Hey guys, if you're watching this
you've probably been in a situation
where you met an attractive woman
and you wanted to ask for her phone number,
but you didn't know how without
sounding like a creep.
Well, you're not alone and it's not your fault.
In today's world of
hashtag me too and fourth wave feminists,
it can be terrifying
just to approach a woman, never mind
ask for her phone number.
Sweaty palms, racing heartbeat,
foggy thinking, and not knowing
what you're supposed to say.
Well, it's no wonder you feel nervous or awkward
but even though it can be nerve-wracking
to approach a woman and then
ask for her phone number
it is an essential part of the dating process
because despite all those feminists out there
86% of women
still prefer for a man to initiate.
Because no matter how much
modern feminism tries to brainwash women
it can't fool our biology.
So, if you are one of the few men
still willing to initiate
you will actually be one of the few men
getting more phone numbers and more dates.
And no matter what age you are
asking for her phone number
doesn't have to be intimidating.
In this video, you'll learn my top nine
tips and tricks for how to naturally know
what to say and what not to say.
Not sound like every other pickup artist
who's approached her. End the conversation
while leaving her wanting more
and get her phone number
naturally with ease.
If you're new to my channel I help men
decode women so you can find, attract,
and keep your keeper.
My videos are for you if you know that
while modern women definitely need to
learn and appreciate a lot more about men
you can only do what you can do.
Welcome to just the tip.
Let's get started.
Number one,
be confident and straightforward.
Being confident and straightforward
is important to women because it shows
that you can take charge and be assertive.
Women respond positively
to a man who's confident
in himself and his intentions
and being straight forward
also shows her you respect her time
and aren't playing games.
So, walk up to her with your head held high.
Smile warmly, make eye contact.
Example of what not to say,
this is really random but
if she's under 30, 25, for sure
she has heard this before
because it's one of the most common openers
pick up artists suggest using.
I've even heard it and I'm old.
You're better off to use something more genuine
and situationally relevant.
Say this instead.
Hey, I saw you and
I thought you looked like a nice person.
So, I thought I'd come over and say hi.
Mind if I sit down? My name's JP.
This one actually happened to me
many years ago when I was sitting alone
in a public park reading a book.
Why? It's good?
Well, people tend to automatically
want to live up to positive expectations of us.
How could I possibly say no
to him sitting down when
he just called me a nice person?
Now of course, some woman will say no,
but you'll probably get a much gentler rejection.
Then he followed up with
what are you reading?
Which allowed for a natural
conversation to unfold.
Or you might use a more direct approach
like, hi, I saw you and couldn't help
but come over and introduce myself.
My name's JP.
How are you?
Now, this is a bold,
honest approach that is a bit risky
if she hasn't shown clear signs of interest.
But if she's on the fence
it can actually push her over the fence
into becoming more interested
at least more curious.
Reminder and key point.
Women's biology, our bodies can't help
but respond positively
to a man's confidence and assertiveness
as long as it's respectful.
Now, some dating coaches
suggest you ask for her name
after you've introduced yourself.
However, it can be better to wait to see
if she offers her name
because that will help you gauge
her level of interest in you.
She may offer her name right away,
in which case she might simply be polite
or maybe she is attracted to you
or she may offer it later in the conversation
and that's definitely a clue that
she is more interested or at least curious
As well not asking for her name right away
is less intrusive
and of course, when you do learn her name
you will want to sprinkle it into the conversation
because it's her favorite word in the whole world.
At the same time, you don't want to
intimidate her too much,
which brings us to tip number two,
make her feel safe.
As I've said in many other videos
women's primary need is to feel safe.
So, don't box her in or block her exits.
Another great way of making her feel safe
is by disclosing you only have a few minutes.
This means she doesn't have to
engage in a long conversation with you
when she doesn't even know
if she's interested in a conversation with you.
Example, don't say this
I've got to meet a friend we go
rock climbing every week.
We usually meet on Wednesdays, blah, blah, blah.
She doesn't know you well enough
to care about the details of your life
and it's already evidence
of a longer conversation.
Instead say this,
I only have a few minutes but I wanted to meet you.
Clear, direct, to the point,
and supportive of its own meaning,
a short conversation.
And now that you've made her feel at ease,
it'll be easier to ease in to the next tip.
Tip number three, be casual.
