Transcriber: Mohand Habchi Reviewer: Camille Martínez
Raise your hand if you've ever tried online dating.
Really? Hmm.
Statistically, about a third of you are lying right now.
(Laughter)
Let's try that again.
Raise your hand if you've ever tried online dating.
Nice! (Laughter)
Much better the second time.
Well, online dating is not as easy as it looks.
You've got 26 million people competing for a prospective mate's attention.
And what I want to show you today,
is that all markets are like online dating markets.
All markets, whether you're selling insurance,
or you're selling website design,
or selling yourself in an interview,
all markets function like online dating markets,
because we need to be able to get people
to fall in love with our ideas.
And I learned this over the course of three years.
I was studying the question of why we become fascinated with some ideas
and not others; of why we become captivated by some people and not others.
And I'd studied neuropsychology and biological anthropology,
but what I found, is that all the answers
are actually right here in online dating.
They're all right here in match.com.
So, in order to do this little research of mine,
I went online, and created an account.
I remember being kind of excited.
I got a profile, I got a fake username,
and I was really excited to go online
and see what it was that guys had to offer
when they were being their most fascinating,
when they were competing against 13 million other guys
for a prospective mate's attention.
And here's what I got.
(Laughter)
Let's get it ON! (Laughter)
(Laughter)
Really?
So, for example, let's take a look at this guy:
"Hi."
Thirteen million guys he's competing against:
"Hi."
And what I learned in my research, is that "Hi" is actually
a pretty common profile username.
I mean, a status update.
Because I understand,
you know, it's scary to put yourself out there,
and "Hi" is safe, and it's comfortable,
and it's neutral.
The problem is that "Hi"
is the exact same as everybody else out there.
So when somebody puts "Hi" up there,
like this "Hi" guy--we'll name him 'Ed'--
when Ed puts himself out there,
he may be a great catch.
In fact, let's say Ed could be the perfect catch
for one woman on this dating website,
but in order for him to be able to connect with her,
in order for him to be able to find his true love
and his 'happily ever after',
he's going to have to captivate her,
at least for a few seconds.
And before this can happen,
Ed is going to have to overcome certain challenges,
that all of us have to overcome;
and the first problem that Ed has,
is that he has competition.
He has
a lot of competition.
Now, competition wouldn't be so difficult
say, if you were, the hottest guy on a website.
I mean, if you are -The- in any category,
you can afford to be boring.
If you have -The- biggest budget or -The- lowest price,
But unless you are -The- hottest guy on the website,
(Laughter)
you probably shouldn't go with "Hi."
Now Ed's other problem that makes competition so difficult,
it's that he's not the only guy there.
I mean, even if you close your parameters down
to Ed's age, and geography, and his set of preferences,
he's still directly competing against 1,000 other guys in his area.
But what if you could diminish that?
What if you could lessen the options?
What if you could make it 100 guys that he's competing against,
or maybe it's just him?
Maybe match.com would just have one guy.
How would that be?
Well, the problem is that most of us aren't operating in a monopoly.
Most of us are not a category of one.
And the lesson is this:
It doesn't matter how amazing a guy is in online dating,
if nobody knows.
It's doesn't matter how incredible your ideas are,
if nobody knows.
It's doesn't matter if you're the most brilliant blogger,
if nobody reads what you post.
It's doesn't matter if you manufacture the best cars,
if nobody buys them.
It's doesn't matter if you're the most brilliant politician,
if nobody votes for you.
We don't live in a vacuum.
Creativity does not operate in a vacuum.
We have to be able to share our ideas.
And the second problem that we face is not just competition,
but it's distraction.
Now, distraction wasn't a problem a generation ago,
or even, say, 100 years ago when we were living on the farm.
Our attention spans were 20 minutes long,
that was 1 minute for every year that we were old.
But our attention spans have gotten shorter,
and shorter, and shorter, and shorter, until now
neurologists say that our brains are literally rewiring.
They're rewiring so quickly,
that we're not just learning to think faster,
we're learning to think smaller.
Today, the BBC has released a report,
that says the addictive nature of web browsing
can leave you with an attention span of 9 seconds.
Nine seconds is the same attention span as a goldfish!
(Laughter)
So what this means,
is that you have 9 seconds to 'captivate' in an online dating profile.
It means Ed has 9 seconds, or else
his prospect is going to swim away;
it means that we have nine seconds when we're making an introduction.
