NOW WE'VE GOT A LOT OF GREAT SHOWS COMING UP, SO IF YOU WOULD
LIKE TO COME AND SEE ONE IN PERSON, YOU CAN HEAD TO 1I
OTA.COM, CLICK ON THE CLINK THAT SAYS THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT PAST EPISODES AND ALL OF OUR CARPOOL
KARAOKE VIDEOS ON OUR YOU TOOB PAGE.
AND, PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AT “LATE
LATE SHOW.” YOU CAN ALSO HEART ME ON
INSTAGRAM, LINK ME ON LINKED IN, PIN ME ON PINTEREST, SNAP ME ON
SNAPCHAT, MEET ME ON EVERNOTE BLEAT ME ON EVER-GOAT, FIND ME A
DOCTOR ON ZOCDOC, FIND ME A SPEEDO ON JOCKSOCK, SEND ME SOME
CASH ON PAYPAL, REFUSE MY REQUEST ON NOWAYPAL, BUY ME SOME
BOOKS ON AMAZON, BUY ME SOME LARGE PRINT BOOKS ON GRANDMAZON,
STREAM ME A PODCAST ON PODCRUNCHER, FEED ME A
SEA BASS ON CODMUNCHER, DRINK MIMOSAS IN CHURCH ON
GODBRUNCHER, GO STRAIGHT FOR THE CROTCH ON RODPUNCHER, WRITE ME A
CHECK ON WIKIBUY, WEAR A TURTLENECK ON HICKEYGUY, LEAVE
ME A MESSAGE ON AUTOANSWER, HOLD ME CLOSER ON TINYDANCER,
SNUB ME FOR AN OSCAR ON ADAMSANDLER, CAN I BE ANY MORE
ON CHANDLER?
BUY ME SOME SNEAKERS ON HYPEBEAST, BUY ME A ZEBRA ON
STRIPEDBEAST, FIX MY TYPOS ON GRAMMARLY, CAN'T TOUCH THIS ON
MC HAMMERLY, ASK ME ANYTHING ON REDDIT, EXPLAIN THE JOKE ON“
OHHH I GET IT,” SEND ME A MESSAGE ON MARCOPOLO, LIVE
MARCO'S BEST LIFE ON MARCOYOLO, FIND ME A DATE ON BUMBLE, SIT UP
STRAIGHT ON A BUM BALL, FIND ME MUSIC ON SOUNDHOUND, FIND MY
BOOTY ON ROUNDMOUND, PLAN ME A TRIP ON BOOKING.COM, FIND ME A
COUGAR ON REALLY HOT MOM, SLOW ME DOWN ON DYNAMO, SUCKER ME ON
JONASBROS, RELAX AT THE SPA ON DAILY YOGA, MAKE ME GO “AWWW” ON
BABYYODA, OR, IF YOU WISH, FEEL FREE TO, WRITE ME AN OLD
FASHIONED LETTER BY ADDRESSING IT TO TELEVISION CITY STUDIOS,
7800 BEVERLY BOULEVARD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 90036.
YOU'LL TELL ME YOU'RE THINKING OF BECOMING AN ACTOR AND YOUR
DREAM IS TO BE A GUEST ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW" SOMEDAY.
YOU'LL ASK IF I HAVE ANY ADVICE AND I'LL RECOGNIZE A LITTLE BIT
OF MYSELF IN YOU AND WRITE BACK, SAYING THAT IF YOU REALLY WANT
TO BE AN ACTOR, YOU HAVE TO PURSUE IT 100%.
COMPLETELY INSPIRED BY MY WORDS, YOU'LL IMMEDIATELY DROP OUT OF
SCHOOL AND START AUDITIONING NONSTOP.
IT'LL BE HARD AT FIRST, STRUGGLING TO PAY RENT AND EVEN
BUY GROCERIES.
AND THEN WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST AND THE ONLY THING LEFT IN YOUR
FRIDGE IS A HALF A CAN OF BAKED BEANS, YOU'LL BOOK SOMETHING.
IT'S JUST ONE LINE BUT IT'S AN AARON SORKIN MOVIE AND YOU
FREAKIN' NAIL IT.
OVER THE YEARS, YOU'LL BUILD ON EACH ROLE AND I'LL KEEP TABS
ON YOUR CAREER FROM AFAR, LIKE A PROUD BUT DISTANT FATHER.
EVENTUALLY YOU'LL END UP AS THE LEAD ON THE LATEST CBS
PROCEDURAL ABOUT THE COAST GUARD AND THE PREMIERE WILL DEBUT TO
HUGE RATINGS, WHICH IS NO SURPRISE BECAUSE IT'S ON CBS,
AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE NETWORK.
DURING THE FALL PROMOTIONAL SEASON, OUR SHOW'S BOOKER WILL
REACH OUT TO ME AND SAY, “WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE HIM ON THE
SHOW?” AND I'LL SEE YOUR NAME, SMILE
AND SAY, “YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT SURE HE'S READY YET.”
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE "LATE, LATE SHOW!"