- In this video, I'm gonna be reacting
to an article that claims
you can use the law of attraction to attract your ex back.
So I'm gonna go through this article.
I'm gonna show you what may be true,
what maybe not be true,
what is healthy, what might not be healthy
and exactly how you can actually go about this process,
if it's really your true deep down desire.
Now, first off, I'm just on Google
and there's an article on how to use the law of attraction
to get your ex back.
And right when I'm going down, what I see,
when I'm going down
I see that of it's talking about the basic rules
of the law of attraction,
but then it talks about that
of using positive affirmations.
So it says that using affirmations
like one thing you might do is you might put the name
of your ex and I are meant to be together.
So if this person, if their name was Brad, you would say,
Brad and I are meant to be together.
Or you would say, I am getting back together with Brad.
Or you would say, I truly love and respect Brad.
Or you would say,
I'm getting back with Brad sooner than expected.
You would say, I am grateful
for having Brad name of your ex, in your life.
I feel connected to Brad on a deep level.
These are all affirmations
you could say to get Brad back.
Now, while at a certain level,
we do experience in life
a reflection of what we believe to be true,
one of the things that happens is if we are one,
putting someone on a pedestal
and we are telling ourselves and we are affirming
to ourselves, energetically, these affirmations,
normally what ends
up happening is by affirming these affirmations,
we're actually emphasizing that that person is not here now.
That's the first thing.
So even though you're saying the words,
Brad and I are meant for each other,
first off you might also be creating
there with that affirmation,
you might be creating this story
in your mind that we are meant for each other,
which then you're putting importance on it working out
and you're sending them all this energy.
Like don't you know Brad, we're meant to be together.
We're one with each other.
We're the other halves to each other's soul.
And by having that level
of energy that you're projecting out,
it is repelling Brad.
Brad maybe would come around
and would actually like be engaged with you again.
Maybe that engaged, but you know,
like be interested again.
If the energy were pulled back,
so one of the things
you wanna do is you actually wanna pull your energy back.
You wanna put the energy that you were projecting at them.
You wanna bring it back inside of your body
and you wanna focus it on your own life.
You want to focus it
on with your friends and your own purpose.
You wanna focus on like,
doing your own inner work, your own inner worthiness.
Because when you are projecting it outwards,
you're diffusing your own energy.
And one of the things that really creates a lot
of resistance is the stories we tell ourself
about the person that is the object of our desire.
So if you're desiring Brad
and you're saying these affirmations
like we're meant to be together,
Brad and I are meant to be together,
what you're doing is you're creating a lot of importance.
You're creating this story that is also based on scarcity.
Think of that.
If you are in abundance, you would more so be like
you might have this unconditional love for Brad,
but you also understand
that Brad has his own decisions to make.
And if Brad doesn't choose you,
you have the sense of self-worth
and self validation to know
that you will still find somebody
that you have a very deep connection with.
Do you see the difference there?
When we put someone on a pedestal
and we tell ourselves a story
that this is the one person meant for us,
we create scarcity.
We're in scarcity.
We're not actually letting go.
And I would say that the most powerful thing
you could do is to actually let them go.
Now, when I say, let them go, you may even think, okay,
I'm gonna let them go because I'm gonna get them back.
The thing is is if you're letting them go,
to get them back, it doesn't really work.
It can, but it doesn't really.
You wanna let them go because it's what's best for them.
If they come back, they may choose to come back,
but you let them go,
not because you they're gonna come back
'cause that's called manipulation.
You let them go because it's what's healthiest.
It's what the situation calls for itself right now.
It's what's obviously is like the path
of least resistance in the moment.
And sometimes the reason we're avoiding letting someone
go is because we're avoiding,
going into the emotions that are coming up.
It's almost like, well, if I can just hook them back in
and get them back then I won't feel this pain
this abandonment and what actually might be
the deeper issue here is that that abandonment you feel,
the loss and the rejection that you might feel,
maybe what you felt when you were a kid,
it may be a familiar energy that you're fighting for.
And because of all this energy being sent towards Brad
or whoever it is, it's all this energy that's being,
that's being diffused.
And it's also literally repelling the person
because energy when you're thinking of someone
and you're feeling resistance,
you're literally sending them energy.
