[sighing]
I guess this brings an end to my luxuriating.
How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Crab?
Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal the Bacon?
Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows?
Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong?
Whoa, I've never played this game before.
What's it called?
It's called, "I will never play with you... ever!"
These leg warmers?
Yeah, so?
So... I love 'em!
We're leg warmer buddies.
Oh, please. I wouldn't be caught dead
in leg warmers with that hat.
Go back to fashion school.
[sighing] He's right.
Morning Squidward. Ooh!
Squidward, where did you find those shoes?
[hissing]
Here you go, Your Majesty.
I can't drink that.
Why not?
Are you blind? Just look at it.
What about it?
That lemon has three seeds in it. That's an odd number!
I can't eat anything odd numbered.
Fine. I'll just take it out.
No! No! It's already contaminated by the bad lemon.
It won't work.
Wow. This Krabby Patty may be the most...
Horrible! Putrid! Poorly prepared! Vile!
Unappetizing! Disgusting excuse for a sandwich,
it has ever been my displeasure to have slither down my throat!
But--
And I curse this Krabby Patty, and all who enjoy them,
to an early and well-deserved grave!
Are you sure?
Does this look unsure to you?
No.
My pleasure, Squidward.
That's what good neighbors are for.
You did overlook one teensy little detail, however.
What's that Squidward?
It's Sunday!
A good neighbor doesn't bother me on Sunday!
I declare war on bunnies!
[grunting]
[groaning]
[screaming]
I am going to bury that bunny.
[groaning]
Hee hee. [belching]
Just how many snails do you have?
I don't know. Let's count them, shall we?
One, two, three, Mary, Donnie, Carmela, Señor Poopus,
Jack, 24, Paul, Brenda, Sharel, Steve, One that keeps barfing
on the floor, 48, Obulax, Vince, Mavis, Mavis Jr.,
Electric Ronnie, Dianne, Pam, 97, Walter, Sarah,
Bugaloo Shrimp, 141, Viva, Tom, Thea, Ava, that's 164,
Old Ironsides, Rhonda, Papa Pup, He Who Shall Not Be Named,
233, Sean, Andy, Mr. Buster, Mrs. Buster, I'll say 258!
Enough! You have to get rid of those snails
and get back to work!
You lose.
Need some change?
- No. - Wha? Why?
Because I'm all out of money!
Could you turn it up?
Uh, Squidward, could you turn it down a little?
Squidward, what's this about?
Squidward, how come he's so emotional?
Is he the bad guy?
- Squidward. - Squidward.
No! That's it!
All I wanted to do was watch some smooth jazz
on public television. Apparently that's not gonna happen!
Once again I'm going to have to leave my own home
just to get some peace and quiet.
Enjoy my tv!
Bring it around town.
And a little of this, a little of that,
a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that.
And that, that, that that that that! And then...
[screaming]
Wow!
Ladies and gentlemen, behold my wondrous paintings.
[groaning]
Excuse me. Can I have some ketchup?
Look at my art, you dummy!
[groaning]
As I was saying, I'd like to go over
just a few more crucial aspects of the first date...
[growling]
Such as--
SpongeBob! Would you please just shut it and leave me alone?
Um, Squidward...
Don't "um, Squidward" me, you, you annoying,
insignificant, waste of my time!
Um, Squidward.
Don't interrupt me! And don't call me, look at me,
write me, or even think of me! 'Cause you and I,
we are not friends! And never will be.
Where did you get that?!
Well, with all the ruckus you were making over it,
I kept it with me, just to make sure it was safe.
[growling]
Call it a friendly gesture!
I'll show you a friendly gesture!
Do you know the horror I've endured?!
Let's see how you like it!
What are we gonna do with all this dip?
Patrick!
What are you two morons doing?
Waiting to watch the sun rise with you.
- At 3:47 in the morning?! - Uh-huh.
In my bedroom?!
We come here every morning.
You sneak into my house every morning?
Uh-huh.
[groaning]
It's our favorite pastime.
[groaning]
Ah, the memories we've shared right in this room.
They're all here in this memory book.
[groaning]
Here we are on the Fourth of July.
[groaning]
And Valentine's Day.
Oh, you looked so cute on Easter.
[groaning]
What's wrong, Squidward?
Okay, quick survey. Are you busy busy, or just busy?
What's "busy busy?"
No, no, no, no, no! Don't tell me! Don't tell me!
Don't tell me anything,
don't even tell me what you're doing here!
I found a jump rope.
I said not to tell me!
You're ruining my perfect afternoon.
♪ La de dum La da doo, la da doo♪
This is Squidward, the cashier.
[screaming]
And yes, those moles are huge.
[groaning]
Amazing?
And stay out!
[groaning]
Don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here
for the rest of the day or tomorrow or next week.
Squidward, does that include--
Yes, it does!
Gee Patrick, do you think
Squidward was trying to tell us something?
Yes, I was!
You call yourselves good neighbors?!
You're the worst neighbors ever!
You don't deserve to wear those fezzes!
Gee, Pat. Maybe President Squidward's right.
Yeah. I guess we aren't good neighbors, after all.
No, you aren't! You're horrible neighbors!
And stop calling me president!
What do you think, Squidward?
Just take it all in for a moment.
Let it soak in.
[screaming]
It looks like the excitement and my artistic triumph
is too much for Squidward.
[music playing]
That was awful!
[cheering]
He stole my jokes, he stole my job.
He stole my standing ovation!
You little wooden thief!
Stop stealing my life!
[screaming]
Stop! Stop! Don't gnaw on the head of my new client!
Please! You don't know what you're doing!
Are you mad?! Have mercy!
- Could I have something to eat? - No.
Can't you say anything else but no?
Try asking again.
- Can I have something to eat? - No.
[groaning]
Are you all right?
[groaning]
Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.
Hello! Anyone there?!
I've got you now, SpongeBob!
Hey, put some clothes on!
The truth will be revealed!
Right on, Squidward!
Okay, Mr. Krabs, get plenty of rest.
And if things don't seem right, come back.
Thanks, Doc.
SpongeBob, you can't beat me!
Ah ha! I've caught you now!
You didn't think I knew you were a stick
outside my window! Ha! Or the toilet in my bathroom!
And then you are in my bathtub and I- and you-
and I- and then you swam down the drain
and beat me to the Krusty Krab.
Uh, does that mean you're--
Yes, SpongeBob, I am finished with those errands.