What I like about this video is every time I turn to look at the TV
they'll have to be confronted with the fact that I have a mohawk
"Oh so that's the real reason you're doing this"
L o o k ehuhuhuhuhuh
Hey you! My name is Thomas "TomSka" Ridgewell and welcome to the presentation game!!
we had an idea... for a game! is it original? I don't know and I don't care because this is CONTENT!
I went on Twitter and asked you send in a bunch of random images whatever you felt
like and Eddie's picked a bunch of them out he's loaded them up and he's given
me some scenarios and basically I have to make a coherent presentation based
off the images in whatever order they come up in I haven't seen any of these I
don't know what's happening and this could be a disaster... like my life
[sigh]
here we go
all right Eddie what is my first presentation about
"you're a politician responding to allegations whilst desperately trying to save his career"
okay hold on I need to um
"THIS ISN'T THE PROP GAME TOM'
"FUCK YOU"
duh dun duh dun
"Wow just for that joke"
I MEAN IT WAS.. EXERCISE THAT I NEEDED
where should i put this...
"It's not just gonna stay there"
SHUT UP
YOU DONT KNOW!
AMERICA
get out of here America
"wow this has been a good gag... destroying the entire"
"C O N T I N U I T Y"
my fellow Americans I'm here today to apologize sincerely
and truly for the recent allegations made against me which unfortunately are
true now of course when I say allegations I am referring to this.
horse.
I fucked this horse I needed some of that good horse puss
I'll admit it I'm a man I'm flawed we all are we all make mistakes now I know
what you're thinking why did I do it well this is why
my wife ascended to heaven four years ago I haven't seen her since I am so horny that I would do
anything I mean the last time I wanted to get laid I put my penis in this
skeleton... as illustrated here before that this is how I got my rocks off
now I know what you must be thinking sir what can you possibly do to atone well
I'm gonna show you my three-step plan to earning back your trust
step 1.
this man right here
I've killed him.
you know him as the famous war criminal, Jimmy John Jr.
who fucked 8 kids
number two
I promised to never fuck
another inanimate object as seen here in a much younger photograph of me
when I had these good buns
AND NUMBER THREE
goddamn
I have hired Sonic the Hedgehog
to be my personal advisor and as he always says
gotta go fast.
''GOTTA GO FAST INTO THE HEARTS OF AMERICANS!''
gotta go fast into the hearts of Americans
[applause]
uuuummm alright so proof of concept does anyone wanna
syndicate this to TV I had a horse whip this whole time and didn't use that as a
prop god damn it whats my second prompt ''alright this is your movie pitch''
good!
''your big break into Hollywood with your life story''
this is my movie pitch to kickstarter specifically
hi! Welcome to Kickstarter! Now you're probably
wondering who's this guy and why is he talking to me well I'm here to ask you
to help me fund my movie with your money what's the movie about you might ask
well it's about me and my story specifically this part of my story when
I got stuck in a jar it was horrible very very scary
but don't worry I did get out
how did I do it you ask well
this fucking thing
hello all members of the board thank you for joining me here today I am Tom
you've all invested a considerable amount of money in my company already my
company of course uhhm
Star Faced Shits
now I know you've all invested a lot in Star Faced Shits
and our extensive line of
windows 95
windows 95 video guides
starring Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston
times have changed people have moved on no one wants Windows 95 video guides
starring Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston they need something new that's
why I'm here to ask you to help me fund my next business endeavor as we move
Star Faced Little (?) Shits on to a thriving enterprise dealing in
cat costumes
now cat costumes can come in many different shapes and sizes this one's a
hot dog but believe you me they can also be
sad Ian Beals
and that really shitty art I made when I was 11 years old
in Microsoft PowerPoint please give me your money because if you don't I will
be forced into a different line of work
fish
hi guys TomSka travels here and I'm back with a really exciting video because I'm
gonna tell you the story of how I met the love of my life
Michael from Vsauce when I went on holiday so the journey starts with me
deciding what country I wanted to go on holiday to and I realized I want to go
to a country famous for
happehy dohgs
because you know me guys I love some
happy dogs so I hopped on my preferred mode of transport
bread
of course bread
itself doesn't get you very far that's why you put the butter on it
for extra lubrication so I hopped on my buttered bread and before I knew it
uhh
and before I knew it
god damn it what the fu-
I had arrived in the country of homer-chu
not to be confused with Bartasaur
but I was pretty bummed out to realize
that the airline had lost
MY SNEK my snek was gone
slipped through my fingers as seen here that little bastard
but don't worry
I replaced him pretty quickly
how many pictures of just- people kissing things have you got
I don't know what I expected making a growler account
thats a gaayyy bear joke get it
me and mr. bear had a lot of good times together I remember
the night we spend the whole time watching the Japanese version of Beauty
and the Beast it's fucked but you know what else is fucked
that giraffes can't die poor things residents of homer-chu though they're
everywhere but it was while i was at the zoomatorim that I met Michael and you know what i said
what the fuck is that
that's right the love of my life had
hatched right before me it was too beautiful to pass up so I took that baby
and I married it
hello child that I am reading a bedtime
story to through the power of PowerPoint presentation today we will be reading
your favorite book this of course being the cover
angery berd
this is the story of angery berd let's open page one shall we
angery berd had just bought their own beard of bees and they were thinking to
themselves man I'm gonna be the belle of the bee beard ball so off they went to
the beard bee ball and that's when horsey boy showed up
now horsey boy was always trying to steal angery berd's thunder
God I fucking hate horsey boy
so angery berd went up to horsey boy and said do you like Jesus
