(audience applauding)
(Kelly drowned out by audience applause)
- It's nice to see you again.
- It's good to see you again.
What's up?
- Yeah. You know, I'm living my best life, Dr. Phil.
How are you? - Yeah you are, aren't you?
- Yes.
- You need to find some other stuff to do.
- (laughing) No.
You know what? That's actually a part of it though.
I only say yes to things that like really I'm interested in
and I wanna do, like, at this point in my career.
And like working with Snoop on this new show
that we're doing, it makes me so happy.
- I know.
- So like go to work and love it.
- Yeah, that's the thing.
You gotta have passion and don't do it
if you don't want to do it.
- Amen.
- You get where you can do that, you got it.
- Yeah, I know.
I'm feeling blessed.
(audience applauding)
Well, you discovered TikTok since we last saw you.
So how's that going?
- It's fun because people are getting their information
in different places, different ways,
so you gotta meet 'em where they are, right?
- Yeah. Okay.
Well, what's the TikTok challenge you're doing here
'cause this is good?
- [Dr. Phil] Yeah.
- [Kelly] First of all, I just love you're just hanging out
in the desert, like a rock star doing a video.
(audience laughs)
- Yeah, you gotta go out way in the desert
to get me to dance.
- (laughing) Where no one saw you.
- Yeah. I mean, there wasn't anybody within 30 miles
except this guy with a drone.
- I love that.
Is that fun to do?
I think those things are fun.
- Yeah, it really is.
We were out actually shooting a spot
for the launch of the season.
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- And so my son Jordan said, "Hey do this".
And I said, "What?"
And he said, "Just do it, I'll tell you later." (laughs)
- See. Sometimes just listen.
- Yeah. Really.
- See. And this is my favorite part,
this getting down, the left, right.
So wait, you also took to TikTok to tell people
how to spot a liar.
So how do you do that?
- That's really interesting 'cause there's a lot
of myths out there, but I've spent a lot
of time focusing on deception detection in my career
and there are ways to tell if somebody's lying.
- Okay.
- So watch it.
- I know.
Here's the thing, I don't feel like I lie
but I'm not good at catching them.
- Well, when people meet for the first time
there's usually 10 lies within the first hour or two.
- What?
- Yeah, when two people meet,
somebody tells a lie 10 times within the first hour or two.
- Why would you do that?
Then you gotta keep up with it.
- Well, it's just trying to impress, I guess.
But you can tell if people are lying.
Particularly, if they're being interrogated,
90% of their time their feet will be pointed
towards the exit.
- What?
- 90% of the time
their feet will be pointed towards the exit.
- I'm gonna totally watch where my feet are pointed
from now on.
- And if they repeat the question,
it's not because they didn't hear you,
they're buying time so they can formulate an answer.
And thirdly, when you hear somebody say, "I swear to God"
the next thing outta their mouth's a damn lie.
(Kelly laughing hysterically)
(audience laughs)
If they invoke the deity,
the next thing outta their mouth's a lie.
Now you gotta get a baseline and look at these things
in clusters.
But those are pretty good rules.
- So wait, what were like the best lies?
'Cause I have children and they're five and seven
so they're at the age where they do completely lie to me
to try and get out of it or blame the other.
What do your kids do sometimes?
- My kids?
- Yeah.
- Oh, their lips were moving. Yeah.
- (laughing) And you were like, "Lie"?
- Their rule is, the first one to get to mom or dad,
that's who's gonna win.
- That's my kids, and race.
- Yeah, if they knock the lamp over, first one to get to mom
or dad's gonna win. "He did it."
So it's primacy.
Get there, tell your story first,
you're gonna win every time.
Primacy's key.
- I literally had to talk to a therapist about this.
'Cause I was like, my kids, I can't get them...
and we have like a whole thing you hold
like you have the time that you're talking.
- Yeah.
- And then the other person gets to hold it
'cause it's like they feel like whoever says it first
is gonna win the argument.
And that's not the case.
- They're right.
- No. It's not the case.
- No. They're right.
(Kelly laughs)
(audience laughs)
- (laughing) It's not the case.
- You go back and score it up I'll guarantee you,
whoever got to you first, got primacy.
- Do you wanna know?
My kids are not gonna watch this,
(Dr. Phil chuckles) (audience laughs)
but what I do and you can judge me all you want,
I will say like, "Well, okay.
I'm gonna have to go look at the cameras."
There are no cameras (laughs)
(audience laughs)
And I swear to God--
- See.
(audience laughing)
- This is real.
(audience applauding)
I do. I swear to God.
I'm not lying.
Literally, it will be my son every time
and go, "No".
(audience laughs)
- (laughing) And he will out himself.
As soon as I say, "I'm gonna watch the cameras"
Remy B. Is right there.
- See what you're doing is you just planted
what's called a mind virus.
You put a mind virus in there that said,
"Oh, I'm gonna go watch the cameras"
and they go, "Oh my God, wait a minute."
They try to think, "Was I in front of the camera?
Could they see it? I don't know."
And then they start playing a game in their head,
they go, "I did it. I did it. Nevermind."
- Yeah.
- But that's called planting a mind virus.
- It's also called finding out what the damn truth is
(laughs)
- Yes. It is.
(Kelly laughing)
(audience cheering)
- 'Cause I'm like, "You're lying and I know it."
So congratulations, you and Robin...
