- I'm here with Ed Asner and Whitney Cummings.
(audience cheers)
All right, y'all, it's true,
Ed Asner has lived a very eventful life.
He's been in countless movies
and hung out with the biggest stars ever.
One could say Ed has done it all, or has he?
See what we did there?
Well, it's time to find out in a game of Never Has Ed Ever.
- [Ed] Aw.
- [Kelly] Aw.
♪ Never has Ed ever. ♪
- [Kelly] Oh, nicely done, Jessie.
(laughs)
All right, so here's how--
- [Ed] Where are you appearing, Whitney?
- [Whitney] I'm sorry?
- [Ed] Where are you appearing, besides here?
- [Whitney] Where am I appearing?
- [Kelly] Right here like Glenda the good witch.
- [Whitney] On the Kelly Clarkson program.
(Kelly laughs)
- [Ed] Ah.
I wanna catch your act.
- [Whitney] I agree.
- [Kelly] You are going on tour, you're doing the...
(Talked over)
- [Whitney] I'm going on your.
Yeah you should watch this episode and find out.
(Kelly laughing)
- [Ed] You're going on tour?
- I'm going on tour, yeah.
Kelly you can head out if you want, um.
(Kelly laughs)
- [Whitney] I'm going on tour, I'm
going to do five cities.
- Cities I like?
- [Whitney] Cities you like, yeah I think so.
- She picked them specifically for you.
- Can you stay out of this?
(Kelly laughs)
- [Ed] You'll send me your itinerary won't you?
- I'll send you my itinerary.
- [Ed] Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay so here's how the game works,
our super random super computer will
generate a situation that Ed Asner
has or has not experienced.
- Huh.
- Whitney and I, well I'm just saying.
Whitney and I will guess if he has or hasn't done it.
So the most right wins.
- [Whitney] Okay.
- So I'll win.
- [Whitney] Okay.
(Whitney laughs)
- Okay, y'all ready?
(Kelly laughs)
Okay here we go, roll it.
(dinging noises)
Okay.
(Ed muffled)
Okay, never has Ed ever sang professionally.
I'm, going to say yes Ed has.
- Wink at me if you think it's a yes.
- With this eye.
(Both laughing)
- Yeah, I agree, yes.
- [Ed] You agree?
you've sang professionally.
- Have you ever sang professionally?
- [Ed] Of course.
- [Kelly] I would have said that, yes.
- [Whitney] Do we get it?
- We both, woo!
- Yes, we got it!
Do we get it?
Okay.
- Ed's a very talented man.
Ed wait where did you sing professionally?
Like when did you do that?
- I did the Threepenny Opera for two years,
- [Kelly] Wow!
- Wow!
- [Ed] For three years.
- Oh that's awesome,
- Yeah.
- [Kelly] The more you know.
Number two roll it.
(dinging noises)
Okay never has Ed ever been karate chopped by Elvis.
- Elvis Presley?
- Elvis Presley.
- I feel like it has to be a yes.
- I think it's a yes .
- [Ed] I was not hacked by senior Presley.
- What?
- That's a sneaky one.
- I was doing a movie with him,
his first I think, it was Kid Galahad.
And he was busy in his karate phase
at the time, and breaking his hands all over the place.
He was a sweet guy, very sweet guy.
- [Kelly] I'm just saying,
- He never karate chopped you?
- [Ed] Never chopped me.
- It would have been a cooler story,
but fine we're wrong.
(Whitney laughs)
Next one, go computer.
(dinging noises)
Okay never has Ed ever gone on a date with a co-worker.
- [Whitney] Times have changed.
Hold on, times have changed.
I feel like in your day you could date co-workers.
- I think you have gone on a date with a co-worker.
- On a date with a co-worker, hold on
but wait last time it was so like obvious
a yes that I feel like,
- Oh you're tricking yourself out here.
- [Whitney] I know I'm overthinking this.
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- I feel like Ed has been on a date with a co-worker.
- [Kelly] I think yes.
- Because you're a naughty person.
(Kelly laughs)
- [Ed] Who me?
- Yes.
- Oh I say yes.
- [Whitney] Yes you're a naughty, naughty person.
- Yes.
- [Whitney] I can tell.
- Yes, you have been on a date with a co-worker?
- Oh yeah.
(Kelly and Whitney laugh)
- I guess I should have made it plural.
- [Whitney] Oh yeah.
- Okay who?
Would we know them?
- That was MTM.
- Really?
- Oh what?
Oh my god the woman who was
like, "are you sure?" And then
she was like, "I am sure."
and went on a date, that's awesome I love that.
Next one here we go.
(dinging noises)
Okay, so never has Ed ever run
an illegal gambling game out of his hotel room.
- No, no I was busy using it for the strippers.
- Oh my god you're done.
(everyone laughing)
You're done, wait,
did you just say no though?
Was that a hard no?
I feel like, no you've never done that.
You said no right?
- [Whitney] Sorry I was just,
- I would not miss any chance to gamble
when I can, a hotel room is a lovely place to do it.
- [Kelly] You did?!
- Yeah.
- So Whitney says yes.
(Kelly laughing)
- I mean you are just a real,
- [Ed] Rounder.
- Yes.
Piece of work is what you are.
- That's awesome.
Whitney's got three, Kelly's got two,
we've got one more let's see it.
- Kelly,
(muffled)
I swear to god.
(dinging noises)
(Kelly and Whitney laughing)
- I really love you.
- Never has Ed ever worked with a hooker.
- Yep.
(Kelly and Whitney laughing again)
- Is any of this allowed to go on television?
- [Ed] Well you, have I...
- But wait are you saying that,
because it was like an actor, was it like a,
- TJ hooker?
- [Ed] What?
- [Kelly] No.
- T.V. show?
- [Ed] Oh a hooker.
- Like a prostitute?
- Prostitutes!
- Well whatever you want to call it.
- You work with a hooker, wait,
- And I say yes you have.
- What does worked with a hooker mean?
Does that mean a hired one?
- Or does that mean,
- [Ed] No, no, I worked with a hooker.
- So you worked with one, acting?
Like acting?
- In nineteen forty nine I worked at
the Steel male in Gary, Indiana.
- [Kelly] Okay.
- And they have a position there
for the hooker who hooks the pod up,
- Oh.
- Oh my.
(Laughter)
(Muffled)
- We are the dirty ones.
I'm not sure Ed, if any of this is arable.
- My shirts coming off, I mean fully
sorry I'm coming apart.
- Now listen Whitney, do you think
I should go back and find out who that
hooker was and tell them that,
- I think you should call them
a prostitute.
- I don't know, when I'm around you
and my clothes start coming off.
- [Ed] He's a prostitute.
- Prostitute, right.
- Yes.
Okay well here's the thing Ed, I
know you were pulling for me and
everything but I lost to Whitney.
- Oh I don't even know what's happening.
- On my own show.
- You've always got me to lean on.
(Upbeat music begins)
- Well thank you so much that was great.
And I love the confusion.
(Whitney laughs)
So for more amazing Ed Asner stories
y'all got to get his book, Son
of a Junkman y'all.
You gotta check it out.