We're at the Fèlsina Winery in Chianti,
and this is Chiara.
Yes, correct.
This is my friend, Jordan. Mm-hmm.
Welcome.
And for many years, he has talked about
one of his favorite wines, which comes from this vineyard.
And so now I've brought you here.
This is a magic moment for you,
so maybe a thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
(audience laughing)
What a dick.
(audience laughing)
The first thing that-
Well no, I always think the way...
(glass scratching table)
So and our expert can..
What was that?
Hold it, hold it.
Don't hold it, that's annoying.
(glass scratching table)
That's annoying. Lift it.
It's not annoying me.
Does it smell good or not?
(glass scratching table)
Excuse me.
(chuckles) I will cut your goddamn hand off
if you do that again (audience laughing)
That is annoying. Stop it.
First test is the color.
The color.
So you can see the color.
You wanna be able to see your finger through it.
[Chiara] Yes. Yes.
Jordan, hold yours up
and see if you can see my finger through your wine.
Can you see it?
(audience laughing)
You can see that. Okay?
It's important.
It is important.
This is another another Sangiovese.
(speaking Italian)
(glass scratching table)
Can you do me a favor?
Stop dragging it across the stone.
It really does bother me.
I just wanna explain something to you.
And I've told you like eight times.
Right, I understand.
This is fantastic.
See, you drank the whole thing.
You were supposed to spill some of it out.
Why?
Well, you see, if you become intoxicated,
you won't be able to adequately drink this wine.
(audience laughing)
And so you just drank mine.
He's drinking your wine!
Yeah.
Watch this, it's a magic trick I learned
in alcoholism school.
(audience laughing)
Voila.
What would you eat with this wine?
Cinghiale, cinghiale is a very good-
What's that?
Cinghiale is a wild boar-
Oh, a wild boar.
It is one of the primary meats of Tuscany.
Exactly.
The meat is often greasy,
and it coats your tongue.
Drinking this after cleans your tongue.
It's your favorite wine.
Mm-hmm.
And it does seem to pair well with bore.
(audience laughing)
So and then you smell it.
And you immediately have these notes of fruit,
cherry and black fruit.
I don't concentrate on the fruit.
I concentrate on the earth,
and I smell a forest.
(audience laughing)
I mean, I feel like I'm lost in the woods right now.
Yeah, it's damp like when you're walking in the woods
and maybe it rains.
Wet soil. (audience laughing)
It's damp.
Wet soil?
Well, not even the soil, but like
if there's like moss on a branch
and you step on it.
Can I say something?
Can I say-
Under the forest.
(laughing)
You're not even drunk yet, idiot.
What are you talking, you're an idiot!
(audience laughing)
Good one, good one, Jordan.
You think if you stand and you twirl your glass
without putting it on the table
you're supposed to get (laughs)
You're a fool.
Is it Chiara?
Right.
You're a fool!
We've had nothing to drink yet!
We've had nothing to drink and we're behaving this way.
(glass scratching table)
(audience laughing)
Okay, I want your help.
Please stop that. Please stop it.
Yes.
I will smash your face to powder.
Yes, yes.
The truffle dogs will come in
and they will feast on your powdered puss.
Of all the wine tastings you've done,
is this the stupidest one?
Not stupid, but different.
Very different.
Better.
She didn't say better.
I said better.
I know, you've said a lot of stuff.
You're lost in the woods.
You're roamin' around with a moss stick up your ass.
We don't know what your problem is.
[Chiara] And some aged wine.
(wine swishing)
I have not had mine...
Oh see, now that's a,
that is just a fantastic wine.
If I was one of these three wines,
I would be the Fontalloro
because I am subtle, you know?
So you have to look deep.
Yeah.
You know?
You are a right up front in your face initially,
and then that's it.
And then there's no more,
so you get it all at once.
You know what? We finally agree.
You are like the Fontalloro
in that I would like to push you into a barrel
and seal it and then wait 20 years,
open it up and enjoy what's left of you.
Cin cin! Salute!
Salute.
Now you see,
you should never hold a wine glass like that.
That's a (speaks Italian)
That is inelegant.
You're getting your disgusting, greasy fingerprints
on this beautiful glass.
I don't wanna see your disgusting,
greasy fingerprints when I look at that glass.
There's no job waiting for you in the United States.
(audience laughs)
If I were you, I'd become a hobo
and wander Tuscany.
You just called me stupid and greasy.
And a friend doesn't do that to another friend.
I said your fingerprints are stupid.
I hate you.
I hate your face.
(audience laughing)
This is good.
This the way to do it? Right here?
(glass scratching table)
(audience laughing)