-One of the many things that broke my heart
about David Ortiz's retirement, being a Red Sox fan,
is it was one of my all-time favorite
"Weekend Update" characters of yours.
-Yeah. Thank you.
-So, for you to lose a great sports impression --
I was so happy last Thursday on the "Weekend Updates"
to see you play LaVar Ball.
-I mean, thank God for the world, you know.
The world just keeps... -Yeah.
The world gave you LaVar Ball. There you are.
-...giving us these characters. [ Laughter and applause ]
You know? -Yeah.
-What can you say? -Yeah.
-The guy, you know, he -- -And it's -- He's just --
-He loves his kids. -He loves his kids.
And he's pure ego. It's so funny.
-A thousand percent. -Yeah.
-He has enough ego for all 17 kids.
-And what did -- what did he say was in the shoes?
-They're made out of
South African "rhino-soceros" horn.
[ Laughter ]
Pure rhino-soceros. [ Laughter ]
-The great thing about watching it was,
when you said "rhino-soceros,"
I immediately wanted you to say it
like 10 more times in the sketch.
-Yeah. For sure. I wish we could have built it in.
-And I think you came pretty close.
-I mean, I was lucky for it to get on, in my opinion,
because they had such a great lineup with the Trump boys
and then Bill calling in and Leslie and all them, too.
So I didn't really know if it was going to make it or not.
And then they told us, like, "All the features are in."
I was like, "Okay, I got to go kill this."
-So even 15 years in, you're still backstage saying like,
"Oh, am I gonna be in the show or not?"
-Oh, I mean nothing. -Yeah.
-I mean absolutely nothing. [ Light laughter ]
15 years -- it doesn't matter, because, like,
it's all about, you know, a live show for that week --
you know what I mean?
-Do you, at least now, 15 years in --
had it not been in, would you have been crushed,
or would you have just said, "Oh, that's okay"?
-No, I was ready for it not to be in.
I was surprised that it went in.
We would have maybe tried it the next week
or wait till the show comes around.
I mean, 568 shows today for you. My God.
-Yeah. That's crazy. -You know what I mean?
-Yeah, it's not that bad. [ Cheers and applause ]
-So, I mean... -Yeah.
-"SNL" because, you know, it is such a protected place,
is very similar to that, because we always know
there's another show coming, another opportunity.
-Yeah. And you have a sense
LaVar Ball is gonna stay in the news.
-I think so. -Yeah.
-Yeah. I feel like he likes it a little bit.
-[ Chuckling ] Yeah. -Yeah.
-Well, that was the interesting thing about Scaramucci
was there was a one-week window to do a Scaramucci.
-Ohh. -And now it's already --
I'm glad Bill did it,
but I don't think Bill's gonna be dining out on Scaramucci.
-Yeah, it's not even fair, man. -Yeah.
-It was, like, you know, a fillet left behind.
-Yeah. It was like he -- -8-ounce butterflied fillet.
Sit there, because I'm not feeling --
I'm not feeling steak tonight.
-Sir, if you don't eat this soon,
there's gonna be flies all over it.
-It -- It's okay. I'll just pay and leave it.
[ Laughter ]
It's sad.
-You went to --
Dave Chappelle's doing a series of shows at Radio City.
-Yes. -And you went on Saturday,
and a lot of our -- our "SNL" friends were there.
-Oh, it was an -- it was an amazing night
because, number one, the homies were, like, opening for him.
-Yeah. -So Pete went out first.
-Pete Davidson. -He crushed it. Yeah.
And then Colin went out -- Colin Jost -- for everyone.
[ Light laughter ] And he did his thing.
And then Che went out -- Michael Che...
-[ Laughs ] Yeah.
-...like a -- like a rock star, because, you know,
he's New York, home grown, so they -- they really gave it up.
And then Leslie came out and just, like, tore the roof off.
-Yeah. There are no -- -And...
-Leslie is currently leaving no roofs on buildings.
-No. -Yeah.
-It was just -- It was just funny
to hear the people around me, like, "Yes! Work, Leslie, work!"
[ Laughter ] It was like, "Oh, yeah.
We see who's in the house tonight."
And then they reset for like 15 minutes or 20 minutes.
And you're -- you're thinking that it's just like
the typical comedy show or comedy evening or whatever.
And then Dave Chappelle just came out
like a freaking rock star.
-Wow. That's amazing.
-Like, from out of the floor, like, the smoke, the lights,
the old-school, like, arch of lights and all of that.
-Have you ever come out of a floor?
I'm realizing I've never come out of a floor.
-It's -- You know, my own personal,
but nobody's been there to watch.
[ Laughter ]
I actually do it every morning.
That's how I get up, and I present myself to my house.
[ Laughter ]
But he just came out like a star
and then immediately started, like,
tearing Trump's butthole out. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -It was -- It was awesome.
-Well, he's -- it's been interesting to read about it...
-It was awesome. -...because...
-It was that -- It was that day. -Yeah.
-It was that day that all that Charlotte stuff was going on.
And then, you know, of course he felt, like, the burden --
because when he was on "SNL" and he hosted last,
like, it was right after Trump got elected.
-Yeah, that week.
-Like, "America, give him a chance."
And he was, like, "Man, 'f' that!"
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
-I was like, "Yeah, man, I feel you."
It's -- It's crazy times.
-Well, I'm so excited for next Thursday.
I'm so excited for the season premiere.
-Yeah, man, it's going down.
-And such a pleasure to have you here, as always, buddy.
-Thank you, as usual. -Kenan Thompson, everybody.