Robin just celebrated, is it fourth grandchild?
- Yes, fourth.
(audience applauding)
- Gosh. That's cool.
Is it more fun being the grandparent?
- It really is more fun being the grandparent.
You know, it's not just a cliche that you can put 'em down
and leave.
- Yeah.
- That's really cool.
- Oh, it's (Kelly drowned out by Dr. Phil)
- And this is a fourth and it's a little boy.
And so Jordan has a little girl and a little boy
and they're just a year apart.
And his name is Grey Oliver.
- (gasps) What a cool name.
- Yeah.
- Okay. So you've said family meetings are important.
I do this with my kids.
I feel like it's more helpful for communication.
- It really is.
You know the thing I've said to people so many times
and they think it's kind of weird to say it this way
but you need to talk your kids about things
that don't matter.
- Yeah.
- Because that keeps the line open when it comes time
to talk about things that do matter.
(audience applauds)
If you're talking to 'em about just anything.
And if the first time you ever really sit down
and talk to your kids is when it's really important,
it's gonna feel awkward.
But if you've done it a lot...
And it's so important, don't sit down
and talk to 'em like we're talking now,
they feel conspicuous.
Talk to 'em while you're shooting the basketball
or taking the dog for a walk,
don't put them in the hot seat.
Do it when they don't feel so conspicuous.
That's when they start talking to you.
- Yeah.
- Don't do like, "Okay, let me tell you something."
- I find in the car--
they're chatty. - That's great.
Yeah. They can look out the window,
the radio could be playing.
Don't put 'em on the spot, but talk to 'em about anything
so when it comes time to talk to 'em about something
that really matters, they don't feel like--
- You already have that open line
- What's going on. Yeah.
- Yeah. That's great advice.
(audience applauds)
I love that.
Well, let's talk about your show.
So what are you focusing on now?
- Well, everybody's heard it
and I've been saying it for a long, long time,
but this pandemic has really taken a toll
on mental health with kids, parents alike.
But we've seen spikes in depression and anxiety, loneliness,
self-esteem worse than we have ever seen
since records have started being kept.
And everybody thought when the quarantine was lifted
everybody's gonna go racing back out like, oh, party time.
A lot of kids have really regressed and they're intimidated
by what they used to take for granted.
And they feel like, I don't know,
"Can I really do that? And am I gonna be accepted?"
And I mean, they've just kind of fallen back developmentally
and socially and educationally.
And so they're doubting themselves
and there's just a lot of issues right now.
And parents can really help
by supporting their kids, being understanding
and meeting them where they are right now.
And so we focused on the show a lot
in trying to really bring families back together again.
And I think sitting down, as corny as it sounds
and as awkward as it feels to have a family meeting,
turn off the TV or put your phones down, how you feel today?
'Cause you go to school, we teach, 'em adding, subtracting,
geography, history, but we don't teach kids how to feel,
how to manage anxiety, what if somebody's bullying you?
That's not part of the curriculum.
So we've gotta make it part of the family.
- Yeah.
(audience applauds)
I love that.
Well, May is mental health awareness month.
So what's something helpful
that you see these days in terms of mental health?
Like what's helpful for people?
- Well, I think mostly is not just awareness
but taking action.
Ask yourself what can I do in my family
that's something affirmative that we haven't been doing
before?
And if you can find something with each child...
If you've got two or three kids doing something
with the kids is one thing,
but finding something special you do
with each child that you don't do with the other children
which is just you two, really makes them feel special.
- It does.
My kids demand dates
and they don't want the other one around.
- Exactly. They want you.
- Yeah. We have dates.
- They want you and them, just you and them.
- Yeah.
- And it doesn't have to be for two hours,
even 15 or 20 minutes.
If you just have that time with them,
that makes them feel special, undivided attention,
it does so much for self-esteem
you have no idea what it is.
And it can be something silly.
I know with my kids, one of them used to like to get up
the top of the stairs and bomb his army men
with tennis balls
(Kelly laughing)
and we'd do it for 15 or 20 minutes
and set 'em up and bomb them.
And they love that.
The other one liked to play with the farm.
and I didn't do either thing with the other one.
And they loved that.
It was their special time.
They still remember it today.
(audience applauds)
- Yeah. I love this.
So is it true that you still send Oprah
two thank you letters like a year?
- I do.
Oprah and I met in the late '90s when she was in trial
and I was on the trial team
and then I started doing the show
and then started doing the show a lot.
And then we launched the show
and it really changed my life a lot.
I had a great life when I met her
and I've got a great life now, but she changed a lot
of things and it's just been really important to me
every year to stop, sit down and write her a letter
and say, "Thank you for the impact you've had on me
and my family."
And I've done it every year for 25 or 26 years.
And she told me something one time,
the first time I launched a book on her show,
I sent her like huge flower arrangement
and a thank you note and stuff.
I think she had been on the air 17 years at that point
and she called me and said, all the things I've done
all the books and stuff,
this is the first time anybody's ever said thank you.
- What?
- First time anybody's ever said thank you.
- Oh wow.
- And I thought, wow,
that's hard to believe. - That's depressing.
Yeah.
- And now I've had my show for 20 years,
I understand what she means.
- Oh man.
- I understand what she means.
And so I don't know.
I've got this value,
don't forget who brung you to the dance.
and I've never let her think
I forgot who brung me to the dance.
- Yeah. I love that.