[Music]
so thank you so much for joining us here
today and for accepting our invitation I
understand it was a very tough decision
to make
yes there was some controversy before I
came to your fine school I came to this
wonderful place Oxford as I think you
call it
I received a lovely invitation to come
here to these hallowed halls and speak
to all of you and I agreed and said I'm
coming then about two days later I got
the following email and I hope it's okay
to share it with you right now is that
okay may I share an email with you wow
you're a fun crowd it's from another
college a college known as Cambridge
this is the email that went right to my
people two days after I accepted your
kind invitation
I'm also aware that conan's currently
scheduled to visit Oxford for a similar
event it would be incredible if we can
also feature in Conan's busy calendar
the Cambridge Union is older than the
Oxford Union
by eight years we are of the opinion
that students here at Cambridge are this
is all worth forward a more engaged
attentive and more prone to asking
insightful questions as compared to
their Oxford peers and would love the
chance to prove this I just watched it I
just want you to know I got that email
and I just immediately thought who
writes crap like this
[Applause]
I'm going tomorrow that was so rude of
them I thought you were very nice to
invite me and you invited me first
that's you know that's just I mean that
I mean I didn't say that just because
I'm here and I want to suck up to you
people well we never say that people
were trying to get from Cambridge that
were a better crowd that's because
you're secure you know
you guys know you're the best you have
to tell anybody you're the best
[Applause]
there's something sexually war and it's
secure about those cambridge people they
frightened me and i will not go there
unless I'm paid I don't know why I'm
shouting I have a microphone but there's
something about this hall in this
institution that makes Dean want to say
I demand freedom and freedom we shall
have it
[Applause]
you can literally say anything in here
and it sounds more majestic than it
really is
I think Starbucks burns their coffee and
I saying it this isn't going to be a
real conversation I'm going to act like
a jackass the entire time
and there's nothing you can do about it
I think Cambridge made the right choice
I'm sorry I'll behave I promise so on
your podcast you talk wow what an energy
drop
no it's not your fault used you went
right into conversational tone I had
just said we were going to free all of
the peoples of the world and get rid of
Starbucks coffee then we went into the
podcast there's no there's no easy ramp
from one to the other but let's get into
it the podcast you talk a lot about the
journey of becoming a professional
comedian yeah when was it that you
realized that that was what you wanted
to do well when I was a man when I was a
kid I loved making I come from a big
Irish Catholic family six kids
I believe there's others out there
you'd meet a new one occasionally in the
bathroom but and I was packed in the
middle and I used to make my brothers
and sisters laugh and then I made other
kids at school laugh but I never thought
it was a profession I grew up in
Brookline Massachusetts right outside
Boston
don't pretend and and I thought you
can't be in show business
I didn't know anybody in show business
my father is a brilliant man he's a
microbiologist infectious disease
scientist and my mother is a brilliant
woman and was a lawyer for a big law
firm and I just thought my job was to
buckle down and be serious so I was
always fighting this nature and thinking
you can't do that for a living you have
to be serious so I worked hard and I'm
again I just thought comedy was
something you did for your friends and
then my life changed when I went to what
we consider an old University Harvard
it's so hilarious that we are so proud
of the fact that Harvard's like 1638 and
then you come here and it's they have
McDonald's that are that old
and now I live in Los Angeles where
sometimes people will come to and look
at your house you know they'll come and
fit because something's wrong with the
basement and they'll say they're here to
fix it and oh my oh man you got one of
these old houses went ahead they built
this during Obama's first term huh
so I've had to I went to Harvard and I
had worked really hard and I was a
serious student and the second I got
there a friend of mine said I'm off to
the Lampoon and I said what's that like
an idiot and he said it's the college
humor magazine and I said well I'll tag
along and I got addicted I slept there I
lived there I became my life running the
place I mean it was very evocative of
this place it was this it's this old
Hall it's got these old traditions many
famous writers and cartoonists have come
there now of course a lot of the TV
shows you you watch or have seen have
been written or produced by Lampoon
people it's really a wonderful amazing
place and I'm not saying this because of
your connection there but it really did
feel like my Hogwarts experience when I
went there it was it was they I I worked
very hard I got accepted I was 18 years
old and I just said whatever this is I'm
throwing in my lot with these people and
that would have been 1981 when I was
accepted and since that day I've been
