- Who insulted someone so badly
that he quit on the spot? - [Alyssa] Oh!
(laughing) Oh, my God.
- Who of you is the meanest
and most cunning? - You!
(all laughing)
Honestly, of this group, you're the meanest.
- Quit on the spot. - [Alyssa] Quit on the spot.
- All right, I would never, ever say anything mean
to anyone at work. - Me neither.
- Me neither. - Behind their back, for sure.
- Absolutely! - [Lily] And now
it's accidentally heard.
- You have to be so careful, shit-talking is an art
people don't understand. - What's the nastiest thing
you've ever said about a coworker? (laughs)
- [Janie] Oh, my God!
I'm not- - I'm just trying to get
some gossip out. - [Luke] Some dirt.
- So, who's like loose-lipped?
I don't think it's Tao, if I'm wrong-
- I have secrets about everyone.
- Oh, my God! - In this.
- But you're good- - [Alyssa] Present company included?
Try us, try us! - Probably, yeah.
I mean, I won't say because I'm a trap.
- I've worked closest with Luke,
it's not Luke, it's not. - I am a trap.
- [Alyssa] You're a trap. - He's really, really,
really, really good at, like,
you always know he knows. - Putting up a mask.
- But he puts a mask on. - I think me and Luke
probably receive this. - Yes, I am a sociopath.
(all laughing)
- We are sociopaths. - Could it be, I mean, Grant,
I feel like you don't seem like someone
who says mean things. - [Janie] No, he's a bit younger.
- [Alyssa] Or is the smile throwing us off?
Is the bow tie a red herring?
- Grant would love this to be about him.
- Wouldn't it be nice? - Yeah, I don't think it's-
- All right, let's get our final guesses in.
Alyssa, who do you think insulted someone so badly
that he quit on the spot?
- Tao, just 'cause you got me on the last one, let's see.
Just in case this is a sneak attack, maybe it's Tao.
- [Lily] All right. - In your caffeine,
pilled lifestyle.
- Right, caffeine, pilled- - In a caffeine mania,
he's like, "I have so much energy!"
- Fuck his mother!
Fuck his mother! - I have a tiny head!
- Alyssa thinks it's Tao.
Janie, who do you think? - I'm just gonna say Luke.
- All right, Janie thinks it's Luke.
Luke, who do you think? - I am insulted.
(Janie laughing)
I quit! - [Alyssa] Great!
- Wow, what's happening?
- Look, I'm gonna stick with the slam dunk, no offense,
you know what I mean? (all laughing)
You see, I agree with Alyssa, though.
It is very hard to be like,
who of these very nice people that I've worked with
for years- - Yeah, yeah.
- Do I think, I'm basically saying is mean,
and I, (sighs) Lily is at the top of that list.
- I take that as a compliment, I tell the truth.
I'm not a liar like you guys. - That's what it is,
it's the truth. - [Lily] Tao?
- I'm thinking Janie. - [Lily] All right,
Tao thinks it's Janie.
Will the person who insulted someone so badly
that he quit on the spot take a big old sip
of their drink? - Oh!
(suspenseful music)
- See, the actual story is so much worse-
(all shouting in disbelief) (Lily laughing)
Really, it's worse than it sounds right there.
I was a little boy and he was an adult.
I was in a high school production of "The Wiz",
playing The Wiz, and they- (Alyssa laughing)
- Can we get a couple of bars?
♪ So you wanted to meet The Wizard ♪
(Janie laughing)
And we had these, like, Britney Spears head mics.
- Oh, cool, that's hip. - Yeah.
- And I was backstage,
talking about the adult, hired pianist for the show,
who wasn't very good. - (gasps) Oh, no!
- And I was saying to somebody else,
"Well, we only use him 'cause he's cheap,"
and I was hot in the theater.
- No, no, no. (Luke laughing loudly)
- [Alyssa] No, no, no, no, no. - No!
- And so,
this little shitty boy- - [Alyssa] No!
- Talking shit for the whole theater to hear,
this pianist was like, "Fuck this!
I quit, I am done." - And this is during
the show, this isn't like a dress, it's like-
- This is close enough to the show that,
oh, I'm wearing a microphone
and there's a hired band there, so probably
like the week of or something. - You were probably
the last straw, there were other reasons,
but you were the last straw. - Also, he wasn't very good,
believe me. (all laughing)