Don't make it a big deal or
put too much pressure on the situation.
Key point, women mirror your feelings.
Start with some small talk
before easing into asking for her phone number.
Make her feel comfortable
not like she's being put on the spot.
Example, don't say this.
Hey, I got to go but can I get your number?
No, unless she's 110% into you
this is way too pushy.
Instead say this
what are we reading today?
What are we drinking today?
What are we shopping for today?
The we makes this question
cheeky and familiar.
Then you can casually
and playfully talk about that topic.
It can be anything to do with the situation,
surroundings or something unusual
about her if it's obvious.
Maybe she's carrying a stack of books
or she's got a puppy
or a bunch of shopping bags
or just one shopping bag.
Being casual ties into tip number four.
Make a connection.
Before you ask for her number
it's important that you build some rapport with her
to show her that you're actually interested in her
as a person and not just a number.
Women want to feel seen, heard, and valued,
and making a connection with her
shows that you actually
do want to get to know her.
You can do this by adding more
meaningful questions to your conversation.
Example, what made you decide
to pick up a book on narcissists?
Should I be concerned?
What makes this your favorite coffee shop?
Me I love the atmosphere.
Are you a woman who loves finding
the perfect gift for someone
or does it stress you out?
These questions are still on topic
but a little bit more intimate and personal
and delve more into her personality and motivations.
Key point, when you approach a woman
she automatically already knows
you're physically attracted to her.
So, making a real connection
actually ties into tip number five.
Be genuine.
Don't use cheesy pickup lines
or try to be someone you are not.
Be the real quirky you
and let your true personality shine through.
This is why you need to be careful
using "the guessing game."
A lot of pickup artists and dating coaches
both suggest using the guessing game
as a way to be playful
and build sexual attention
and it can work sometimes.
However, again,
if she's under 25 or 30,
especially if she's beautiful
she's definitely experienced this before
especially with pickup artists,
and it's going to come across as not genuine.
Now, some of you are asking
what is the guessing game?
Well, glad you asked.
Basically it's when you ask her a question
about herself and before she answers
you take a stab at what the answer might be.
Example, what are you drinking?
Wait, let me guess.
It's a non-fat, low foam cappuccino.
That's the kind of girl you are. Am I right?
Again, this can work sometimes
but if she's heard it before
it's definitely going to come across
as not genuine and it's going to
feel like a pickup line.
If she hasn't heard it before
then she might laugh or play along.
However, if you're simply genuine and authentic
you don't need to use standard lines or pickup tactics
and you'll be much more likely
to get her phone number.
Now, the next tip should be obvious
but isn't always.
Number six, be respectful.
It's important to be respectful
when you're chatting with a woman because
it shows you value her boundaries.
Women want to feel safe and comfortable.
So, when you respect her
and those around you
it shows that you're someone she can trust.
Don't make inappropriate statements
or gestures or be rude to the
people around you, whether they're
staff or other customers.
And of course, here's the one that's not so obvious.
Make sure you're actually actively
listening to her and not distracted
by other people or your phone.
A great way to show you're actively listening
is to paraphrase,
not parrot phrase something she said.
Example, she says,
I always get a decaf breve latte.
You say, so you always get a decaf breve latte.
That's parrot phrasing and sounds awkward.
Instead, say always?
Do you get the zoomies If you drink high octane?
Active listening also means
you're fully present
not in your head trying to think of
the next witty thing to say.
If you show her you respect her,
she'll be more interested in you
and it'll be far more natural
for her to want to give you her number.
And this brings us to tip number seven.
Have a reason to exchange numbers.
It's important to end the conversation
before it starts getting boring.
Wingmam motto,
always leave them wanting more.
So, when you've built up some rapport with her
and since she's gained some interest in you
that's when you want to wind down the conversation
and skid at all.
If she seems more relaxed
or she's laughing more easily
or she's asking you personal questions
about yourself that can be a sign of interest.
So you want to have your reason ready
so you're not stumbling at the time when you
want to ask for her number. If it's gone really well,
maybe you want to take her on a date.
If you're not quite sure yet,
but maybe you've discovered some common interests,
maybe that's something you'd like
to explore together.
And if you've had
a pleasant interaction, it is best to assume
she wants you to ask
for her phone number, so ask.
Which brings us to tip number eight,
use the assumptive close.
