- Can Link tell the difference
between real news and The Onion?
- Let's talk about that.
(cool electronic music)
- Good mythical morning!
- We are still split screening it, hello Rhett.
- Hey Link. - Right over there.
Because we're still in quarantine
as of the time of this recording
and, of course, we want to do everything we can
to continue to bring you Good Mythical Morning
even though we're screen splitted.
- That's right.
Okay, Link, you've been watching any news lately?
- I've been watching a lot more news than I ever have, yeah.
- Now, do you think that you can tell the difference
between a real article and a fake article?
- If it's in Florida, I know that it's real.
Otherwise, I presume that it's fake.
- You know what, that's a pretty good system.
Okay, all right, we're gonna put that instinct
to the test because it's time for
The Onion News Is Like Real News With a Bit More Pizzazz,
But Can You Tell Them Apart
Like Two Notes in Dissonant Jazz?
- Dissonant jazz. - That dissonant jazz.
The notes are so close sometimes.
- Kind of like (singing).
- Yeah.
Stevie, I know you're listening in,
you've been listening to any dissonant jazz?
- [Stevie] Oh, yeah, all the time.
I have a dissonant jazz station that I'm tuned into.
- I know you're into it. - That sounds horrible!
I'd rather eat an onion raw like an apple.
- Well, get ready, here's how this is gonna work.
I'm going to read a headline for you.
- Rita Headline, that's a good name for an anchorwoman.
- Okay.
(Stevie laughing)
Rita, I get it, Rita Headline.
I'm going to do an impersonation of Rita Headline for you
and then you're going to tell me
whether or not you think it's real or fake.
And basically, if it's real, it's a real news article,
if it's fake, it's from that glorious publication
of fake news articles, The Onion,
which happens to fool people all the time.
And speaking of the onion, if you get it right,
then I have to take a bite out of this raw onion
like it's an apple.
If you get it wrong,
whoa, you haven't even peeled your onion.
Oh, that's a container.
- I was wondering if I would fool you.
There's an onion in my onion, it's a dissonant onion.
- Okay, so you're gonna have to take,
oh, you've got half an onion?
- I thought it was full, but it's not.
- Doesn't matter, there's still enough to eat.
So, if you get it wrong, you have to take a bite
and at the end, whoever has taken more bites of the onion
is the official loser and has to do what we're gonna call
the French Onion, which is you basically have to make out
with your onion on camera, everybody's gonna love that.
- Everyone's gonna love it.
- Are you ready for your first headline from Rita?
- Why wouldn't I be ready, Rhett?
- Link, your first headline is from a story
that sounds like a real hoot.
(laughs) - I love hoots.
- It says, "Aspen man
"hires stuffed owl as his defense attorney."
Is that from The Onion or not The Onion?
- I think there's lots of stuffed owls
perched up around Aspen.
I've never been, you've been to Aspen.
You seen any perched owls?
- I have been to Aspen, one time and you were there with me.
(Stevie laughing) - No I wasn't.
- No, no, this was, like,
a long time ago. - You went skiing, dude.
- No, I did not. - I've never been to Aspen.
- I've not been skiing at Aspen.
- Oh, you went to Vail.
He want to Vail, I was at Vail.
I think this is true because having apparently been there,
I remember seeing a lot of stuffed owls
who could litigate your pants off.
I don't know how, but true.
- Link, you're right.
- Take a bite of that onion! - This headline is from
the Huffington Post.
The bird brain in question went to court
after he assaulted his former roommate
at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
He placed a fuzzy stuffed owl toy on the defense table
and said it's name was Solomon
and it would be representing him.
Now, keep in mind, the trial was suspended
because every time the defendant was mentioned,
the attorney asked "who?"
(Rhett and Stevie giggling)
- If I were the judge, how do you abide by such things?
- I don't know man, it's a free country.
I'm gonna bite an onion.
- Okay.
- [Stevie] Whoa, man!
- I mean, you bit it in such a way
as if you were trying to kill it while biting it.
- I love onions, I love onions, man.
- I love owls.
They can look mean, they can look surprised,
they can look 360.
- All right, Link, here's your next question.
This one strangely comes from another bird related story.
