*wapoosh* top of the mornin' to ya laddies
My name is jacksepticeye
Welcome to Christmas shopper simulator
This is the game that was realeased by GAME
The UK retailer I think they're called that
There, there they are, right in the thing
Some of you will know who they are
They realeased this game for free
I don't know why they made it
Um, the time of the year is comin',
Get your games for everybody
Cuz this is gonna teach us how to shop for Christmas
Ah, some of the shops good God, so play
Male, yes I am a male, start
yeah
the- hello?
"Uncle Steve loves shampoo.
Buy some at Scroungeland then take it to the grotto
and send it to him."
Steve buddy! it's cuz he wears a helmet all the ime
so he needs- he needs shampoo
we have an X
A
XAB-V?
instead of an X-box
can I buy one?
I'd like one, please
ooh
I didn't mean to
and we've got the WAAA
instead of the Wii *laughs*
hello
oh God what is wrong with your legs?
please run
oi there
you sound like Jason Statham
oh don't crash into things
I feel like this is a game that I'm going to break
a lot of stuff of I walk into it
can you help me?
oh, oh!
shu- stop it
h-h-h-h-h-how can I help
*laughs*
there's 2 of them
ah, she doesn't say anything
oh, it's a he sor-
no, it's a she!
you mr. elf help meh plez
help me, OH
I kick
look *laughs*
the kick he does
are you gonna go play rugby?
jesus christ!
I thought you had a balaclava on your head
wh- what?
look at that person
*laughs*
bye! *laughs again*
she just said, "fuck this I'm outta here"
see if we can make her do it again
come back
come back please
oh my god she died
"X-box kill you"
it the thing that it says in the kinect
if you're sitting at home it says "X-box
killed person"
OK, so this game runs like shit
what is that guy doing?
he's drunk as balls
"this is a lovely christmas tree
I really hope I can bring that one home?
what is this?
oh
so this is something that keeps poppin' up again
it's like that *insert game name here*
game that I played
everybody is talking about this for some reason
and now I can see why
this game is weird
can I kick people
mi- mind out, mind you out
what did I do?
"clicked the right mouse button 10 times"
such a hard achievement to accomplish
gimme your shoppin'!
Eh, we need shampoo
100% soap
Crisps
Aahh, shampoo?
Tomato soup
Where's the shampoo?
Sh-you're shampoo
Sorry!
Anti-dandruff shampoo
Yes!
What is with my arms?
Oh good lord
Take it away from me *smack*
Take i- oh jesus
I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to pay for stuff
I'll pay, I'll pay, I'll pay here
"return presents to the grotto to be shipped off"
I need to pay fot it though *cha-ching*
thanks?
gift wrapped and everything,
you didn't even give it back to me
what is this person doing?
whe- where's the fire?
where's the fire come back! *smack*
OH!
I killed her
OK, let's just go to the grotto
this game is weird
what is that cat doing?
why is that cat wearing underwear?
why?
why????
can I kick you? *kicks*
*laughs*
oh that is a very provacative position
don't look at me I'm sleeping!
OK we gotta find the grotto
GET OUT OF MY WAY!
*mission complete sound* yes!
mission complete!
I have 11 missions to do?
what's my next mission?
how do I find out?
"POLAR XXPRESS"
"Your new polar bear needs a jumper.
Get him the biggest you can find at High & Wide"
what are you guys doin'?
Y-M-C-A *laughs*
why???
why MCA
fuckin' weird game
"witness a flashmob dance"
of course
when you're out shoppin'
flashmob
gotta go take a piss
de- I gotta go take a piss
there's a guy doing the worm on the floor
ge- get up off that floor
haha
my kick corrected him
ge-get up!
stop lying on that floor
oh what are you guys doin'?
it's not what I s- wanna see in the mens bathroom
here's a reindeer
can I take this? no, it's floaiting away
cuz why not?
bue!
bue!! *laughs*
the women's toilets have a gigantic queue
as it always does
wherever you go anywhere the women's toilets
are always jam-packed
but there's a guy standing in line
fo the girl's bathroom
you guys fine with this?
I-I'm breaking the queue
that guy's breaking the queue!
WOMEN'S TOILETS!
he heard me, now he's leaving
what am I doing with my life?
oh my god
K, I'm gonna go and take a shit
here we *laughs*
I don't open doors
I kick doors open!
take a piss
stand on the toilet
"super tasty juice"
*sound of vending machine*
thank you for the juice
*laughs*
I'm drinking all the juice and now I run super fast
*laughs*
I am full of sugar!!
oh my sweet lordy jesus
what is happening?
I need more juice
that was amazing
I need to do that again
juice- Juice me up
juice to the max!
OH MY GOD!
*laughs*
SUPER SPEED!
I am the flash!
the fuck outta my way!
santa!
hey buddy!
I can't do anyhting with you
uh!
oh yes!
I can jump kick
"KEEPY UPPY"
"keep an object int the air with 2 kicks"
I am doing achievements without even trying
"GIRTH"
"COMING THIS SPRING"
I don't like the fact that they put girth
and coming in the same sentence
I make the loudest footsteps in the planet of the Earth
*footsteps
'scuse me!
does anyone know where I can buy a jumper?
"scuse me!
*laughs*
OK, there's a- the arrow's pointing me
the arrow's pointing me where to go all that time
I am a silly
where's this jumper?
I'm not gonna buy 1, I'm gonna buy 50
here you go *laughs*
pick teh right jumper ya bitch!
