MAN: And now, conversations with Bert.
BERT: Back to socks.
What is your official sock world view?
ANDY SAMBERG: I mean, from my perspective, anyone who has a
problem with socks needs to grow up.
It's been a long time coming.
Socks are here to stay.
BERT: Yes.
ANDY SAMBERG: And people that are anti-sock to me, it's
immature, it's shortsighted, short minded.
BERT: You want to hear my official sock world view?
ANDY SAMBERG: I was just about to ask you your official sock
world view?
BERT: I'm not sure we really have time for the whole thing.
But it's basically summarized like this.
I really feel that one day, I'm hoping every sock will
meet its match.
I think we can do it.
I think.
If everybody just really focus really hard, it could happen.
ANDY SAMBERG: You're a romantic.
BERT: I am.
Now Andy, you're a very funny man.
Do you have a favorite dry white toast joke?
ANDY SAMBERG: I could probably make one up.
BERT: Yeah?
And I don't mean to put you on the spot, but.
ANDY SAMBERG: No, here.
Let's think about this for a second.
Three dry, white toasts walk into a room.
The first dry white toast says, hey,
who's got the butter?
BERT: And?
ANDY SAMBERG: Then the second dry, white toast is like, hey,
I want the butter.
BERT: There is a punchline coming, right?
[SLURPING]
BERT: OK
ANDY SAMBERG: The third dry white toast is all, hey, why
do you guys get all the butter?
What am I, dry white toast?
And they're like, yeah.
But then, they like laughed about it and had a party.
BERT: You know, Andy.
You're the funny guy, but timing is everything.
ANDY SAMBERG: I know.
BERT: Here's a good question for you.
If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you
like to be your companion there?
ANDY SAMBERG: Besides you.
BERT: Well, that's what everybody says.
But let me give you some choices, OK?
A paper clip, a bottle cap, or a pigeon.
ANDY SAMBERG: I mean pigeon.
BERT: That's what I would've said.
ANDY SAMBERG: Yeah.
Pigeon, a, it's alive.
So there's a chance of communication of some sort.
BERT: Right.
ANDY SAMBERG: B, if it's a jerk, I can eat it and live a
little longer.
C, if we get on great and become really close, I could
fashion some sort of note and have it delivered to land.
So I could be rescued.
BERT: Yes, yes, that is--
yes.
I don't know about the second reason.
That's not really a suitable reason.
ANDY SAMBERG: You've never had pigeon jerky?
BERT: Andy, some of my best friends are pigeons.
They might be watching, OK?
ANDY SAMBERG: I apologize.
I couldn't eat the paper clip.
BERT: No, you have a point there.
Andy, I feel like we've gotten really close to one another
during this conversation.
Do you mind if we take a little peek deeper inside the
psyche of Andy Samberg?
ANDY SAMBERG: Sure.
BERT: Then get ready for Bert's brain busters.
Are you ready?
ANDY SAMBERG: Yeah.
BERT: OK.
I'm going to ask you a series of questions.
And you answer them as quickly and as honestly as you can.
OK, here we go.
Andy, what is your favorite three angled shape?
ANDY SAMBERG: Triangle.
BERT: Yes What it--
ANDY SAMBERG: Wait, that's right?
Do you have the answers?
BERT: That one does have a correct answer.
ANDY SAMBERG: OK.
BERT: What are your favorite three foods that start with
the letter b?
ANDY SAMBERG: Bananas, butter, brown sugar.
BERT: What is your favorite number?
ANDY SAMBERG: Eight.
BERT: And why?
ANDY SAMBERG: Because I have a lot of eights in my birthday.
BERT: OK.
Who is your favorite Harold?
ANDY SAMBERG: Harold?
BERT: Harold.
ANDY SAMBERG: Probably Harold from Harold and Maude.
BERT: That's absolutely right.
ANDY SAMBERG: Yes.
BERT: Yes.
I'd love to continue talking cinema with you, but the clock
is ticking.
What can you make out of those paperclips
right there in 20 seconds?
Go.
ANDY SAMBERG: How much time?
BERT: Time check, 15 seconds.
ANDY SAMBERG: Time?
BERT: 10 seconds.
ANDY SAMBERG: Time?
BERT: Eight.
ANDY SAMBERG: Time check.
BERT: OK, what do you have?
Oh, a snake.
Well done.
ANDY SAMBERG: Yeah.
BERT: Yeah, not just any snake either.
ANDY SAMBERG: No.
BERT: No, that looks like a copperhead.
Better put it down before it bites.
ANDY SAMBERG: I didn't know what else to do.
BERT: Very good.
That was well done.
Bravo on Bert's brain busters, Andy Samberg.
ANDY SAMBERG: Thank you very much.
BERT: I want to thank Andy Samberg for joining me today.
The conversation was enlightening, entertaining,
and engaging.
ANDY SAMBERG: Well, thank you.
I want to thank you for thanking me.
BERT: You had to end with the comedy banter, didn't you?
ANDY SAMBERG: I'm sorry, I'm a comedian for a living.