- [Dan] So let's talk about the mindset for a second.
The four common mental referral barriers.
See if any one of those resonates with you.
If it does, I want you to write that down.
Just what resonates with you.
It's like, "Yeah, I have that one."
Or, "Shit, I have all four, shit." Okay
Without question, the main reason most entrepreneurs
do not ask for referrals is what?
- [Crowd] Fear.
- Fear. It's fear.
Number one is fear.
You haven't provided enough value yet.
Fear you haven't provided enough value yet.
So, maybe there are clients that you've done business with
for some time now, maybe six months,
maybe a year, maybe just closed a deal.
"Wow, let me wait, maybe a year later."
"Once we've established a relationship a little bit more,
"then maybe I can ask for referrals.
"I don't want to sound like I'm pushing them.
"I don't want to come across too desperate", right?
So, fear, you haven't provided enough value yet.
So my question is, when the hell is it a good time?
Is it a month?
Is it a day?
Is it six months?
Interesting thing is, it isn't like a referral bible saying,
"You can not ask for referrals within 30 days
"after the transaction is done."
(crowd laughing)
It doesn't exist.
(dramatic music)
- [Narrator] The King of High-Ticket Sales,
World's Highest-Paid Consultant,
Media Celebrity,
Multi-Millionaire Entrepreneur,
Acclaimed TEDx Speaker,
International Best-Selling Author,
Dan Lok.
- [Dan] Okay, so fear.
You haven't provided enough value yet.
Number two, fear you will hurt the relationship.
Fear the "Hey, we've got a good thing going on.
"I like my client, my client likes me.
"I deliver good value, but if I ask,
"then I come across a bit too salesy.
"I don't want to ruin the relationship."
This number two usually happens for ladies.
For ladies.
Fear you will hurt the relationship.
"I don't want to impose on them.
"I don't want to make them feel like they're obligated
or anything like that."
So fear you will hurt the relationship.
So, because of that, then we don't ask.
So, number three,
fear you will look unprofessional or needy.
"If I'm so successful and I'm doing so well,
"I don't need to ask for referrals.
"I don't want to ask anybody.
"They should just send me some referrals.
"They should know.
"They should be able to read my mind,
"and know that I need some clients to pay the bills,
"without me asking."
It's like in a relationship, man and woman, right?
You have the wife say, "You should have,
"buy me flowers."
Well, if you wanted to buy flowers, as a man,
then tell me you want flowers.
"If you love me, I shouldn't have to tell you
"that I want you to buy flowers."
What the fuck?
What?
No, no, no
"Okay, if you love me, I shouldn't have to tell you
"that I want you to buy flowers for me."
But if you tell me you want flowers
I will buy flowers for you.
That doesn't work.
That does not count, because then if I have to tell you
you have to buy me flowers,
then you go buy flowers,
that doesn't mean you love me.
You show me you love me, you have to read my mind,
knowing that I want flowers,
without me asking you to buy me flowers,
and you buy some flowers for me.
Then that works.
In business it's the same.
You want your clients to kind of read your mind.
"Okay, my cash flow has been tight.
"I want to expand my business.
"Send me some referrals.
"But I don't want to have to ask you for referrals,
"You just have to send me some referrals.
"You gotta read my mind."
Do you see how silly that is?
Makes no sense.
Fear number four
Fear of not knowing how to get out of conversation.
This one is pretty common.
You stop asking for the referral,
you feel a little bit awkward,
and "now, what do I do?"
Or, what if they say no?
"No, I don't know anybody."
How many have heard of that one,
"I don't know anybody"?
Or here's another one,
"I don't know of anybody yet,
"but if I think of somebody, I'll call you".
Like the hell they would.
Yeah, like, "I'll call you if I think of anybody",
which is a very polite way of saying no.
Does not work.
And then we answer, "Yeah, that's very nice of you.
"Thank you."
Fear of not knowing how to get out of conversation.
Those four.
So, let me give you two minutes.
How long?
- [Crowd] Two minutes
Discuss among the table those four
and which one is a biggie for you.
"You know, that's the one that is holding me back."
Two minutes. Go.
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