This is kind of a scary thought, right?
Raise your hand if you think this is a scary thought.
Really scary.
True love can't happen in 9 seconds.
A connection can't really happen in 9 seconds.
You can't get a job in 9 seconds.
You can't launch a product in 9 seconds.
But introductions do happen in 9 seconds.
Introductions do, every single day.
And the introduction is the door,
and those first nine seconds are when you're knocking on the door.
And if you knock on the door in the right way, and the door opens,
then you can have the bigger conversation.
Then you get to start the relationship.
Then you get to start the connection.
You get to start the company, you get to start the movement--
whatever you want to start.
So it's difficult,
but in a competitive and distracted environment,
we all need to learn how to compete.
But the good news is, that Ed can compete.
He can win in a 9-second world,
and so can all of us,
if we understand our natural fascination talents.
So what could we do to Ed's profile
to take it from being: "Hi"
to something that's a little bit more fascinating?
Say, for example,
that Ed's profile said this:
"I have a tan, all my teeth, and can I easily see my belly button.
I read books without pictures, I watch movies with dialogue,
and I don't consider KFC an ethnic food.
I'm looking for a girl who appreciates the finer things in life
but is willing to settle for me."
(Laughter)
Are you fascinated to meet this guy?
Well actually, you can meet this guy.
Because the truth is, I wasn't researching online dating.
I was searching for love.
And this profile is what Ed said, and it fascinated me.
Today, I would like to introduce you
to the man who's going to become my husband in three months, Ed.
(Laughter)
(Applause)
Hold on. I'm a little verklepmt.
(Laughter)
We all have this ability to fascinate built within us.
We all do.
Sometimes it gets beaten out over the course of childhood,
or the course of learning how to be creative.
But we all have it.
We have these talents.
And the brain is actually hardwired to receive fascination.
We want to be fascinated.
Our brains crave fascination.
And there's this part of the brain,
that actually, if we can figure out how to activate it,
we can shortcut the decision-making process.
We can go from it being a 10-step process
of "Should I pay attention to that?"
or "Should I buy that?"
so that, if we can hit it, the answer is "Yes!"
And the answer comes immediately, the answer comes within 9 seconds.
There are very specific mechanisms that allow us to do this:
Behavioral motivators.
I call them 'triggers'.
These triggers are instruments,
so if you can activate the trigger, you immediately earn the attention.
There are seven of these fascination triggers.
You have seven of these triggers.
And the triggers are:
Power, Passion,
Mystique, Prestige,
Alarm, Vice,
and Trust.
And every trigger creates a different type of response.
So the Alarm trigger, for example, pushes us for urgency.
The Passion trigger, pulls people close
and heightens their emotion.
Let's take a look at them one by one.
So, if you fascinate with Power,
you will take command.
You'll take command of your environment, the way Google does;
the way TSA at the airport does.
If you activate with the Passion trigger,
you will attract with emotion.
The Passion trigger is irrational.
It's all about an irresistible attraction.
There was just an article in the New York Times
that said the reason people are buying the iPad 2,
is not for rational reasons,
but because of an emotional attraction.
That's the Passion trigger at work.
Our third trigger is Mystique.
Mystique is about arousing curiosity,
like the television show "Lost".
We want to fill in the blanks.
We want to know the answer to the puzzle.
Our fourth trigger is Prestige.
Prestige increases respect.
It's aspirational.
It's "I want that."
"I want to do that." "I want to be that."
Or "I want to buy that."
Prestige elevates.
Next, is Alarm.
Alarm is about driving urgency.
It's what Federal Express uses.
"It absolutely, positively has to be there overnight."
I don't want to pay taxes,
but I pay taxes because the IRS uses the Alarm trigger.
Because I don't want to eat prison food.
Next, we have Vice.
Vice is one of my favorite triggers.
Now, you would think that Vice would be about
scoping your Facebook profile during a status meeting,
eating a third Krispy Kreme,
or smoking that, "I only smoke when I drink" cigarette.
But actually, Vice is different;
Vice is the trigger of creativity,
because creativity comes from being able to see something
in a counter-intuitive way.
Here's the status quo, how everybody thinks about it,
and with the Vice trigger,
you turn it upside-down into something different.
You deviate from the norm.
So anytime you're surprised
or anytime somebody reinvents the norm,
they're using the Vice trigger.
