Welcome to Ask Mark week number 80.
We're talking texting today, all things texting, how to make him text back faster, what to
text him in this beautiful location on the steps of the opera house in the bridge.
How cool is that?
Thought I'd take Matty outside, and we'd do some stuff out here today, we're down in Sydney,
just coaching course, with this coaching course just wrapped up.
Really stuff, so let's get straight into that.
Hit the subscribe button and let's go.
The first question is from fsuandrea and fsuandrea says, can you do a video that addresses how
to deal with a guy who is consistently at least 15 minutes to text back between each
response when he was the one who initiated the text?
Clearly he has his phone on him.
Uh, is this a game?
Is he just not that into me?
This drives me crazy.
Should I address this with him or just leave it?
Since we haven't in-person date planned, and I'm going to be honest with you, fsuandrea
for this one, his texting style isn't that unreasonable.
It's every 15 minutes he's probably doing things, he could be working, it could be chatting
to other people.
He could have put his phone in the kitchen while he went to the living room.
This expectation we have that everyone will reply straight away is, it really assumes
that people have their phone on them all the time, which just isn't reasonable.
Look, in the end, it's up to you to decide what you will and won't accept and you can
make texting back instantly a standard of yours and you can rule this guy out because
he doesn't meet that standard.
My suggestion though would be to take your intimacy needs from things that are more important.
Things like the real connections in person, things like connections over the phone and
how you're feeling as those things progress throughout the early dating and relationship.
Now, the other thing you can do is if you're sitting there expecting him to text back every
15 minutes in particular, it might be worth going well, what else can I be doing in this
time?
So I would very much think about if this is really a standard for you, is it?
You, you can make whatever standards you want and if it is, you can enforce that and say,
Hey, this is an expectation of mine.
You know, for a person I'm seeing, take me or leave me.
But my suggestion would really be to go, well, what else can I be doing where I'm doing other
things or not even looking at my messenger?
And number two, how can I actually qualify men on something that matters?
Like the way he calls or the way he treats me, interacts with me in person rather than
texts, which is really the lowest form of connection.
Some good food for thought there for you fsuandrea.
Second question is from Anna and Anna says, Hey, Mark, wondering what does it mean when
a guy seems into you and you're chatting over texts and he says, let me know if you're in
my area of town and we'll hang out.
I assume it means he's not very interested, but my friends say it could just be him being
shy and then I should give him a chance.
What is your opinion?
Well, I created a couple of texts for you Anna, because this is, this is a really simple
one.
Shyness really doesn't exist over texts.
Now, sometimes people will pull back cause I don't want to be too vulnerable.
I'd literally send him this, I'd literally send him, Hmm.. so do I have to be in your
area for me,, for you to take me out do I?
Or even personally, I think I'm worth taking out whether I'm in your area or not with a
little blushing emoji.
Perfect response.
You can do that or you can get him to call you.
You know, just, just put yourself out there, ask him to step up or even, you know, ask
him, have him step up with you and you'll get your answer pretty quickly as to how invested
he is and whether he wants to take things to the next level with you.
Good question.
Next one is from Jenny and Jenny says, Hi Mark. Some relationships are pretty much text-only
with maybe a few Skype sessions during the whole lifetime of the relationship.
Uh, would your advice here be the same or are there different protocols?
Again, I'm just going to be honest with you, Jenny, there are no relationships that are
text-only with occasional Skypes.
It's an oxymoron.
Yeah.
You will get couples that go away and talk on Skype once a week.
Okay.
That's a normal relationship.
But no, not throughout the lifetime of a relationship.
That's a temporary thing.
And then it comes together to be more than that.
So Jenny, I'm just gonna be honest, this is not a relationship, it's not a real connection,
especially when you talk about the whole lifetime of the relationship.
I think I'd really be looking at, at building higher quality levels of connections throughout
your relationship and if you are in something that has started at a distance, making sure
there's an end date to that distance so you can have a much higher quality of relating.
And the final question is from Melissa and Melissa says, Oh, Lol if he takes 10 minutes
to reply, Imma take 20.
If he goes an hour, I'm going to go three. The end.
Pretty much the definition of playing games, don't do that.
Okay?
Imagine if he was doing it.
Don't, don't do that.
Just, just don't do that.
Like I said, if you put your phone away, great, you're doing other things, but don't do that.
That's just, if you're playing games like this, he's going to play games like this with
you.
It's really that simple.
The world's a mirror and actually a little quickie bonus.
Eleina wrote something that I wanted to show you.
Uh, Eleina said, ah, that's a great book.
Very informative.
This was about the love languages review book video that I did.
Uh, she has PS.
I really liked the cushions behind you, especially the ones with the flowers to your left.
Can I please ask you, where did you get them from?
You certainly can, Eleina.
I got them from my mom.
Actually, my mom made them, they're hers and I was sitting at her place
So, unfortunately, I can't sale you any, but aren't they super beautiful.
Thank you for the compliment.
I'm going to pass this onto her.
That is the video today.
Thank you so much for watching.
I hope you enjoyed the change of scenery and getting out here.
Uh, this is Australia, so thought I'd show you a bit more of that.
Leave your comments, thoughts, questions, all in the space below.
You know what to do, comments for next week.
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little bell.
Thanks again for watching and I'll see you in the next Ask Mark very soon.
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