So pull your energy back.
Not because you're gonna get them back,
pull your energy back,
because you deserve it, because you're worthy
of just having your own energy and focusing on your own life
and focusing on your own ecosystem
and your own self worthiness.
So that's the first thing this talks about is it talks
about positive affirmations.
I'm not a big, I'm honestly not the biggest person
for using affirmations.
I believe that the words you say,
more important than the actual words you say,
are the meanings of those words.
And the meaning you could say
is the beliefs you have about it.
So the belief, the meaning of the words is important.
Because some words you may say
may mean different things to different people.
But in general, I believe my, for myself,
I guess that my beliefs,
if I focus on my beliefs
and I rewire and I let go of negative beliefs,
that works better for me than saying, I am worthy.
I am enough.
Brad and I are gonna be best buds or whatever, okay?
And the key to this is becoming aware
of those beliefs.
Positive affirmation a lot of times,
reinsert that you're not there.
You're not good enough.
It's putting resistance on what is
and there's a lack of acceptance.
The truth is you might have to accept
that Brad is doing his own thing.
And maybe, just maybe,
Brad was one of many other soulmates you could have.
You could have.
He's not the one that's meant for you.
He was meant for you in that moment.
And maybe in this future moment,
maybe he will be meant for you, but maybe not.
I'd say most likely not.
But the story you tell yourself
about Brad is what's actually hard to let,
was hard to let go of,
because that story may feel familiar.
And a lot of times it'll feel familiar
to the same childhood dynamics
that were active when you were a kid.
Alright?
That's the first thing, boom.
That's the first thing I wanna say.
Okay, second one, visualization.
So this powerful technique involves
creating images or scenes in your mind
after you and this person.
After a breakup,
the thought of your ex excites negative emotions
such as hurt, sadness, anger, which is probably true.
So when you're visualizing this person,
you're probably thinking, ooh, Brad didn't come around.
Brad is not here right now.
And then you'll normally remember the good times,
you're like I remember when Brad and I went on a date
and Brad bought me ice cream and Brad and Brad
and Brad, freaking Brad, okay?
So Brad and this is using visualization.
Now, what is more important?
What is more valuable, I believe, than visualizing?
The actual Brad is visualizing yourself being happy,
visualizing yourself doing what you love for a living,
visualize yourself feeling grateful
for what you already have.
Visualize yourself, happy and visualize the qualities.
If you're gonna visualize a partner,
instead of visualizing Brad,
visualize being with someone that has the qualities
that are in alignment with you.
So you might want like an emotionally available person.
You might want somebody that thinks of you.
You might want somebody that is present.
You might want somebody that does fun things with you.
Imagine yourself doing those things,
but you don't necessarily
have to get so specific on that is Brad.
Brad is that one person that will do and play golf with me.
There may be more people than Brad.
So don't think of just Brad.
Think of the values that you want to attract
in someone else and the key is actually
to live according to those values.
I'll tell you, I've said this in many videos,
but I've always attracted my,
he women that I always attracted,
ended up always being a reflection of my energy.
So if I was in a nine to five job I hated,
I'd attract women that also worked
nine to five jobs they hated.
If I was working and doing what I loved
and I'd only attract women that do what they love.
So you want to be the most authentic version
of you that lives according to the values that you love,
that you choose to live by.
And by doing that now, you will then attract people
into your life that live by those same values.
It'll be a one-on-one reflection, a vision board.
I'm not a big fan of vision boards, either.
Some of you might.
When you look at a vision board
it makes you feel a certain way, then that's awesome.
But I believe that every,
I believe that within a 24 hour period,
if every single day you do something
you're passionate about,
you meditate for 10, 15 minutes in the morning,
10, 15 at night,
15 minutes at night,
you become aware of your negative beliefs.
You act on your passion and you do these things,
I think that's way more powerful than a vision board.
And if you put your x on your vision board,
you're very much limiting yourself.
The universe is so vast,
but by thinking of just your ex,
you're putting it in this like very specific spot
where you're literally becoming blind
to other ways that you could attract different people
that may even have a better connection than with Brad.
Now, meditation is the next thing that says,
I agree with meditation.