Remember a woman wants to follow your lead
when you act with certainty.
Example, don't say this.
Do you mind if I get your number?
Asking this way sounds
weak and uncertain, not sexy.
Reminder, women mirror your feelings about you.
If you're hesitant she's hesitant.
Also, best not to say
can I give you my number?
Same thing
not assertive
but also it leaves the ball in her court.
And while you may think
this is a good thing
it's actually not
because of course this means
she has to initiate reaching out to you.
Remember, 86% of women
don't want to be the initiator
and key point,
if she has to be the initiator
she'll be less likely
to reach out if she's sort of on the fence
because if she reaches out
what does that say?
It says, I'm interested
when she might not be yet.
Women and men are different
in how they develop interest in each other
for long-term relationships.
You know right away
if you like her and you're attracted to her.
Women are not that way
when it comes to long-term relationships.
So, if she has to reach out to you
then she's automatically
going to be putting the brakes on
to make sure you don't think
she's more interested than she is.
You want to make it easy
for her to flow into interest,
which means you need to be the one reaching out first.
So, wherever possible
it's always better for you to get her number
and to initiate conversation.
Now, she won't give you her number or
she says she never gives out a phone number
then sure give her your number.
But just don't have high expectations
unless there's a high interest on her part.
Instead, say this.
I've got to go, I'm late,
but I'd like to see you again.
Let me get your number.
You can tell me more about this narcissist book.
As you say this,
you're getting your phone out and opening
to a new contact by leading with an assumption.
You make it easier for her to follow along
and to participate.
Then you hand her your phone
and ask her to put her information in there.
This also ensures you're going to get
the correct spelling of her name
and her digits
if you're really nervous about typing those in.
Now, she insists that
you give her your phone number
because she doesn't want to give her number
enter your phone number with your name
as something fun associated
with where you just met.
Maybe it's cute man at coffee shop,
Tom Wink
grocery store, park, wherever.
Okay, now when should you follow up?
My answer might surprise you.
Number nine, follow up.
Once you have her number
it's important to follow up
in a timely manner
so she knows you're genuine
and not playing silly games.
Of course, you don't want to come across
as too eager.
So, what's a guy to do?
You text her right away.
The sooner the better.
What?
I know other coaches and pickup artists say,
wait a few days and then message.
Now, that's gamey like venison or maybe moose.
Anyway instead I suggest
you text her right away,
right there with her if
the situation allows for it
or at minimum within a few minutes of leaving her.
Key point, the reason you want to
do it right away
is because you're obviously going
to be thinking about her at this moment
because you just had a conversation.
So, it doesn't come across
as overly needy, eager, or desperate.
You've initiated
now the ball's in her court
and how quickly she replies
can help you gauge her level of interest.
Example, you text her
great chatting with you Ashley
enjoy your decaf, Tom.
Or enjoy your birthday party
or enjoy your book.
Might even say Tom, not a narc.
Now, don't get into another conversation right away
because that will seem too eager.
Remember, you've got somewhere to go.
You've got somewhere to be you have a life.
What's the wingmam motto?
Always leave them wanting more, right.
If she doesn't reply
then message her again in three to five days.
I wouldn't say wait seven to 10 days
unless you're actually extremely busy
or leaving town or something.
And if she does reply
then pick up the conversation again
later in the day or the next morning.
Leaving her wanting more
means giving her enough to want more.
Okay, now since you've stuck with me this long
I'm going to give you a bonus tip
on closing the deal.
Don't get into endless texting conversations
that gets dull really fast.
Have a few conversations
and then close for getting together again
in three to five days.
Example, don't say this.
Do you want to get together again soon?
Weak, uncertain.
Instead say this,
what are you doing Thursday at 7:00 PM?
Do you like ice cream?
That's strong, certain, and assertive
without being overly aggressive.
And if you feel overwhelmed
with all of these steps
just start with the first one
that you're not comfortable with and practice that
until you're comfortable.
Then move on to the next one.
No one learned anything all at once.
With these tips, you'll be able to approach
and talk to an attractive woman
and get her number
with natural confidence and ease.
If you want more texting tips
then you're going to want to watch some of the videos
in my texting playlist.
And if you want a step-by-step guide
for how to feel and be more competent
and confident with women
then you're going to want to get
and do the homework in
my WakeUp2Love program.
Thanks for being here, God bless.