that would make you
very happy and feel good about yourself with that be something interests you
would be interested in
yeah and you can see her physiology her eyes brightened up when she just hear
those words because i'm using her words and giving them back to her and these
are her values how the words that she represents her values
so if i were to try to study something i could package them in these values and
it would be very hard for her to resist that
and this is what good salespeople do so that's the values part of it
well let's let's say this if if you if you were happy and free and some really
good about yourself what would be important about that
I feel fulfilled
hell yeah ok and fulfillment is another value as well and it might even be
higher than these values here and when I teach transforming yourself
the whole idea behind that workshop is to find those highest values of yours so
that you can leave them and it doesn't take going out and doing something
specific or achieving something to fulfill those values you can do that
right now and when you do that you feel very fulfilled and you also attract a
lot of the things that you value even the material objects and money as well
so we're going to take this more into the criteria and criteria
so what values you're asking what's important about or how r
what does that allow you to do to have to be so that moves us up the logical
levels now we're going to kind of look we're going to take a different slant on
this and look at what
how does she know what you know so criteria questions are usually how do
you know when you have so happiness which is a very high value of yours
how do you know when you have happiness or when you're happy
I feel it right so this is very typical people going to say they just feel it in
sensory experience
what would you see what would you here or would you feel
and I could be a tactile sensation or they could be an internal sensation and
if it's an internal sensation
where is it in your body and what does it feel like ya hear ya
and is it warm or cool yes well it feels so calm balance and so I'm gonna stop
you right there so she says , balance but we don't know what that feels like
because we we have our own feelings of what calm and balanced like so with the
sensation know is that it's warm and doesn't have a
wait - is it heavier that light
huh it's not heavy but it feels like it's like it has a weight but not not
have you like okay because of the movement to it
00
what I was much like a gold lights thank you
so we're really unpacking the Sun modalities here
a gold light and she's talking about the feels like it has some sort of weight
there
these are the same mentality of it but these are also the sensory basics
experience that she has up happiness rather than saying is , in its balance
well those are values she's interpreting that's how she's making meaning of what
we're talking about
but instead we want to know the exact sensations
so are you feeling that right now
two songs yeah so when you start talking about it and you started explaining what
you're feeling a lot of times it starts to happen
so there's also let you know that and I say this a lot of happiness and many
other things or an inside job that you created even though sometimes we think
that external circumstances are creating it
it has to come from us first so let's also talk about freedom so I would you
know if you were free
what I was feeling would you see here are feel so in sensory base experience
how would you know that you're free
have you ever felt free before it's linked to feeding happy
it's not a separate meeting is just sits but freedom and happiness or different
yeah then I just learning what I'm happy you feel free
I don't know so it doesn't have to be a feeling it could actually be something
happening in your environment or something you're doing an awful friend
feel like there are possibilities
I feel
confident and with all ok so more more values so you have you ever done an
activity that felt free or or visit somewhere i had some sort of experience
where you felt free
yeah ok so how did you know that you were free
or is there something that you do that makes you feel free
I think this is a feeling here
I going to explain it
so when you think about an experience where you felt free yeah
what were you doing or what were you seeing and hearing and feeling the exact
situation if ya
if even if it's to private and not like i was with friends
boats at night those on a body was warm
my friend the wind and I was speeding of being open friends and it's got to
explain
so we could take us a little bit further and we can start modeling how exactly
she created this feeling which we don't have time to go into this is not a video
about modeling but you should start to get a sense of what her criteria is 44
feeling free and free freedom is a huge value so you can you could take a very
long time to to really unpack that we could also use so feeling good about
yourself
how do you know when you feel good about yourself
you're all going to let you talk to people and interact and going to get
involved and do things and you feel like whatever you did it would come out
well don't be worrying about things you won't be daunting as well
ok so what we're discovering here is our values and then how she knows when she's
experiencing these values which can be very powerful that you can use in her
own life or if I were trying to persuade her
if I were doing cells and I know how to package with out what it is i'm selling
so people fulfill their values in different ways and how they look at
their values is their criteria and if we assume that are that are everyone shares
are same values and we assume that everyone shares the same criteria how to
get to those values
that's what we run into trouble a lot of times we run into disconnect and how we
don't understand other people so knowing your values will let you know how why
you make the decisions that you make
knowing how you go about fulfilling those values is the criteria and is very
good information to know because a lot of times this is unconscious and we make
decisions unconsciously and we go about trying to fulfill our values
unconsciously and when we don't it becomes very very frustrating
so sometimes we need to change up the criteria sometimes we need to understand
that how we're going about seeking a value isn't going to work
are the value that we are seeking can be done and much better way
so what did you think about this experience as far as feeling the values
as your
describing or entering my questions when you were saying the not scrubbing out
when I was happy to get made me feel like don't want to screw me when using
it
I could feel its in like the feeling here and fill the line and just by
describing it you have to have been access it and then when you access it
you're actually creating that feeling and hopefully
f you understand that you have the the ability to conduct that feeling any time
you want and that's it comes from within not like some sort of stimulus outside
of this makes us happy and free and feeling good about ourselves
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