thinking and breathing comedy pretty
much 24/7 since then and that changed my
life when I graduated college in 85 I
thought how do I keep doing this I need
to keep doing this even if I don't make
money doing this I have to do this and
fortunately it turns out it does pay and
I worked on Senate live I worked on a
few shows when I worked on Senate live
and then I worked on The Simpsons and
and then I got my own show and now I'm
here so it is it feels miraculous to me
I'm very people overuse the word
grateful in my biz
they say I'm really grateful when deep
down inside they're total and
they're not grateful but but I really am
I do i do feel
I'm a really good guy and that's
something good guys say but no I it's
been just a really great journey and my
favorite thing is connecting so I don't
care how I do it but not that long ago
someone came to me and said you should
do a podcast and I said why would I do a
podcast when I have a TV show that's
been on forever and it's on YouTube and
they said I think you might like it and
I really thought it was a stupid idea
and I started doing it and I can't tell
you I can go anywhere in the world and
people listened to the podcast very
differently than they watch a show they
get to know you and you can I've had so
many friends of mine who I called up and
asked they're very unselfconscious Lisa
Kudrow when I asked her do you undo the
podcast she said no hair no makeup I'll
be there in ten minutes
they they really do love the fact that
they don't have to pretend to be someone
else and then you can have this
incredibly powerful conversation with
them and you can get to things that you
could never do in television I have to
make a you'd have had to take two
commercial breaks by now if this was on
television seriously you know for
horrible products and but here you don't
it's it in this podcast format you can
attain this kind of connection you can't
attain any other way
so I absolutely love it and I love the
friends I mean in this short time the
couple of days that I've been here in
London and then here I've had so many
people come up to me people that have no
idea I'm coming here say oh I love the
podcast the podcast is meaningful to me
and so that's that's lovely
and you've been on air for decades what
what do you do to keep the show fun for
you it's fun for me yeah we fire people
you should see the look on their faces
these are people with children they have
mortgages
and I'm like Caligula at this point I'm
like you know I'm firing you and hiring
my horse you know and so that's fun I
would say one of the challenges with
anything is and everybody has this issue
I don't care who you are if you're
whatever your field is you've got to
keep it fresh for yourself for me I
think I've been fortunate that I've been
forced to reinvent it many times the
initial show was one show that then
gradually morphed into a slicker more
polished show it started in 93 I think
it got a little more polished around
2001 2002 and then it morphed into the
Tonight Show and I went out for that but
that all blew up because I got into a
big argument with my network and I ended
up forced to read aside who I was and it
was this it was a huge story in America
and I had to figure out okay Who am I
now and start again on a different
network and that has gone through about
two revolutions so and now we've changed
the format again to half-hour because an
hour long I started looking at my
hour-long show and looking at how its
represented on YouTube which is how most
people see it and should see it and I
said these two don't relate to each
other so I changed my show to look more
like it would on YouTube we do still
half an hour and I talked to one person
as opposed to a show that is comedy
first guest that you want to see second
guess you don't care about third guest
you don't care about and I hate to say
that to the second and third guest of
the world but right I decided I'm too
long in the tooth I've been doing it too
long I don't want to say it was great
talking to you
now we're gonna stick around for that
guy who's 19 and he just got on a show
where he plays a brooding teenager he's
never had a life experience
his big disappointment in life is they
didn't have the Porsche in the color
gray he wanted and I'm supposed to
pretend to care about him so I couldn't
do that anymore so we we just shoved it
down to a half hour and then I talked to
one person
here's Will Ferrell I have a great time
talking to him we do much more than half
an hour for the studio audience and we
put all of it on YouTube because there's
no time restraint there and then we cut
it down to half an hour for Turner and
Warner Brothers so to me that feels like
how shows that's how shows should be
made now I'm not saying my other my
compatriots are in the dark ages but
well do the math you know I'm saying no
one drinks here I don't get it but
anyway you also talked a lot about
wanting your comedy to be evergreens
that someone can watch it 20 years from
now yeah my favorite comedy is right now
in the states as I'm sure you're all
aware it's people are very angry and so
I almost feel like comedy has gone in
two completely directions it's you know
there are people that have been it's all
about I mean all about politics the
entire show is politics and so when you
see the roundup for what they talked
