I told you so, I told you so.
You did.
She actually did, and I didn't dare believe you.
Yeah this was before all the awards started,
and I said, you are for sure going
to for sure be nominated, if not win the Academy
Award for the role, because you were brilliant.
If you haven't seen I, Tonya, she is so good.
First of all, I love the movie, but she's so good in it.
So is Margot.
Everybody's great in it.
I love it so much.
I am so grateful for your support, too.
I've got the text screen that can prove it.
Yes, I texted after each one.
I was like, I told you, I told you.
And then I texted you after the Academy Awards,
I was like, good for you.
Do you regret not thanking me?
[LAUGHTER]
A little bit.
I do.
I kind of have a speech together of all the people
I didn't thank, and you were at the top of the list.
Because you really started everything for me.
You and Howard Stern, also.
The two of you really started my career.
And I feel remiss that I didn't.
Could I do it?
I would love that, you should for sure take this opportunity.
Can I stand right here?
Whatever you want to do.
Yeah.
Thank you to the Academy.
I also would be remiss if I didn't thank Ellen DeGeneres
and Betty DeGeneres, really, who started my career.
I also want to say--
wait, I'm not-- I'm not done.
Oh, my god.
[APPLAUSE]
I'm so glad I didn't get laid off.
I was no nervous about that.
Really?
Oh, my god.
They tell you in New York when you
get nominated, you go to this luncheon
and they give you a crash course in how to be an Oscar nominee.
And if you should win, you only have
45 seconds from the time they call your name to get up there.
But it seems like some people, they don't--
first of all, this is just fun to do.
I just love that I can do that to somebody
that I'm bored with.
I think that some people seem to let
go longer than 45 seconds, which doesn't seem fair.
Well, I'm not sure.
I decided I thought the way to do it is to envision someone
like you up in the control room with their finger
hovering over that music.
I figure if you look like you know what you're doing
and then they kind of relax.
My first line that I said was--
It was brilliant.
Nick Mackay, who was one of our writers at MOM
gave me that line.
And I thought, I don't know if I can do it.
I don't know if I should say it.
I don't know.
And I thought, I guess if I win I'll get up there and decide
in the moment.
And that's what I was thinking all the way up the stairs.
I was like, am I going to do it?
And I look at Mahershala.
And he's there, and he looks so serious.
I'm kind of intimidated by him.
He's so cool.
But I was like, this is a really serious moment.
He turned around, and I was like, yeah, I'm going to do it.
I just decided.
So she just got up there-- and if you didn't see it,
she said, I did this all by myself.
And it was so great.
I can see where you were going like, uhh,
are they going to laugh at this?
But it's clearly a joke.
Because there's no way you could have done this by yourself.
No effin' way.
Now, you had to be expecting it.
You had won 30 awards building up to that night.
I can't believe that number.
You would think-- it made me more nervous.
The more words, more things I won,
the more I was sure the next one I wasn't going to.
So by the time I got to the Oscars, I was like, I know.
And all those actresses are brilliant.
I mean Lori and Octavia, they're all friends of mine
and they're incredible.
So I thought, this could totally go another direction.
Steven Rogers was my date at the Oscars
and he was sitting right next to me,
and he thought, he was having those same feelings,
just like this might not go our way.
And we'll be fine, we'll be fine.
And then when we won--
I say we, because I felt like we did it together,
we both were like, oh my god.
Thank god.
We were so relieved.
Well because it's a lot.
I mean this season, when they call it awards season,
it is a lot.
You have to be at every single one of those events.
You didn't come to my birthday party.
I know, I couldn't because I think I was out of town.
I had to go--
can't remember, but you know.
It's my first time I've ever gone through an awards
season like that.
And it is a lot of work.
It is a lot of work.
You have to show up to every single thing.
And you didn't get to celebrate because the next day,
you had to get to work early in the morning.
I did.
And in some ways, it was great.
I had to go to MOM.
I had a table read at 11, they pushed
at an hour for me which--
That's so nice of them.
It was so cute when they told me they were pushing it an hour.
I was like, I don't know what condition
I'll be when I show up.
I literally had an hour sleep, and I showed up,
and they were so sweet.
Everyone was so happy.
And I was kind of glad, because after you go through something
like, people say there's a big letdown, a big crash you
go through.
But I didn't.
I have work.
I get to go to MOM and be with them who I love.
I love that whole group.
And we're all getting together, actually doing the Paley fest
this weekend, that people should come if you want
to come see us on the stage.
I've never done the Paley fest before but it's
at the Dolby Theater where the Oscars took place.
And it's this weekend and people should come buy tickets
and come see us.
That's a great t-shirt
Oh one of the writers on MOM made that for me too.
I felt bad that you didn't get to celebrate,
so I wanted to give you a celebration because I
think you deserve it.
So come on out.
[MUSIC PLAYING - "PONY," GINUWINE]
[CROWD SCREAMS]
Oh, my god.
You-- [LAUGHS] Oh, my god.
Are you [INAUDIBLE]?
Oh!
I'm glad I came.
[LAUGHS]
[CROWD SCREAMS]
Now, lift me up, fellas.
[LAUGHS] Lift you up?
[CROWD SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]