And it's titled "Emergency room staff assures parents
"that Burger King Chicken Fries will pass naturally
"through child's system."
Is this story of helicopter parenting real
or too tasty to be true?
- Yeah, I don't know why this would be covered.
I definitely think there's parents who would call
or take their kid to the emergency room
thinking that a chicken stick would get stuck forever.
But I don't think that the journalists
outside of The Onion would cover it.
I'm saying fake.
- Link, you're two for two, but the reason
that this is from The Onion is because it's kind of
making fun of, and we know a lot of parents like this
in Southern California, it's making fun of parents
that if they found out that their kids had eaten
anything from Burger King, they would be worried
if it would pass through their system,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, that's right.
- I don't know if this onion's gonna pass through my system,
but I am gonna take another bite of it.
Oh gosh.
- Is the bite gonna be as big as the first one?
Oh, no.
When's the last time you had a Burger King chicken finger,
chicken stick, what's it called?
Chicken Fry.
- I've had 'em one time when they first came out.
- Yep, that's all you need.
- I always get the thing that's just come out once.
- Is it still in there or did it pass?
- I believe it's still in there
based on the way I feel right now.
- So every time you feel bad, you blame it on
the Burger King chicken stick?
- It's not a chicken stick, it's a Chicken Fry,
get it right, man.
- But it is in stick form.
And I am two for two and I wanna give a quick reminder
that the Mythical Society quarterly collectible item
is available and it's up for grabs, you just have to be
a Third Degree quarterly or annual plan member by June 30th.
That is the I'm On Vacation vinyl.
Rhett, we got a record.
- [Rhett] Yeah we do. - It's got "I'm On Vacation,"
it's got "I'm On Vacation" a remix,
and it's got brand new original songs from us
called "Why I Travel."
Get it on vinyl, hang it on your wall,
Third Degree quarterly or annual plan by June 30th.
MythicalSociety.com.
See if I can keep myself on a roll here.
- All right Link.
As you might know, right now's
a great time to pick up new hobbies, and this article
promotes an activity that's perfect for the indoors
and not dangerous at all.
This headline reads "New sip-and-weld studio
"provides opportunity to drink wine,
"create own masterpiece with blowtorch."
Is this trend for real
or is it filled with the oaky aroma of fiction?
- Okay, so you're drinking wine and you're welding stuff?
- Mm-hmm.
- Now, see, I've taken my kids to paint pottery.
I've taken my kids to melt glass into mosaics.
I've taken my kids to places, dropped 'em off,
and then remembered way too late that I needed to go back
and pick 'em up, but let's not get into that.
I think this is trendy, it doesn't sound safe
but it sounds fun.
True.
- Not true, it's from The Onion.
And I personally, I was disappointed that this was fake
because I personally only weld while drunk.
(Stevie and Link laughing)
Take a bite of that onion, Link.
- (hoots) It's spicy.
- Okay, now, no matter how the saying goes,
I believe the customer is not always right
and this is especially true about this next headline
about a hangry customer who punched a sandwich maker
for adding too many pickles to their order.
The headline says, "Hungry patron delivers knuckle sandwich
"with a side of pickles."
Is this headline real or covered in onion?
- People get mad about their sandwiches, man.
Especially if it's like a Subway situation.
Do you know the restaurant?
- I can't answer that because if I said yes,
you might think it was real and if I said no,
then you might know it's The Onion.
- If they're making a sandwich in front of you
and they put too many pickles.
(Stevie laughing)
- Yeah, exactly, too many pickles.
- You never know what someone's going through, people.
I'm gonna say true, it's not just about the pickles, though.
- Link, you're right, according the CNN, this is real.
The assailant punched and shoved two jars of pickles
at the sandwich maker before fleeing.
However, the Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs employee
managed to wrangle the ravenous customer
until authorities arrived.
You know, too many pickles on my sandwich
is what I often say at a crowded sauna.
But I am going to take another bite of this onion.
Oh, gosh, I gotta get to the sweet, soft inside of this.
- Dude, when I ate my onion,
I love onions but it's nauseating, man.
It's sickening.
(Rhett growling)
You seem like you're okay with it.
