What I will be saying in this video can be useful in many situations.
In fact, many secular organizations are already practicing it.
There may even be some churches that do little things...
that resemble this teaching in some ways.
But almost everything that Jesus said...
was not said so that we could use it for our own personal advantage.
What Jesus taught was part of a bigger picture.
All of his teachings need to work together.
Otherwise, each piece can become a tool for evil as well as good.
My subject is how to resolve disagreements between people.
In particular, between Christians.
God knows there are many disagreements between Christians that need to be resolved.
But if we resolve them by expelling good guys and keeping bad guys,
then this teaching would actually be working against Jesus
and against his kingdom.
Also, if a big company uses this teaching to resolve conflicts,
it will only make the company more efficient in what it aims to do.
And the company's goal is not to promote Jesus or the Kingdom of Heaven.
Can you see that?
A good technique can make a bad organization better at being bad.
We want to make a good organization (the kingdom of heaven that Jesus taught)
more efficient at being good.
So examine the bigger picture, to know what is really happening.
The teaching that I am talking about, is in Matthew 18:15 to 17.
It includes three steps. I will read and discuss them one by one.
The first step is, "If your brother or sister sins against you.
"tell them their fault, between you and them alone.
"If they accept your criticism, you have saved the relationship and spared their reputation."
How many of us do this? Jesus was saying, "Do not criticise people when they are not there."
We call that gossiping. In Bible language it was called whispering, murmuring or back-biting.
Gossiping is one of the worst evils in the world.
It has destroyed many reputations, often unfairly.
Doing that without trying to save the relationship
may be the most understated evil in the world today.
We often see gossiping as fairly harmless...easily laughed at, and unavoidable.
This first step is very practical.
Many organizations use at least pieces of it.
Even our courts require opponents to face each other, and produce witnesses
before the court can decide who is at fault in a disagreement.
When you listen privately to talk about another person,
you become an audience for slander.
That other person is judged, without getting a chance to defend themselves.
Whether you are the one slandering the person,
or you are listening to someone else who is slandering, you are both guilty.
Nine times out of ten, gossip is how most churches deal with differences.
We sing about being one in the Spirit and one in the Lord, but in secret...
we criticise each other over almost any difference in belief or behaviour.
Even congregations within the same denomination
may compete with one another in this way.
It is easy for this to happen to each of us as individuals too.
We start out sounding quite fair. We only want to solve a problem that we see
in another brother or sister.
So we wring our hands and say (a little self-righteously),
"What can we do about this brother's behaviour?"
Or, "We need to pray about this sister's behaviour."
As the talk continues, we hear stronger accusations.
It is difficult for any of us to say, "Stop!"
We cannot say it without sounding hypocritical.
Did we not start by listening ourselves?
Maybe we even added some of our own criticisms.
Gossip is most common among religious people.
Much of our identity has to do with being "nice".
Unreal "nice".
"Nice" people do not argue.
If we criticise someone directly,
an argument might arise, and we might lose a friend.
But Jesus knows we are more likely to lose a friend by talking behind their back.
Proverbs 27:6 says, "The wounds of a friend are helpful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."
Do you want to be a follower of Jesus?
Do you want to be a true friend to others?
If you do, then you need to understand that God hates gossiping, that is...
talking about people behind their backs.
How are you going to change that?
We need to take this as seriously as we would take a rule against murder or against commiting adultery.
It could make a huge difference in our lives
if we would be clearly against talking about anyone behind their backs.
Smash that sin!
Commit yourself to never doing it again.
Now for the second step: when you have talked to someone about a fault
and the two of you cannot reach agreement. Jesus said:
"If they will not listen to you, take one or two more people...
"...so there will be agreement on what is being said."
Now the complaint becomes a little more formal.
Most disagreements can be fixed privately... at the first step.
But if the other person takes strong offence at your criticism,
You have the right to bring in one or two other people to help.
Try to find someone who the other person respects.
Then go over the issues again, in front of your witness(es).
Do you know any church where this happens?
It is surprising how many times even professional counselors will say,
"Leave it with me, and I will talk to the other person."
Do not accept that.
They do it because they want to say things
that they would not say if you were there.
They want both of you to like them; so they talk behind your backs.
Do not tell your witnesses what the issues are until all of you are together.
Then you will all hear the same facts, with witnesses hearing the facts for the first time.
Jesus taught that you should all work together at finding a solution.
The people who are arguing will try harder to be fair with each other,
to convince the witnesses that they are not the cause of the problem.
The witnesses should try to be fair to both parties.
Always looking for a solution.
They cannot trick both parties into thinking that it is the other party
who is at fault, as often happens when counselors talk to people separately.
Still, the problem may not be resolved.
This happens most when one person is stubborn and proud,
refusing to hear criticisms against themselves.
That is when you need to take step three.
"If they refuse to listen, tell it to the whole church, and if they refuse to listen to the church...
"...let them be to you as non-Christians."
In other words, someone will probably
be kicked out if step three does not work.
But that mostly does not happen.
By following the three steps that Jesus taught, and by listening to all the facts,
most differences will be resolved amicably.
But, knowing that they may be kicked out,
helps most people to get serious about fixing the problem.
Most churches do have ways to kick out people who do not conform to their rules.
But usually it does not follow the three steps that Jesus taught.
If leaders decide to expel people, they usually do it as secretly as possible.
The offender cannot defend themselves, and the congregation does not hear the facts.
No one knows if the expulsion was justified.
At the same time, many real problems are ignored,
because church leaders are afraid of the people,
especially if the offender is a generous donor.
When, in the history of the church, for example, has anyone been kicked out for being greedy?
Yet the Bible teaches that the love of money is the source of all evil.
Someone has said that absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Not following the three steps that Jesus taught often results in trial by gossip,
or abuse of power, either by the pastor or by the church elders.
Even if a problem is discussed in an open church meeting,
first there will be many hours of gossip against the person
that the leaders want to expel.
It definitely is not fair.
But, of course, churches everywhere have little respect for anything that Jesus taught.
That is the subject of this series of videos.
I'm have no doubt that Jesus himself
would be kicked out of most churches. He would not even get a chance to defend himself.
Such secretive use of power contradicts what Jesus taught.
If your church does not follow the three steps that Jesus taught,
for resolving disagreements,
they probably do not follow anything else that Jesus taught either.
It is not easy to remember and follow these three steps that Jesus has given us.
But we should not give up.
We need courage to speak up when others come with talk about people
who are not present to defend themselves.
And we need more courage to face people ourselves.
If they are behaving poorly, we should lovingly correct them.
We need a replacement for churches that do not obey Jesus.
If you want to obey Jesus more than the traditions of the church,
look for others who believe the same as you.
You can write to me on this channel.
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Thank you for listening.