Unless you know what they’re doing.
I'm gonna tell you what they are,
so that you can know what they're doing,
so that they won't work on you.
So, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney and I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and
I've helped thousands of people
go from lives of drama, trauma and chaos,
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I do that through helping them in their negotiations.
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So, let's dive in, free content right here,
seven ways that narcissists use tricks on your mind,
that actually do work on you unless you know.
So, what do they do?
The first thing they do, and
this kind of starts off in the love-bombing phase by the way,
the phase where they're trying to draw you in,
because they need their narcissistic supply, right?
They need that supply because that's what they’re looking for,
which is anything to feed their ego and
that's all about that.
And remember, when you're building strategy,
when you're building leverage against them,
you got to like keep all of this in mind and
you can't use regular negotiation tactics,
when you're dealing with narcissists, they don't work.
This whole like mirroring thing that works actually
in regular negotiation, with normal people,
but the reason why they do this is
because they do know that this sort of works.
So, what they do is they kind of subtly copy you,
they subtly sort of mimic you, they subtly mirror you.
I dealt with two covert narcissists in my life who targeted me,
which was pretty awful and
they both did this, they both copied me.
So, they mirror you, they copy what you're doing and
they try to subtly mirror your body language,
and all of that
because they want to seem similar to you.
It's a mind game that actually works at the beginning,
because they want to seem perfect for you,
they're very good at reading people,
they’re very good at studying people.
All right, that's number one.
Just so you know and
it's something that you can do back too
when you are negotiating with them.
I talked about ethically manipulating the manipulator,
something that you can do too.
Some of them will really have this thing
where you can seriously play the violin,
where they'll find a way to blame every bad thing
that's ever happened in the world on what's happened to them.
Like, “Oh this awful thing” and
so they will definitely play the victim or
they're so sick all the time,
or they’re this, or they’re that,
so that they can play the victim.
This is a big favorite of the covert narcissists.
If you want to know more about covert narcissism in relationships,
I do have a whole video on this.
I did have to deal with a covert narcissist myself,
well, a couple of them and
they're really, really underhanded and
in some ways, I think the worst of them,
because you really don't spot them right away.
So, definitely check out my video on that.
They use gaslighting,
they forget things and they don't follow through,
it's very hard to pin down that it was back to them,
underhanded sabotage, very like I said, passive-aggressive.
“Oh, I didn't realize”, “I didn't mean to”,
“I thought you meant this”, “Oh, I was going to”,
that sort of thing and it's pretty awful.
So, that's the passive aggressive game.
This is also a very common game that narcissists will play,
It's easy for them.
All they have to do is just act like nothing happened,
they ignore certain things,
they respond only to what they want to respond to,
they’ll respond to certain text messages, for example,
they ignore other text messages.
Again this could actually be in conjunction with the passive aggressive,
“Oh, I didn't see that message”,
“I meant to respond to that one”,
“Oh, I didn't mean to not respond to that one”,
“Oh, I didn't see that”, “I didn't get that text”,
that sort of thing.
They just withhold certain information from you.
I had to deal with this with the business partner I was dealing with,
where I would find out that she knew certain things,
had information on better things,
it just was very frustrating, very maddening,
not telling you that they received information,
not telling you that they talked to people,
it's very, very frustrating.
Another mind game that they play,
where they will line up third parties against you
to make it seem like you are the crazy one,
to make it seem like other people are believing their lies,
to make it seem like you're very isolated,
to make it seem like you don't have any friends
or that there's this army of people ganging up against you,
like you're being bullied.
It's like you lose your footing,
you lose your way and you lose the sense of yourself and
it starts to steal your soul after a while
because of these flying monkeys.
This can happen in a number of different ways,
guilt for not spending enough time with you,
they play on your vulnerabilities,
playing the woe-is-me game a whole lot of different ways.
Again, this could also be in conjunction with the victim game,
or the passive aggressive game, or withhold game and
there's a number of different ways that this could go,
but, it’s all part of the mind games that they can play.
So, these are just some of the mind games they can play,
I'm sure there are probably an infinite number.
If you’ve seen others,
I'd love to know what other mind games you have seen,
let me know in the comments below as well.
If you are negotiating with a narcissist,
please feel free to grab my free e-book,
It's a free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com.
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to get the extra support that you may need,
so that you’re not isolated and alone,
please don't hang out there feeling isolated and alone,
narcissists want you to feel that way;
so, please don't feel that way.
Remember today is always a great day to start negotiating your best life,
wherever you are is the jumping off point,
it's never too late, you can turn this around.
Never give in, never give up,
I'm here for you.
We got a whole slice quad here for you.
So, I will see you in the next video.
Let's do this.