>>>
>>> WELCOME BACK. AS PARENTS WE SEND OUR KIDS TO
SCHOOL HOPING THEY FIT IN AND
MAKE FRIENDS BUT WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN WE ARE THE ONES FEELING
LEFT OUT WERE PICKED ON.
AND MOTHER WROTE AN ARTICLE
EXPLAINING THE CHALLENGES SHE
HAS FACED DEALING WITH OTHER
MOMS AT HER CHILD'S SCHOOL AND
SHARED HOW SHE WAS SURPRISED TO
FIND YOURSELF BEING IT --
FEELING INSECURE BEING AROUND
THEM AND DESCRIBING SOME OF
THEM AS QUEEN B MOMS.
JOINING US TO DIVE INTO THIS
AWESOME TOPIC, AWESOME BECAUSE
IT IS SAD HOW PREVALENT IT IS,
CARA KNEER -- CARA KNEER AND
BETH CAREY . WELCOME. HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU IN A FEW WEEKS.
>> VERY BUSY.
SORRY.
SORRY.
SORRY. >>
SORRY. >> SHE LOOKS GREAT.>> LOVETT.
>> I WANT TO DIVE INTO THIS
WITH YOU MOMS.
BASICALLY THIS MOM FELT LIKE AN
OUTSIDER WHEN SHE MET FELLOW
MOMS AT THE CHILD'S SCHOOL AND
FOUND IT HARD TO CONNECT.
HAVE YOU HAD A SIMILAR
EXPERIENCE?
EXPERIENCE? >> A LITTLE BIT.
BEING NEW TO A CITY -- YOU
INVEST SO MUCH TIME IN
CONVERSATION.
CONVERSATION. >> WHAT HAPPENED.
ARE YOU OKAY?
>> I'M SORRY.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ].
>> THANKS, MANDY.>> I'M FINE.
>> NO JUDGMENT.
YOU WERE TALKING.
MOVING HERE.
MOVING HERE. >> AND TRYING TO FIND A NEW
FRIEND GROUP. YOU HAVE FRIENDS
FROM GROWING UP IN COLLEGE AND
WHEN YOU HAD KIDS AND WHEN YOU
GOT MARRIED.
GOT MARRIED. I DON'T KNOW, I AM AWKWARD SO I
HAVE A HARD TIME MAKING FRIENDS
ANYWAY.>> SHE IS SO EASY TO
TALK TO.
TALK TO.
TALK TO. >> MAYBE IT'S ME AND WHAT I'M
PROJECTING.
PROJECTING. I NOTICED THAT BASEBALL GAMES
AND SCHOOL AND GETTING INTO
THAT PART OF MY LIFE, THERE ARE
WOMEN THAT ARE TOGETHER AND I
HAVE TO BREAK INTO THAT.>> WE
PUT PRESSURE ON OURSELVES TO
MAKE SURE WE ARE THE MOM WHO
DOES IT ALL.
AND HITS ALL THE STUFF.
I HAVE BEEN IN THE DECADE OF
KNOW FOR A LONG TIME.
>> GRANT IS MY YOUNGEST.
HE HAD BEEN ON THE PTA -- OR I
WAS ON THE PRESCHOOL BOARD.
WHAT IS THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF
DAYS AND HOURS YOU CAN PUT WITH
A THIRD KID.
>> AND SO -- WE DID HAVE A MOM
THAT WAS LIKE THIS AT THE
PRESCHOOL AND IT WAS FUNNY
BECAUSE ONE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS
WHO FELT A LITTLE THAT IT MADE
ME FEEL INFERIOR, ONE OF THE
OTHER ONES SAID WHAT YOU THINK
ABOUT IT MANDY AT THAT SAME MOM
WHO FELT INFERIOR IS LIKE YOU
WON'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T PUT UP WITH THAT.
MY OTHER GIRLFRIEND SAID HOW
CAN YOU TELL AND SHE SAID
BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE IT ALL UP
AND DOWN.
AND DOWN.
AND DOWN. DON'T PUT UP WITH THAT.
>> KEEP YOUR CHILD FROM GETTING
CLOSE TO THAT CHILD?
>> KNOW.
>> KNOW.
>> KNOW. I DIDN'T ACKNOWLEDGE ANY PART
OF IT.
OF IT.
OF IT. WHEN YOU IGNORE IT, IT DROVE
THE QUEEN B MOM NUTS.
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING.
THEN IT TURNED AROUND.
SHE WAS ALL UP IN MY FANNY
TRYING TO BE FRIENDS.
