AS WE GO TO OUR NEXT GAME, THE BIBLE RULES!
YOU KNOW, I THINK THE BEST PART OF NETFLIX IS PROBABLY SCROLLING
MINDLESSLY THROUGH HYPNOTIC MENUS FOR AT LEAST 40 MINUTES
BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY PICK ANYTHING TO WATCH.
AND MAYBE YOU DON'T EVEN WATCH ANYTHING.
LIKE, YOUR MOVIE-WATCHING FOR THE NIGHT WAS JUST (BLEEP)ING
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, AND THEN YOU'RE LIKE, "WELL, NOW I'M
TIRED.
I TOOK AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY THROUGH LOOKING AT-AT BOX ART."
UH, BUT THIS DIGITAL ODYSSEY THROUGH DIRECT-TO-DVD JASON
STATHAM MOVIES AND CONSPIRACY DOCUMENTARIES CAN SOMETIMES MESS
WITH YOUR HEAD.
FOR INSTANCE, I RAN ACROSS THIS HISTORY CHANNEL SERIES CALLED
THE BIBLE RULES, WHICH MY BRAIN AUTOMATICALLY CHANGED TO THE
BIBLE RULES!
SO, COMEDIANS...
THIS EDGY, BRO-IER-THAN-THOU VERSION COULD BE THE MAKEOVER
THAT DUSTY OLD TOME NEEDS.
WHAT ARE SOME PASSAGES WE MIGHT SEE IN THIS MORE EXTREME GOSPEL?
LET'S PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK AND BEGIN.
(BELL DINGS) YES, PAUL.
>> THOU SHALL NOT SEND DICK PICS UNLESS I'M TOTALLY SURE SHE'S
INTO ME.
>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.
(BELL DINGS) ROB HUEBEL.
>> FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE US THAT STANK WEED,
BRO.
JOHN 4:20.
>> HARDWICK: POINTS.
(BELL DINGS) UH, YES, AUBREY.
>> UH, THOU SHALT BACK DAT ASS UP, GIRL.
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.
(BELL DINGS) YES, AUBREY.
>> UH, THOU SHALT NOT GIVE A (BLEEP)...
>> HARDWICK: POINTS
(BELL DINGS) UH, ROB.
>> THOU SHALT NOT HAVE ANY OTHER GODS BUT NICKELBACK, BRO!
>> HARDWICK: POINTS.
(BELL DINGS) AUBREY.
>> UM, THY SHALL KEEP HOLY THY SHARK WEEK.
>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.
THAT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD ONE.
THAT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD ONE.
(BELL DINGS) PAUL.
>> THOU SHALL NOT TALK ABOUT GAME OF THRONES IF THOU HAVE
READ THE BOOK AND ME THOU HAVE ONLY WATCHED THINE TV SHOW.
>> HARDWICK: OH, THAT WAS WELL DONE-- POINTS.
(BELL DINGS) ROB.
>> THOU SHALT LOVE THOSE TIG OL' BITTIES, RIGHT, BRO?
>> HARDWICK: RIGHT.
POINTS.