and horsey boy said you better not me quoting that goddamn Catholic Mario
again angery berd you piece of shit
strong words
but then you'll never guess who burst in
a herd of cows and they were like horsey boy we're tired of
you looking like a slightly skinnier version of us but not tasting nearly as
good so he said fuck I mean what do I look like some kind of egg baby
you bunch of moist pooches this all made angery berd very angry so he said why
can't you just be more like Steve Harrington in the hit Netflix show
Stranger Things even though season 2 was pretty underwhelming
the cows didn't like that not one bit
so they said shoe (shoo) angery berd just do it now horsey boy hadn't said or done
anything in ages and that's when he whipped out this photo and said is this
how lesbian sex works I don't know the cows naturally all being women said shut
the fuck up horsey boy and then they all went home to
shibeland
its wonderful this time of year
hey guys IhateAnitasarkeesian666
here and I'm back with another hot video today we're gonna be talking about the
new sjw rage specifically this shit when will those Lib tarts learn
you just can't splice up genetics God made things one way and that way was
this Joseph Stalin now you might be thinking 'but wasnt he some Marxist?' no
he was cool and also my dad not like my mom though that bitch
was your typical fat sjw woman
look at her bet she's triggered
ihateyoumom
God that bitch ruined every Christmas
one year I wanted an Xbox you know what she got me
wheredoigofromhere
a camera that whenever I would take a dick pic would only take the photo of my face instead
what a b i t c h
anyway back to those lib tards you won't believe what they've gotten up to
not content with genetics splicing they've also been up to this shit
god I bet he identifies as sour cream of chive that's not a gender
everyone knows there's only two genders
this one
and the one I identify with... this one
I'm scared to turn around
you fucking know it
god god damn it's hot in here why do I
wear a leather jacket all the time anyway let's take some fan comments
here's one you submitted God look at this sjw
heh i-
fuck it i hate this so much i cant
masculinity is a prison
hi I'm Tom this is my dating video I'm on this website because of people who
all share one interest in common now of course being latex animal masks
just thinking about them sure gets me going so let's get the important stuff
out out of the way first my name is Tom I'm 27 and and I have a job
this is it
I'm an alligator chauffeur
I Drive them to and from wherever they need to go business is slow I'll admit
there's only one alligator in London but he goes he goes to all our places you'd
be surprised just last week I took him here it was the best game of basketball I've ever seen
how- how she moves whoo
I have a pretty good relationship with my mum
here she is
[Eddie pissing himself laughing]
''Which one is it?''
I'll let you decide which one she is
there she is
sorry this is the only photo I have of her
not so much with my dad though
ever since the incident
anyway
so what I'm looking for in a girl is is a nice a nice big
is that a cake?
''I d o n t k n o w''
bust
[Eddie pissing himself laughing again]
[applause]
fuck it
hello students and welcome to memes 101 in this class I'm going to be teaching
you how to make good memes now first of all you need an image like this one
right here what you can see here is
TWO CHINESE PEOPLE
I THINK I'VE CROSSED A LINE
I DON'T THINK I'M COMING BACK FROM THIS
ALRIGHT NEXT OOONE
hello my name is arty
and this is my art allow me to explain my pieces to you plebeian first we have
this now I call this piece ''the cat is out of the bag'' because as you can see
the wood represents the cat the walls are a bag
it's pretty highbrow I know
''the cat and the bag are incidental''
please ignore everything in the middle of the
picture though that is not supposed to be-
next we have THIS
I call it the Centhorse half horse other half also horse original art do not steal next we move
on to the piece I am the most proud of
sorry ignore that one that's that's for my
personal use this is the piece I'm most proud of
I call it craptain Algeria the best superhero in the world I wanted to
immortalize him in my art and here he is the use of white space is to represent
the rising tide of liberalism which he is not into at all now finally since
you've all come- i'm really just turning into Jonty
now finally since you've all come
here I'll show you what I'm currently working on it's not finished so don't
judge me yet but here it is
I call it somebody get that bitch
its a masterpiece
hello class and welcome to sex education
I am your teacher before I remind you of my name let me
show you what I was named after that's right I am mrs. Hoppsie foot now as your
sex ed teacher I'm going to teach you about how the babies first of all you
need to take this your bean filled clock and you need to
protect it so what you have to do is put your bean filled clock inside
goddamnit
cocky horse oh sorry I've gotten the wrong way around I meant to say you need
to put your cocky horse into the bean filled clock sex education is so wild
now once you've got your cocky horse you can
you can bust out that good lingerie this line is called kinky dong
once you've got your kinky dong on you can bring in your partner
pissy Jeff
watch out for those flames they'll get you pregnant now what you've got is your
cocky horse your kinky dong and pissy Jeff and it's ready to get get going
in the act that we call moist pigeon
''ITS MISSING A BEAK''
I have a question from the back there
''Where's it's beak?''
well if you were paying attention you would know
that his beak has been placed into his beanie clock and is safe a very
necessary process of moist pidgeoning is getting the suck you better suck all
the juice out of the pouch
any questions
ah alright so that was the presentation
game I think we can all agree that my improv skills need some work or as my
year 9 drama teacher called me a disgrace to the odds now that actually
did happen he really did call me that right before banning me from taking
drama so clearly I clearly made an impression but hope you enjoy whatever
the fuck that was if you're funnier than me please feel free to try your own hand
at the presentation game and and send it to me if you have any other ideas for
stupid games I can play leave them in the comments
I'll pretend that I'll read them but I can't read
oooooooooooh goodness
oh my god
Elliot I trusted you
TomSka out