AND NOW YOU ARE IN HER WEDDING.
[ LAUGHTER ].
>> I FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T NEED
TO PRESSURE AND NONE OF US HAVE
TIME FOR THIS.
>> HOW DID SHE HANDLE THAT?
>> SHE DIDN'T TRY TRY TRY
AGAIN.>> THERE IS A LOT BEING
SAID HERE.
SAID HERE. ANY NEW SITUATION YOU FEEL
WEIRD.
WEIRD.
WEIRD. I
WEIRD. I DO.
I DO.
I DO. I
I DO. I FEEL LIKE I'M PRETTY
CONFIDENT.
CONFIDENT. THE OLDER IM THE MORE CONFIDENT
I GET.
I GET.
I GET. >>
I GET. >> I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
THERE ARE THOSE QUEEN B MOMS
THAT NEED TO BE A QUEEN B MOM
AND I WORK ON THIS.
IT DOESN'T COME NATURALLY
BECAUSE I CAN BE CATTY IS THE
NEXT ONE.
NEXT ONE.
NEXT ONE. I NEED TO SAY TO MYSELF WHY,
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE IN A
POSITION OF POWER.
WHAT IS MISSING IN THEIR LIFE
THAT NEEDS THAT.
MAY BE THE MARRIAGE OR THEY ARE
NOT HAPPY WITH THEIR VOCATION
OR LACK OF VOCATION. WHY DO
THEY NEED TO GET A SENSE OF
POWER THROUGH PTA.
AND WHATEVER IT IS THEN GO FOR
IT.>> I WILL SEND IN AND HELP,
I WILL EVEN LEAD IF YOU ASK ME
BUT IF YOU THINK I HAVE THE
TIME OR ENERGY TO BATTLE THIS
OUT, NO.
OUT, NO.
OUT, NO. >> IS THAT NEGATIVE BECAUSE
THERE IS A QUEEN B AT MY SON'S
SCHOOL AND WE ARE NOT
SUPERTIGHT BUT I'M OBSESSED
WITH HER.
WITH HER.
WITH HER. I HOPE HER DAUGHTER IS ALWAYS
IN CLASS BECAUSE WE GET THE
BEST TREATS AT THE BEST
PICTURES.
PICTURES.
PICTURES. SHE'S ALWAYS TAKING PICTURES.
>> IF THAT IS WHAT -- THE
VOLUNTEER PASSION TO BE A PART
OF THEIR KIDS SCHOOL AND DO ALL
THAT AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT
BELITTLING.
BELITTLING. >> I WANT TO MENTION WE WANT
YOU TO WEIGH IN.
WE HAVE A POLL, TWITTER PAGE,
ATLANDCO.
ATLANDCO.
ATLANDCO. HOW DO YOU HANDLE DRAMA?
HERE IS YOUR ANSWER.
>> PEOPLE WERE SAYING SOMETHING
ALONG THOSE LINES.
IS IT ALWAYS A NEGATIVE?
>> KNOW.
>> KNOW.
>> KNOW. I DON'T THINK SO.
I APPRECIATE THE STAY-AT-HOME
MOMS WHO WERE THE CLASSROOM MOMS
AND IN ALL THE PTA BECAUSE AS A
WORKING MOM I DIDN'T HAVE THE
ABILITY TO DO THAT.
I THINK TAKE THE TIME TO SAY I
APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU ARE
DOING.
DOING.
DOING. AND LET ME KNOW IF I CAN HELP.
I'M TIED UP FROM 8:00 TO 4:00
BUT AFTER THAT.>> AND THANK
YOU.
YOU.
YOU. THE
YOU. THE TEACHERS THANKED THEM AND WE
NEED TO THANK THEM AS WELL.
>> ANOTHER MOM SHARED A STORY
ONLINE WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS
BULLIED BY ANOTHER MOM AND THE
MOM WAS SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT
HER PARENTING STYLE LEAVING HER
ALIENATED.
ALIENATED. >> AND HUMILIATED.
GROWN WOMEN STILL DOING THIS.
THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE WAS
TALKING ABOUT THE MEAN GIRLS
MOVIE WHICH WAS CLASSIC.
LIKE THE MEAN GIRLS GREW UP.
>> DON'T YOU JUST HAVE ONE
FRIEND YOU CAN TALK TO.
WE SAY APPEAR DON'T DO THIS OR
THAT AND IT'S SILLY.
LIKE WE WILL ALL TALK ABOUT
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH FRIENDS.