What you wanna do is meditate.
Put the awareness and here's one
of the most powerful magnetic things you could actually do
that is very simple.
What you do is you put your energy
in your hands and in your feet and your body.
You feel the separation between you and the walls,
you and your computer, you and your candle flame,
if you're standing on a candle flame.
By feeling safe in your own body,
you're bringing your energy back.
And what you end up doing is you end up
instead of and when you go out, even,
like I've done this before in public.
It works like magic.
And I've taught this technique
to thousands of people on YouTube and stuff.
And people do this.
And I get messages all the time
from people that say, I've done this.
And it actually works.
Put the awareness in your body and focus on the separation
between you and other people when you're out,
instead of trying to connect with them
and getting their approval or validation
or them to say something to you,
be present, be still and feel inside of your body.
That breeds presence.
And I'll tell you what, presence is magnetic.
And a lot of times
the reasons we fighting for an ex
might be because there's a codependent energy
there that feels safe,
with that energy active.
So seeking someone else's validation,
seeking someone else's approval is a codependent
behavior that stems from childhood,
because in childhood that's maybe
what you had to do to receive love
and to get your needs met growing up.
You had to seek it.
You had to try to get it.
When you start really building your own sense
of self worthiness by letting go of the shame,
letting go of believing you're broken,
you will then be totally empowered in a completely new way.
That's what I had to do.
I had a lot of shame believing I was broken.
And when I would date someone,
it was literally like I believed I wasn't worthy.
And it was like, I was fearing the end
and I would energetically butcher it up.
But then I started looking at this and started realizing
that I was holding myself back from being the real me.
Instead of being the people pleaser, the nice guy,
I started to be vulnerable,
which means showing the real me, which means not being nice
and people pleasing.
And then expressing the real me,
showing sexual intent, like desire for someone else,
instead of just being the nice guy,
the friend for so long,
being like no I'm attracted to you
and having that kind of energy,
changed everything about the dynamic,
because now I was being more real.
The thing with vulnerability is some people
they're not vulnerable
because they're afraid of getting rejected.
But the thing is, is when you're being the real you,
you're living according to your own sense of frame,
you're in your own body.
You're being the real you.
That is the most magnetic thing you can do,
but you're not being the real you and being vulnerable
'cause you're gonna attract love.
You're being it 'cause it's who you choose to be.
Another thing that says
in this article is express gratitude.
I think that can be very powerful,
feeling grateful for what's already in your life.
I would not focus on the ex and all that stuff.
Focus on like what you're already grateful for.
Being healthy, being alive.
Make it general.
It makes it a little bit easier.
Helpful hints to get your ex back, helpful hints.
It says the most vital step
after breakups to forgive your ex as well as yourself,
irrespective of who you blame.
I think that is actually true.
I mean, you could forgive your ex.
A lot of times, I think we have a story
that it's someone else's problem.
Like this person didn't understand my value.
This person doesn't know they're my,
this person's my deep soulmate.
And they're just the other half to my soul.
And they're running.
They just don't know all of this stuff.
Remember that meaning that you're infusing,
which is a form of affirmation,
is creating more heaviness and it's actually
creating much more
resistance than anything else.
It says the no contact rule.
The no contact rule is a very powerful rule.
The no contact rule is where you pull
your energy back and you stop,
like even when you break up with somebody,
there's energetic cords between you and that other person.
And every time you think of this person,
it's like you're energetically tapping
into their energy.
When you contact them and you're texting them,
you're looking at their social media or whatever.
You're you're intermingling energy.
The no contact rule is you completely stop contact.
It's one of the most powerful magnetic qualities
you can have.
It's this thing that works more powerful than
anything I've ever seen work, but you have to do no contact.
Not because you're gonna get them back,
but you have to go no contact because you need to feel
safe in your own frame and really tap into your own energy.
So this is something that I highly recommend you tap into.
And if you wanna learn about the no contact rule,
it's one of the most powerful things you can learn.
Check out this video right here and watch how
it changes your life.
What is called no contact is one of the most
powerful processes or energies
that you can infuse into what you're experiencing,
if you find it hard to let go
or if you find that the more you try to make
something work with somebody, the more it butchers up.