11 Old-School Etiquette Rules UNFAIRLY Considered Offensive!
[0:00:00] Now, some people may consider these old-school
rules to be outdated, unfair, even sexist. Me, I say to hell with the haters. These old-school
etiquette rules are needed in today's day and age and are still relevant.
Starting things off, let's talk about the old-school rule of helping a woman to be seated.
Now, this rule also applies to children, it applies to anyone that needs assistance. And
I think that's the key to this rule - anyone that needs assistance.
And, let's look at the history why women why are they singled out? Because it used to be
especially during the Victorian era, women actually had difficulty getting around because
their clothing was difficult. Not only to put on to take off, but it was also difficult
simply to move around in and around space. So, a gentleman would always understand that
a woman's clothing, hey, she's dressing in a certain way, he would help her to be seated.
Now, in today's day and age, is it practical? Does a woman need our help to be seated? Of
course not. But, why do I still advocate that a gentleman should help a woman to be seated?
For me, it's a sign of respect. All of us have mothers. All of us have had women who
have sacrificed to help us achieve greatness in life.
I think about my mom working three jobs. I think about my aunt working two jobs and allowing
me to live with her while I was growing up. I think about my sisters. I think about my
wife. I think about my daughters. Setting the example of how human beings should treat
other human beings. And, guys, that's what it's about, it’s simply treating other human
beings with respect. Next up, we've got opening doors. Same line
of thought here. It's about showing respect. So, I think that a man should open doors for
women. I think a man should open doors for other men, for children, for anyone that needs
assistance, especially for someone that needs assistance.
When you see someone and they're maybe a little bit out of the way they're ahead of you, but
they've got their arms full. Be the guy that goes out of his way to assist. Look out for
your fellow human beings. And that's really all opening doors whether it be into a building
whether it be into a car, just simply do it out of respect for your fellow human beings.
Next up, let's talk about being honest. Having the courage to give your honest opinion even
when it's not politically correct. Now, a lot of people are going to say let's not ruffle
feathers. Let's not start a fight. Let's not offend anyone. And, yeah, you shouldn't maybe
necessarily talk about religion or politics, that can lead to pretty bad fights.
But, if you understand the art of conversation and you can bring things back. You can dial
them down you can dial them up, what you can have are great conversations. You know social
media isn't the place for conversation. I think a lot of people they try to have their
conversations there and they find that, oh, people get all riled up, people don't listen.
Of course, they don't because it's anonymous people talking to anonymous people behind
their computer screens. But, when you're face-to-face at these holiday
parties, when you're engaging with someone and you're having a heart-to-heart conversation,
what can happen here is it actually you can get people to think. You can start to think
about something and that's the key is you've got to understand the art of conversation.
Being able to punch, to jab, to defend. To be able to go and be open to what this person
has to say and to be able to repeat back to them and understand their point of view. We
do this by being honest, not by hiding behind, yeah, not wanting to offend.
Next up, let's talk about giving up your seat. Should a man always give up a seat for a woman?
I'm a little bit old-school, I think the answer is mostly yes, but it depends on the situation.
I think men though should be aware of what's going on around them and say, hey, you know
those kids over there are about to fall over, I should give up my seat to them.
That woman over there could be pregnant, I should give up my seat to her. That older
guy that can barely stand, I should give up my seat to him. That younger guy that maybe
looks like he just had surgery came in on a walker, I should give up my seat to him.
Look around, be observant. Now, of course, if she's on the other side
of the car, she just came in, you -- if you try to give up your seat on the other side,
by the time you let her know and get her over there, someone's already going to have taken
that seat. So, you got to be aware you got to be practical.
But, I do believe that when men show by example, we get up and we give our seats up, other
men notice this. And this is what it does, it creates a society in which people are nicer
to each other. We lead by example, other people see it and we change society by first improving
and changing ourselves. Next up, let's talk about paying for the meal.
When a man takes a woman out, should he pay for the date? My answer is yes. You should
pay for the date. A little bit old school, but here's the thing is that 80% of women
still believe and still use this as a test to determine if they're going to go out again
with the guy. So, guys, just go ahead, suck it up that first one.
