-Bridget Everett, welcome back to the show.
-Hi, Jimmy. How are you?
-I'm fantastic. You look fantastic.
I always love when you're here. -Oh, is it too much?
No. It's just perfectly enough.
It's just perfect. -I just want everybody
to feel like they're home with their mom,
you know, their little babies.
-Yes, and that's the way everyone's feeling right now.
[ Laughter ]
How -- How have you been? Everything good?
-Oh, everything's great, Jimmy. I mean, life couldn't be better.
-Yeah, right. -Everything's great.
-It's good. Yeah. I just saw --
Did you sing for Amy Schumer's wedding, at her wedding?
-I did sing. I sang at her wedding.
-That was nice of you.
-Well, I like to sing at somebody's wedding,
'cause then I don't have to get them a present.
-Ah! Ah, see, you're very smart.
-But I sang my favorite --
It's actually both of our favorite love song.
It's called "That's All."
If you don't know it, you can see --
It's in the last episode of "I Love Lucy"
where Desi and Lucy hate each other
but there's still love in the room.
And, you know, it sort of makes you a believer, right?
-Yeah. I agree. -But -- But, Jimmy.
I also saw some pictures from the party.
There was a karaoke after party. -Oh, yeah.
-And I guess I sang at that, too.
[ Laughter ]
I don't remember, but I always like to say, you know,
I may not remember it, but I know I had a real nice time.
[ Laughter ]
-You don't remember doing the karaoke?
-No, I don't.
[ Laughter ]
But that's when you know you're really in the zone.
-You are. -When you black out.
-No, no, no. That's not true.
-I didn't black out from the drinking.
It was the show biz.
It might have been both, but it felt great.
-Yeah, no. But you have --
You are like a karaoke master,
because you have your songs, right?
What are your -- Do you have your go-tos?
Yeah, like, "Piece of My Heart" and "The Climb,"
which I've sung on this show before.
-Oh, fantastic. -And I --
You know, like, whenever I'm at, like, a karaoke bar or a party,
people are like, "Oh, Bridget, sing, sing, sing."
I'm like, "No, no, no."
But after I have three glasses of wine
and somebody sings one of my signature songs,
I'm like, "Play it again!"
[ Laughter ]
-"Let me show you how it's done!"
Like, "Oh, my God."
-But, you know, I'm single.
[ Laughter ]
-The show is coming back to Joe's Pub this summer.
-Yeah, yeah.
-Bridget Everett and The Tender Moments.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Now, what is --
The Tender Moments is... -The Tender Moments is my band.
But I call it that because when my niece was little --
my niece Bailey was little, she used to fall asleep on my chest,
and I was like, "Oh, oh, this is --
this is human connection," you know?
This is, like, what it feels like to be,
you know, loving another person.
So the band is The Tender Moments
as sort of a nod to my family.
Is that too tender?
-No, that's so sweet!
Are you kidding? Come on!
-But don't get me wrong, the show is not --
It's not really family friendly in the traditional sense.
-It isn't? No?
-Well, it's like --
sort of like a rock-'n'-roll cabaret hurricane.
It's definitely, like, a little sexual.
But if my mom can look me in the eye after it, so can you.
[ Laughter ]
-Your mom has seen the show, and she --
-She did. She came to New York, finally.
You know, she's 82 years old. She rides around in a Jazzy.
She's a retired schoolteacher. -Aw, hi, Mom.
-And it's pretty blue. The show is a little dirty.
But there's also some, you know, tenderness and stuff, too,
like I said, but -- -Give me an example.
-Well, I have this song that's sort of a sing-along.
She'll, like, get up and get people singing at the end.
It's called "What I Got to Do --"
I don't know if you can say this on "The Tonight Show."
"What I Got to Do to Get That D in My Mouth?"
[ Laughter ]
So...
So the audience...
[ Laughter ]
-No, we can't say say that on "The Tonight Show."
-She takes her cane, and she starts...
-I got to clear my Google.
-♪♪ What I, what I, what I got to do ♪♪
♪♪ What I gotta do to get that D in my mouth ♪♪
Everybody!