SPREADING OF IT -- PEOPLE YOU
DON'T KNOW.
DON'T KNOW. LIKE A CLOSE CONFIDANT AND
BOUNCE IT OFF EACH OTHER
INSTEAD OF SPREADING
MISINFORMATION OR MAKING
SOMEONE FEEL BAD ABOUT THEIR
PARENTING DECISIONS.
PARENTING DECISIONS. >> YOU DON'T CROSS THAT
THRESHOLD.
THRESHOLD. >> OR TALK BAD ABOUT SOMEONE'S
MOM SITUATION.
MOM SITUATION. >> FOCUS ON THE KIDS.
WHAT IS BEST FOR THE KIDS. KEEP
OUR FEELINGS OUT OF IT.>>
APPARENTLY YOU HAVE TOO MUCH
TIME ON YOUR HANDS.
GET A HOBBY.
>> YOU NEED TO GET BUSY.
>> YOU FELT SO COMPELLED AND
WOULD YOU CONFRONT?
>> AT FIRST OFF IT WOULDN'T
HAPPEN WITH ME. LISA ASKED ME
THIS EARLIER WHY I HAVE NEVER
BEEN BULLIED.
BEEN BULLIED. >> MANDY IS LIKE I WOULD LIKE
TO SEE YOU TRY.
>> I THINK -- THAT WAS THE CASE
FOR ME IT WOULD BE A FLAT OUT
PUBLIC THING THAT I WOULD
COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE IN A
HEARTBEAT.
HEARTBEAT. IT WOULD NOT BE IN A GOOD
MOMENT.
MOMENT.
MOMENT. EVERYONE IS GOING TO SEE YOUR
BEHAVIOR IF YOU'RE GOING TO
PULL THIS STUFF IN THE PRIVATE
SECTOR AND PICK AND CHOOSE
WHERE YOU PUT TIDBITS OF
INFORMATION AND BE THAT WAY.
I WILL DO IT.
I WILL BE CONCISE WITH MY TIME
AND IT'S GOING TO BE A PUBLIC
FORUM.
FORUM.
FORUM. >>
FORUM. >> I'M HAPPY SHE IS ON MY TEAM.
>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
>> ALL RIGHT BATH, YOU LOOK LIKE
IF IT GOT SO BAD YOU WOULD SAY
GOODBYE FOR A MINUTE AND THEN
MAYBE AT SOME POINT YOU MAY
HAVE TO CONFRONT.
>> I WOULDN'T DO IT IN A PUBLIC
FORUM.
FORUM.
FORUM. THAT'S JUST ME.
THE OLDER I GET THE MORE
PATIENTS I HAVE.
I'M LIKE REALLY, IS IT WORTH MY
TIME AND ENERGY.
I WILL SAY AGAIN, IT IS
SOMETHING I PRACTICED AND BEING
THE OLDEST ON THE PANEL IT IS
NOT SOMETHING THAT COMES
NATURALLY OR AUTOMATICALLY.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK, CARA?
>> I DO RUNNING.
I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT.
I DON'T KNOW.>> I CALL MY
FRIEND MANDY.
FRIEND MANDY. >> LISTEN, WE WANT YOU TO
CONTINUE TO WEIGH IN.
ALSO TALK ABOUT THE BIGGEST
CHALLENGES THAT YOU'VE HAD.
I THINK AS YOU SAID WHEN YOU
THE STAY-AT-HOME VERSUS THE
WORKING SOMETIMES AND HOW COULD
WE ALL TRY TO RELATE ON SOME
LEVEL IN THE LEVEL OF OUR
CHILDREN TO MAKE IT WORK.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE YOUR
KIDS FRIENDS.
KIDS FRIENDS. WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE PLAYING WITH
THEIR KIDS, IF THEY ARE SAFE
AND HAPPY AND BEING WELL CARED
FOR, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU
PERSONALLY WON.
PERSONALLY WON. WHEN MY CHILDREN WERE LITTLE I
HAD FRIENDS AND I WOULD MAKE MY
KIDS PLAY WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS
FRIENDS.
FRIENDS.
FRIENDS. I WATTAGES -- I WANTED THE
GIRLFRIEND TIME.
GIRLFRIEND TIME. DIVERSITY IS A GOOD THING.
THEY DIDN'T GROW UP TO BE BFF
WITH MY BFF.
>> IT GOES THE OPPOSITE WAY.
OUR KIDS CAN HAVE BFF AND WE
DON'T HAVE TO BE ALL OVER THAT.