Like for example, Groupon. When they reinvented how coupons work,
they were using the Vice trigger,
and that's why we're fascinated.
Finally, the Trust trigger.
The Trust trigger builds loyalty.
It builds connection through consistency and stability.
The Trust trigger is Boy Scouts,
or Brooks Brothers, or Johnson and Johnson.
I know it's not going to be different next year, than it is this year.
Now, brands intentionally activate all seven of these triggers every day.
But so do people.
And you do it in your own personality,
without even realizing it.
You use all seven of these triggers every day:
The Alarm trigger,
when you're trying to get your kids to clean their room.
You use the Passion trigger when you're pulling your friends close to you.
You use the Prestige trigger
when you're earning respect at work.
But there's one trigger that you use more than any other,
and I call this your Primary trigger.
You Primary trigger is the one
that you're doing or being without even realizing it,
when you're being your most persuasive.
And there's a Secondary trigger.
The Secondary trigger lies up under the first one,
and that influences how you're being your most persuasive.
Now, many of you here today took my F-Score test,
and the F-score test is designed
to show you how personal brands work.
So for example,
--now, Donald Trump is an easy one--
Donald Trump is clearly the Power trigger
plus the Prestige trigger.
This combination is called the Perfectionistic Powerhouse.
Big personality, big ideas, long-range goals.
But let's try this on a different well-known personality.
Steve Jobs is what's called the Change Agent Combination.
Steve Jobs uses Power and Vice,
the classic combination for entrepreneurs.
The Power is the strength to get things done,
to have a big vision.
But the Vice trigger, remember, is about surprise;
it's about reinvention,
it's about changing the status quo.
Next, Mark Zuckerberg.
Now, Mark uses a very different type of combination.
Mark uses Mystique.
The Mystique trigger makes us curious.
We know he's powerful.
We know he's strong,
we know he exerts tremendous presence over our environment,
but we don't know what he's going to do next,
and that fascinates us about his personal brand.
Next.
Lady Gaga.
She is Mystique and Vice.
And this combination is called the Provocateur.
It's exotic.
It's unexpected.
We all watch to see exactly what she's going to do next.
Because it's surprising, which is the Vice trigger,
yet unpredictable, which is the Mystique trigger.
Seth Godin is Prestige-Vice.
This is the Tastemaker combination.
Very high goals.
Highly aspirational.
It's inspirational to watch what it comes up with,
but it's changing the way the game is played.
He not only has high standards,
but he has different standards.
(Laughter)
This combination is called the Fire Starter.
Now, Oprah uses the Passion trigger.
The Passion trigger
is all about warmth and humanity and involvement and participation.
The Passion trigger is the one that makes people want to be close.
But the Trust trigger is the one that makes them want to stay,
and this combination is the Consistent Nurturer.
Richard Branson has an awesome combination.
It's Passion plus Power.
And this is the Intuitive Visionary.
It's expressive. It's emotive.
It's understanding how people work.
It's great at reading body communication.
This combination tends to be great at presentations,
tends to be incredibly likeable;
we want to spend time with them, but we also respect them.
And this is also the combination of this group,
of you taking the F-Score test.
Your number one trigger was Passion,
by a greater margin than I've ever seen from any other group.
64% of you have Passion as your number one trigger,
or number two trigger.
Give yourselves a round of applause.
(Applause)
Before I leave you,
I just want you to understand how you can enact this.
The first thing is, harness your first nine seconds.
Harness that.
We grew up with a fallacy.
We grew up being told, "Build a better mousetrap,
and people will beat a path to your door."
This is not true anymore.
It's not enough to have a better mousetrap.
It's not enough to have a better idea if nobody knows it's there.
So in your first nine seconds,
--don't waste those nine seconds, planning to dole out the good stuff later--
take advantage of that.
Second, use your natural fascination talents.
This isn't something you have to invent.
You don't have to artificially bolt-on what makes you fascinating,
but you do have to identify it, and amplify it,
and express it, and become more of it.
And finally, make people fall in love with your ideas.
You can't rationally convince somebody to fall in love with you
or with your ideas,
but you can fascinate them.
When you leave today,
I want you to think about your next message,
your next introduction,
whether it's a tweet, or a memo, or a bedtime story,
or a proposal for venture capital funding,
or a love-letter.
Whatever it is, don't just communicate.
Don't just try to be remembered and heard,
but make people fall in love.
Thank you very much.
(Applause)