Now do you need to pay the second, third, fourth, fifth? Well, you could make a judgment
call there. Maybe there you want to go Dutch or maybe it can be like, hey, I will pay for
the first date and you pay the second one. Again, kind of encouraging to go out with
her again. The point is is this is something that, yes,
does not logically made -- make sense, but most women are looking at it from, yeah, he
should pay for the first date, if he wants to go out with me again. Again, maybe not
fair, but that's just the way it is. Now, what about when you're out with the guys
where you got a few families that are together having a big meal, they give you one check?
Well, in this case, ask for the check to be split or may be look around. If you're aware
that the family you’re with, they’re, you know, they came out because you invited
them, understand that you should probably foot the bill for this instance.
[0:04:58] If you understand that there's other people
here that they're going to have trouble paying the bill. Maybe someone just lost their job,
maybe throw a little bit in extra and just say, hey, no, don't worry about it, man. You'll
get me next time. I love it when a man can be generous and that's
what I'm always looking for in friends, people that give, not necessarily money, but people
that give of themselves they give of their time.
Now, I'm not talking about having a whole bunch of mooches around you that are going
to you know take advantage of you, but I am saying once especially if it's a one-time
get-together, don't be afraid to actually take care of it.
Next up on this list, asking your girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Basically,
you're asking permission from your future in-laws to join the family. And that's what
I view that some people say, oh, it's sexist that basically it's like he is selling her.
No, it’s not like that. For me, it's simply insurance because I'm
going to be stuck with these people. I'm going to be seeing them at holidays. I'm probably
going to stay with them, you know things get really bad, we may go live with them.
Point being is I want these people on my side. And you genuinely should care for them, get
to know them and want to share this big moment, so they can be part of it. And that's the
thing is it's just simply about bringing them in and about building the relationship.
Next up, let's talk about parties with dress codes. You may read that some people say,
yeah, don't ever throw a party with a dress code because you don't want to put someone
in an uncomfortable situation if they don't have the clothing, they don't own it.
Here's the thing is by having a dress code, you're very clear you actually make it easier
for people to know what to wear to the party especially when it's a nicer party. In addition,
you set the ambience. And, guys, guys can go out and they can rent clothing. They can
borrow from friends. Women, they borrow dresses all the time. The point is when you have a
dress code, you set a mood. And there's nothing wrong with having a party with a dress code.
Saying a prayer before a meal. Now, you may be atheist, but if you're somebody's guest,
if this person is paying the bill, if this person has invited you to the party, then,
yeah, you can actually go through it. Maybe, you don't have to, you know, pray – pray,
do whatever you want to do meditate. But the point being is whoever is hosting this, if
they want to give a prayer, that's all on them.
Now, if you were invited and you find that people here are not very spiritual, they're
not very religious, you don't want to stop everything and say, hey, I need to give a
prayer. I need to bless this food. That's going a little bit beyond. You could may be
speak with the hostess or host about it and see if they would be open to something like
that. Point being is you respect the person that is hosting that party that has put this
together. Bringing the hostess a gift. Now, some people
say, oh, what a suck-up. Oh, that's not necessary. I think it is necessary. When you're visiting
someone's home for the first time, find out you know, okay, do they drink alcohol, maybe
bring them a really nice bottle of whiskey. Bring a wine, put a nice bow on it. And if
they're not into that, then find something else. Bring flowers. Maybe she's really into
olive oils, maybe there's something you can bring from your area.
I live in Wisconsin. We've got, you know, really good maple syrup. You find something
that you can bring and present to the home when you're visiting. This is a small gesture,
but an important gesture I think a lot of people look over and they forget that actually
it's I think it's pretty important. Next up, we've got walking a woman home, walking
her to the bus stop to make sure she gets on safely, driving her home going out of your
way to make sure that she gets to her home safely. Here's the thing is, yes, I know that
men get attacked, but women get attacked a lot more. Make sure that you look out for
other people especially for the ladies in your life.
The next old-school etiquette rule you need to follow, don't interrupt conversations.
And guess what? You’re interrupting your own conversations whenever you're talking
with someone and you feel that phone buzz, what do you do? You reach in, you pull it
out, you check that text message. Guys, stop it.
How to do this? I've got you covered in this video right here. I talk about being addicted
to phones, all the issues didn't we face with these devices and how to navigate the modern
manners men need to know when it comes to phone etiquette. Check out this video right
here. I’ll also link to it down in the description. [0:08:39] End of audio