♪♪ What I, what I, what I got to do ♪♪
-No, don't sing along.
-♪♪ What I gotta do to get that D ♪♪
-All right. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
She's a music teacher.
It's about bringing people together, Jimmy.
You should come and sing with me sometime.
-Oh, I would like -- Why, I would never actually --
-We don't have to do that song. -Oh, my God, I would love to!
-We can sing, like, something from "Camelot."
I don't know. -Yeah! Sing some "Camelot."
Thank you for -- You just came from L.A.
-Yeah. -You're doing a new show.
What is this?
-I'm filming a show for HBO called "Camping,"
written by Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner.
It stars Jennifer Garner and... -Yeah!
-...Juliette Lewis and David Tennant,
some real, like -- real stars and me.
-No, and you. I mean, come on.
-Well, I'm getting a nice tan. I love it.
-You've been doing this -- You have a good career.
Look, this one of your... -Jimmy!
-...head shots I found.
This is Bridget Everett.
That is your head shot from --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's --
-♪♪ What I, what I gotta do ♪♪
♪♪ What I gotta do to get -- ♪♪ Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Different -- Different character there.
-She was in there. She was in there.
She didn't know it yet. -No.
This person wouldn't know that song at all.
[ Laughter ]
-I wanted to look, you know, professional.
You know, my friend Seth
says I look like a D.A. in this picture.
[ Laughter ]
I thought if I got a nice tight bob,
somebody's going to hire me, but...
-Did it work? -Well, once.
I was the mother in a children's theater tour
of "Hansel and Gretel."
I'm a wonderful mother, as you can imagine.
-Yeah.
-But I printed up 100 of those, and I still have like 97.
-Dude, I do, too! -Do you really?
-Yes! 'Cause you get stuck.
You go, "It's cheaper if I get 100.
100 people should know who I am."
And you only mail out three.
You're like, "I can't afford stamps."
Three, exactly. I've got 97 left.
But I've got one for everyone here tonight!
-Yes! Everyone's getting a head shot!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I'm kidding. They're all in Mr. De Niro's dressing room.
[ Laughter ]
-We actually got your résumé, as well.
It's on the back of your head shot.
We did some sleuthing, and we found this.
This is fantastic. We took your phone number off.
-Yeah. -That was up top.
-That's all fake news. I mean, everything.
-This is all -- You did not -- -Oh, the birthday is real.
Thanks for not blocking that out.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I'm so sorry.
-Like, Jimmy. -I'm sorry about that.
-These Manhattan, Kansas, credits,
like, I'm 30 at this point when I printed this up.
'Cause it took me a while to get to New York.
But those are high school musicals.
From my high school.
-That counts, doesn't it? -But it's a lie.
'Cause I never was in "Annie," and I was never Miss Hannigan.
-Wait, what?
[ Laughter ]
Why, because you thought you could do it?
-I thought, "That'll do it.
That's what's going to get 'em. They'll hire me now."
-Well, we're redoing "Annie."
If you already done it, might as well do it.
But you did not do that.
-And then, like, special skills, like --
-Oh, I love that. Dialect.
-Softball or something. I don't know.
Oh, dialects. I can't do dialects.
I can't. -But that's your first --
-Robert De Niro is in the building. Please.
-But that was your first special skill that you listed is --
-Yeah, I guess I'm full of, you know.
-Baloney. -Baloney. Thank you so much.
-Thank you. -I do have one, though.
It's called pan-English. Do you know pan-English?
-No. -Yeah, nobody does.
'Cause it doesn't exist. -Oh, good.
What's pan-English?
-Well, it's sort of like, um --
It's one word, and it's just extraordinary, and so --
[ Laughter ]
-Wait, that's --
-So if you needed me to come into a scene and just --
-Yeah, I go -- -That's extraordinary.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Wow, that is fantastic.
If you need that,
Bridget Everett can do pan-English.
-This water is extraordinary.
-Extraordinary. Extraordinary.
-I just chipped my tooth.
-Are you --
[ Laughter ]
-I go hard.
-You go hard, man. -I go hard, Jimmy.