Oh my God I can grab things
boom!
boom!!
*laughs*
OK, put i- put it there
now we can get up
get up on it
get up on it!
there we go
jumpers
yes! here we go
finally
Sir, wrap these please
this is like some sort of like stalker-ransom thing
like "hello paul."
"I like to play game
buy a... jumper"
*giggles*
"HOLIDAY SPECIAL"
"Lisa loves watching documentaries about ants
How about buying her the largest TV you can find?"
am I a millionare in this game?
why am I buying all these people extreme gifts?
where's my gift?
I want a car
put down that TV *kick*
put dow- *hysterical laughter*
I didn't mean it
I'm sorry
Oh my God!
*laughs again*
I didn't think that was gonna happen
every time I kicked everybody else nothing happened
ooh, that person is dead
it was nice knowin' ya
I'm sorry could you run that by me again?
fuck your presents
fuck your gifts
I don't need them
here we go
just hold the TV around like this
*giggles*
1 giant massive 60-inch TV please
who else needs somthing?
d- does somebody need like a house?
or somehitng that I can buy them?
"Somebody dropped a game in
Chaffinch and Ruffington
Find it, sneak out, and trade in for extra cash in GAME"
they've got the model down
HI?
you guys don't give a fuck
I just kick boxes at you and you don't care
here
bwe!
can I kick you?
a-a- bwe!
bwe!
why can't I kick them? I wanna kick their faces off
Oh, someone's chasing me
dude!
dude, no it's mine!
go away!
why is there just 1 game on the shelf?
I like how my arms are jelly once I grab something
ololol
olololol ololololo lolololl ololololol, oh
uh oh
somebody caught me
did I drop the game? NO!
it's my fuckin' game, assholes
gimme!
gimme the game
gimme the game!
I'm gone, I'm gone, see ya later, bye!
gimme that!
here we go
see ya later
bye
my game
whoooooo God *smack*
OHHH killing everybody
what si she doin'?
come bring all of your gifts to me
oh, I have to trade it in at GAME
that's what I have to do with the elf
OK, here mr. elf
here you go
*mission complete sound* the game floated
"trade in 1 games, 1 of 20"
I'm not trading all them
"christmas..."
so instead of christmas dinner we get
"christmas tinner"?
oh, I'm super speedy again
whoooo!
YEA!!
*laughs*
holy shit
whoooo best game ever!
oh what am I doing?
you are mine now, come here *laughs*
die everybody!
meet my new slave!
super speed!
shopper, away!
where am I goin'? I just wanna kick things
I just wanna kick the shit out of everybody
Ahah
I can't even see what's happening
Oh my god *laughs*
Thank you for wrapping my gift
I'm gonna leave now
A- sorry for the whole destroying your store thing
Uuhhhh
There's a badger in my neck
*kick*
*laughs*
Kicking people is the best!
Sometimes I don't *kick* kick though
Ahah!
Hahaha!
Kick *laughs*
It's just the fact that he does like a big football kick
It's not- he doesn't hold back
He like follows through his arms and everything
He kicks things like fuckin bend it like Beckham
All I wanna do is kick someone
over the edge of the railing
*kick* oh! Yeah! *laughs*
I think I killed him!
He's dead on the ground
You guys didn't see anything, you didn't see anything
I swear there's not a human head inside this package
It's just a toy
*Anti taking over Jack*
somebody stole a PC
hi?
you're not allowed to steal shit
that's my job
Oh my God I grabbed him
I don't need to grab him
grab the computer
I need to make an example of ya
do you guys see this?
this is what happens
when you steal shit
you get humiliated and dragged across the floor
*kick*
ooooohhh I did not mean to do that
d- don't mid me, just playing with my toys *laughs*
oh my God I didn't know I could ragdoll
*laughs*
this- OH MY GOD!
this game just goes so much better
geronimo!
oh God I'm stuck in the floor
oh God
what do I do?
help!
this is a very comfortable pose
this is extreme yoga
run! run!
buoing
*laughs*
what the absolute fuck?!
mission failed?
I didn't even know I could fail missions
now what happens?
"Go to the GAME store.
Defeat the Black Knight and seize the legendary sword.
Marvel at its shininess"
mr. Black Knight
good to see ya
wassup?
bue!
how do I- how do I defeat you?
bue- bue! yes!
there we go
shiny sword
out through the fucking window
what e-
what?
NO!
I refuse
no!
you know what?
screw christmas
screw the holiday season
I don't need any of it
you know what I'm done playing this game
I have absolutely no idea where it is
but oh my God it's hilarious
so this game is free
you can go off and download it yourselves if you want
I will leave a link in the description
for everybody to go play it but
Jesus Christ
I don't know what this is
I think this was GAME lookin' at it and going
that goat simulator thing is pretty popular
let's make a batshit crazy version of that
just uh- Christmas time!
actually
maybe it's a metaphor
maybe it's saying, "hey"
"this is what black friday actually looks like"
for everybody
I don't know, but anyway
that was fun, I hope you guys enjoyed watching it
if you did
PUNCH the like button in the face
LIKE A BOSS!
and
high fives all round
*wapsh, wapsh*
but thank you guys and I will see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
Outro Song by "Teknoaxe" called "I'm everywhere"
YAY! finally finished
this is actually my fav vid ever
Outro Song by "Teknoaxe" called "I'm everywhere"
put dow- *hysterical laughter*