You know the legend,
but it's time to uncover the haunting truth
about The Flying Dutchman.
[laughing maniacally]
This is Bikini Bottom Mysteries.
All who live in Bikini Bottom
have heard the tale of the Flying Dutchman.
[screaming]
A notorious flirt.
You like ponies? I like ponies!
Is that a wedding ring?
With the ability to distort time, space and reality itself.
No, that's impossible!
So sure, he may seem like a run-of-the-mill spirit,
but don't be fooled, because this apparition
may not be what he appears.
Exhibit A.
Suspicious origins.
The legend of the Flying Dutchman
strikes fear into the hearts of children everywhere.
When he died, they used his body as a window display!
Now he haunts the seven seas because he was never put to rest.
A haunting story, no doubt.
But is it true?
Or could it be... a shameless lie?
There are two problems with this story.
Number one.
We're not convinced that being used as a fashion display
would even upset the Dutchman at all!
In fact, all evidence suggests that the Dutchman loves fashion.
Looking good!
He's obsessed with his fashionable dining sock.
He always carries his name brand Souls bag
He's precious about his beard.
My beard!
And he even has a perfume department on board his ship!
The perfume department!
Number two.
What if we told you we had the Dutchman on record
blatantly contradicting his own origin story.
Hmm, it's a little torn.
'Course it was the shirt I was buried in.
- He was never put to rest. - The shirt I was buried in.
Never put to rest.
How could he have been buried in that shirt
if he was supposedly never... put... buried... at all?
So is this origin story just a lie?
Mere propaganda used by Flying Dutchman apologists
to justify his horrific ghostly deeds?
Which brings us to...
Exhibit B.
Davy Jones.
All who are familiar with the legend know that the Flying Dutchman
is a servant of Davy Jones.
I'm here to escort you to the resting place
of all bad under-sea folk!
Davy Jones' Locker!
But if this is Davy Jones' locker, then where exactly is Davy?
And what's the deal with all these socks?
Davy Jones works out a lot.
These are his socks.
A likely story with only one problem.
This is the last known sighting of Davy Jones.
A skeleton in the Flying Dutchman's closet!
Excuse me, Davy.
So who's socks are they really?
Who do you know that has a strange affinity for socks?
Gimme back my sock!
Sometimes I like to wear this little sock.
Ha, it's a good thing I found my dining sock!
Let's break this down.
Here's a guy who loves socks.
There's a bunch of socks in this locker.
And the owner of the locker is a skeleton in this guys closet?
What kind of sicko would go this far just for a place to store his socks?
Maybe...
A lonely sicko.
Exhibit C.
Crippling loneliness.
Isn't it strange that SpongeBob has encountered the Flying Dutchman
over ten times?
Who dares back sass the Flying Dutchman?
That would be me!
SpongeBob BackSassPants!
Stop and ask yourself:
how many encounters with powerful, un-dead ghostly psychopomps
have you had in your life?
One, maybe two, tops?
Do you even know what psychopump is?
But it seems like the Dutchman actually goes out of his way
to hang out with SpongeBob.
He shows up randomly to teach him how to tie knots.
The pretzel nut!
He drops his anchor right on SpongeBob's house,
supposedly by accident.
And on multiple occasions he tries to make SpongeBob
part of his ghostly crew.
Could that really be a coincidence?
Or is it possible that the Dutchman isn't so evil?
Could all the haunting really just be a cry for help?
Maybe all he ever wanted was a friend.
Now, that's the Flying Dutchman I know!
After all, what good is eternity on a ghost ship
if you have no one to share it with?
What good is your own personal perfume department
if there's no one to comment on how good you smell?
And what good's a dining sock if you're dining alone?
No one but the skeleton in your closet to keep you company.
Excuse me, Davy.
So behind all the horrifying imagery,
scary stories and implications of foul play,
The Flying Dutchman might just be a lonely pirate looking for a friend.
We may never know the truth, but one thing's for sure--
[humming]
One thing's for--
[humming]
One th--
One--
Oh, forget it.
[music playing]
And now, a Bikini Bottom Bonus Mystery.
We all remember this infamous eyelash sweater.
What's this thing made of?
Eyelashes!
But we were recently informed
that it appears to be SpongeBob's eyebrows that are missing.
And he only had six eyelashes anyway!
So what exactly is this sweater made of?
And what about this one?
I made this one with my tears!
How can there be a sweater made out of water
if they're already under water?
File this one under W for:
"Why Don't You Just Make A Normal Sweater?"
Have you seen something strange under the sea?
Leave us a comment and tune in next time for more investigations
that will blow your pores, strip your scales and flip your fins!
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if the pineapple fits... live in it.