- I'm a Georgia boy.
My mama's from Vidalia, Georgia.
- I just have a white onion, it's not sweet enough.
- I think mine's just a white onion as well.
- Ugh, my breath.
- Okay, I've already taken three bites,
which means that I'm gonna have to French Onion my onion
anyway, and if you don't get the next two right,
you're also gonna have to French Onion your onion.
- Ooh, okay.
- Celebrities would love for us to think
they're just like us, but they usually say that
in something called a foyer, so it's hard to believe.
Here's a similar story from a magazine cover
featuring Reese Witherspoon entitled,
"Reese Witherspoon, sweaty and loving it."
Tell me, Link, is this headline a big little truth
or does it stink of onions?
- I mean, what context could this be true?
Maybe that's the name of a movie that she's in?
Maybe she's in a movie
where she's playing a fitness instructor
and this is like Hollywood Reporter.
I hope that's true, so I'm gonna,
in an effort to fulfill my own wishes,
I'm gonna put my wish were my answer is, true.
- Link, it's from The Onion.
And I feel obligated to mention
that sweaty and loving it was my nickname in high school.
- Oh, man, I don't really wanna go in again, but.
- [Rhett] Oh, wow, a nice one.
(hoots) Get it, son.
(Stevie giggling)
- Oh, gosh.
- Okay, Link. (Link hooting)
Last chance, you gotta get this one right.
This past NFL football season
was exciting for Saints fans until that fateful day
the Rams took 'em out of the running for the Super Bowl.
Some Saints fans were heartbroken
but had a hopeful vision for next season,
according to this headline that reads,
"Louisiana eye doctor offers free eye exams
for NFL referees after Saints loss."
Ouch, was this story fabricated for comedy
or does it truly have the eye on the ball?
- I mean, it's a good joke.
I think if this were on The Onion,
you'd have all types of NFLians sharing this afterward
and that's what they're after.
As with any bogus news organization or otherwise,
they want the shares, they want the clicks.
But you know what?
I think it's a brilliant marketing scheme
from an actual Louisiana eye doctor.
An optometrist, I'll say.
True.
- [Rhett] You're right, Link. - [Link] Yes!
- The story is true.
According to WWL TV,
the Crystal Vision Centers Twitter account
posted some brutal comments like,
"In light of the atrocious lack of calls
"during the New Orleans Saints game, we would like to extend
"free eye exams and glasses to any referee in need.
"You know who you are."
I know who I am, I have to take another bite of this onion
and then proceed to make out with it.
- Oh gosh.
(Rhett growling) (Stevie laughing)
You don't typically bite part of someone's face
and then make out with them, this is gonna be a little odd.
- You don't know me, you don't know me, brother.
- I guess I don't.
(Stevie groaning)
Just an editing note, I'm gonna request
that we not go full screen on this.
- [Stevie] Oh my God!
- That's not a French Onion kiss, man.
Okay, that's enough.
At least close your eyes the whole time.
- Oh, gosh, it's worse when you lick it, somehow.
- Neither one of us are gonna be kissing anybody
for the next day or two.
- Unfortunately, it is date night for me.
I need to do something to rectify the situation.
I'm still doing date night, by the way,
we just get take out and sit away from the children.
(Stevie laughing) - Yeah, I heard about
you guys doing date night
and we started doing date night, too,
but I said I was thinking about it
before I heard about you guys doing it.
- Okay, congratulations, Link.
I'll just be spending more quality time with my onion.
Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, I'm Russ.
- And I'm Lisa.
- From Rochester, New York,
and we are blooming an onion for the first time.
And it's time to flip the Coin of Mythicality.
- Okay, before we flip the Coin of Mythicality,
we're gonna donate $1,000 to Partners in Health.
Partners in Health strives to bring
the benefits of modern medical science
to those most in need of them
and to serve as an antidote to despair.
When patients need care, their team of health professionals,
scholars, and activists invest their efforts
to make them well.
If you'd like to donate along with us,
you can go to PIH.org/donate.
- And click that top link and watch us get an update
from Jenna on Craig the snake.
- And to find out
where the Coin of Mythicality's gonna land, call it!
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