Wow.
Welcome back to the show.
One thing 2016 taught us, apart from how to speed-read
an obituary, was that a lot of working-class white people
are upset and feel their concerns have been ignored.
Message received.
Thanks, guys.
So my New Year's resolution is to do better.
For starters, I'm officially making
my favorite season of "The Wire" that one
with all the white people.
But that is not enough, because, unlike other Americans
struggling with job insecurity, declining wages, addiction,
anxiety, and shitty schools, white people also have
to cope with discrimination.
Did you know that, only a few decades ago,
whites weren't even allowed to drink
out of black water fountains?
It's insane.
So we're dedicating a new segment
to the overlooked tribulations of white Americans.
THEME SONG: Bo-bo-bo.
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
Nobody knows my sorrow.
Nobody.
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
Glory, hallelujah.
Last week's victim was Bo Bice,
or, as our writer's AutoCorrect keeps calling him, Bob Ice.
Like most Americans, he was on a reality show
during the Bush administration.
Trigger warning-- there's some hate speech coming up.
REPORTER: Bo Bice says he was stunned last Friday when
an employee at Popeyes Chicken in Hartsfield-Jackson
made a racial comment.
Oh, oh, oh, what was it?
Wait, don't tell me.
Was it "peckerwood," "ofay," "cracker," "honky," "gweilo,"
"gringo," "hillbilly," "redneck," "hick,"
"trailer trash," "eight mile," "baba," "blowfish," "gabacho,"
"Wonder Bread," "Casper," "washisho,"
"hayseed," or "guero"?
One of the three young ladies behind the corner
said, he's already got his, that white boy over there.
Wait, that's it?
[LAUGHTER]
They didn't deny you service or dump food on your head
like it was a lunch counter sit-in?
They called you a white boy?
Let's see, OK.
You recorded a song called "Brown Skin Girl," which
I think is about trying to get a woman's attention at Popeyes?
So clearly, you're comfortable using the color of a person's
skin to describe them.
It must be the word "boy."
And yes, Timothy Olyphant's cousin is right.
That is offensive, because Bice is not a boy.
He's a man-- a grown-up, mature, adult man.
REPORTER: So he went to social media to share what happened.
If by share, you mean had a Facebook meltdown,
identified the wrong employee by name, called her a racist,
demanded an apology, threatened legal action, tagged
the local news station, and riled up
several other white folks tired of the racist double standards
that have infested our society, it's what we on white Facebook
call "starting a dialogue."
And the fact that I've got to sit on TV--
[SNIFFLE]
--and calm down a notch and look like a petty little brat
by tweeting and Facebooking this just
to open up dialogue so we can have an adult conversation
is ridiculous.
And America, you should be ashamed.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, don't worry.
I'm definitely feeling ashamed of America right now.
[LAUGHTER]
Now, look, it's easy to make fun of Bo Bice.
I mean, seriously, easy.
Half my writers are out sick this week,
so I had the office cat write me a dozen great Bice jokes.
But I'm trying this new thing where I talk reasonably
with people I disagree with.
Bo seems to want to have a conversation,
and a lot of people feel the way he does.
So I'm going to listen.
If the tables had been turned and I had to used something
and been as insensitive as to say something like that,
you're talking about that I would be boycotted.
There would be people not buying my albums.
If the tables had been turned.
Actually, I don't think the airport Popeyes has tables.
You get your $3 spicy meal, and you take it on the plane
so we can all smell it.
But you're saying you would suffer
professionally if you made racially insensitive remarks.
And that is true, or at least it used to be.
I'm honestly not sure anymore.
So if the tables were turned, let's see.
In the past hour, we learned that the store
owner has suspended the worker who made those remarks.
You mentioned her race, and you got to go on TV
and remind people that you exist and you're
a magician or something.
She mentioned your race, got suspended from work,
and lost a paycheck, which technically means she
can't afford to buy your album.
So yes, you're still the victim.
But do you know how I can tell this wasn't
systemic racism oppressing you?
Because you're 41 years old, and this seems to be the first time
you're experiencing it.
Kevin, how many acts of discrimination
are you up to today?
This is 12th, Sam.
How you going to pull me over indoors?
OK.
Good luck.
Now, you'll all be very happy to know that Bo did receive
an apology from Popeyes owner, Atlanta business leader Mack
Wilbourn, a 73-year-old black man born and raised
in Magnolia, Arkansas, where, unlike progressive Little Rock,
schools weren't desegregated until 1970.
So I'm sure Mack appreciated this teachable moment
about how it's hurtful to call a grown man "boy."
Live and learn.
He probably also wishes minor celebrities would quit using
his restaurant for their politically charged anecdotes
every time there's a fucking election.
I fly through the Atlanta Airport often.
Now, my favorite place for a quick meal on the go
is the Popeyes Chicken in Terminal B.
But in light of the Herman Cain controversy,
I realize it might not have been southern gentility but sexual
harassment.
Because the ladies behind the counter
called me "honey," "sweetie," and "darling."
OK, the only way some lady is calling you "sweetie, darling"
is if you leave 100 on the dresser.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and sorry.
I used up all my empathy on Bo, and I don't like you.
Maybe, instead of feeling at home,
I should have been offended, called a lawyer,
and demanded free spicy chicken for life.
I mean, I should have known something
was inappropriate when they asked me if I wanted
legs, breasts, or thighs.
[HUCKABEE AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
Stupid sexual harassment survivors.
How the hell did Mack's chicken joint
get picked to cater the entire arc
of the reverse victimhood narrative?
Step one, of course, is dismissing actual victims
of harassment, sexism, or racism, which clears
the way for step two, playing the victim card yourself
the moment your dainty white feelings are
disrespected in the slightest.
Academics call this white fragility.
Can I get a definition?
A state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress
becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves.
JULIE ROGINSKY: What's that mean?
I don't get it.
I truly-- I'm now reading what was on the screen,
and I still don't get it.
HOST: (CHUCKLING) Yeah.
I'm white.
I don't even understand what-- what defensive moves?
I don't get it.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Oh, I know, I know.
Is one of the defensive moves pretending not to understand
something that's relatively simple
and has just been clearly explained to you?
But, you know, then something amazing
happened on the couch of feigned female ignorance--
a respectful conversation about race.
Be honest with each other.
And be calm. JULIE ROGINSKY: But--
Just be respectful.
Ask a lot of great questions.
You stop fighting when you start talking.
Walking in other people's shoes.
HOST: Exactly.
And the reality is, as the mother of a white boy,
he's not going to be subject to certain things
that a black boy would be subjected to.
Oh my god.
Did you just call your son "white boy"?
Nice.
Just shut down the conversation with an ugly racial slur.
Wait until my Facebook followers hear about this.
We'll be right back.
[THEME MUSIC]