about it's blank took down Donald Trump
today someone so roasted you know this
person the administration it's all that
and some of it's very clever and very
good but it's all that and then there's
another kind of comedy which is
completely escapist let's play games
let's have fun and then I feel like I
just found my own thing that I like
which is really silly comedy that I've
been doing since 1993 where I'm doing
the show and maybe someone interrupts me
and it's an old coal miner in the
audience and then we have an adventure
together and it doesn't make any sense
it's not linked to anything we use
puppets
I love puppets i love any stuffed animal
that's objecting to something that i've
done i love it comedy that just makes me
laugh and is silly and then i think one
of the things that's nice is i have
people your age coming up to me now and
they're saying oh i just saw that thing
last night where you've you know you
were god only knows you you got on a
bicycle and you you drove up a caramel
mountain and you visited god and it was
so silly and stupid and it meant nothing
but i really liked it and i'll think
wait a minute we made that in 1994 or
1995 we had a very popular character on
the show for a couple of years called
the masturbating bear and it was a bear
in a diaper that just masturbated on cue
i'm sorry i'm sorry but those are the
things you talk about when you invite me
and you want to talk economics we'll do
that next time but this is what you get
but it was just the silliness of it and
the craziness of it that i love so much
and so we're still finding people that
come back and see those old sketches and
and really like them and I like them
because you don't have to know it's not
comedy that goes bad
24 hours after you make it because the
outrage over that decision to cut that
item in the budget doesn't make sense 24
hours after you've said it but a bear
masturbating he's always good comedy
so like you said you don't react to
political and current affairs as much as
other well we do we do if we have a good
silly fun idea but I try not to live off
of it exclusively you know I try to so
everyone has their own way of doing
these things there's not a right way
there's not a wrong way there's just the
most important thing I say to people who
are interested in doing what I do for a
living is do the stuff that you are
passionate about and I've always been
passionate about silliness and the stuff
that influenced me I was very influenced
by English comedy growing up I loved
Monty Python I loved Blackadder I loved
the young ones I would watch all these
shows and then you know I I saw the the
British office came out and I just loved
that those are still funny now it's
they're talking about universal themes
you know and and to me that's the kind
of comedy that I love it's it's
completely silly and it's dealing with
human situations rather than here's what
happened in the news today which I
admire I think it's really great I just
don't think that's my skill set and
something else that you always come back
to is that really successful people are
often a lot more insecure about their
work than we would expect them to be
yeah how does that work for you well I'm
not but
last I suppose no I you know it's it's
actually a it's really important to me
if you leave with no other little if you
leave with nothing else today or tonight
leave with this we have a very we have a
culture that's constantly looking at our
phones at people that we think are so
incredibly happy and have everything and
I will tell you for a fact the disparity
the difference between what they're
projecting and how they are is
monumental a lot of the time it's not
that these people are all miserable but
I do think we're this Instagram age in
this age of projecting wealth and fame
and what's the what's the this
incredible fun that you can have there's
a lot of people out there that strive
because they're insecure they try harder
because they're running from something
or they're very unhappy it's not the
only reason they're successful but it's
a mixed bag and when you get successful
there's some unpleasant stuff that comes
with it and there's dealing with envy
and there's dealing with schadenfreude
and there's dealing with other people's
expectations that you're always going to
be that person and I wouldn't trade my
life for anything in anyone else's in
the world I'm very happy but I do think
I've seen so many people in my
profession American performers actors
comedians who I wouldn't want to be in a
million years they just they're unhappy
people and there's a lot of unhappy
people just as there are everywhere and
I think we get this we get this bad read
we just we're only seeing this very
flattened out image of them laughing and
driving a sports car and we think if I
had that all my problems would be solved
and I remember thinking that you know
when I was first starting out in the
business if I had what these people had
then I would have no problems and that's
why I really do try to tell people that
you've got to enjoy what you do you have
to enjoy it
there's
so many people so many people they want
to be famous for fames sake and fame is
nothing I mean it is just a clear broth
it doesn't doesn't add much flavor
doesn't it doesn't have any nutritional
value and you know I can go with this
broth analogy forever if you put meat in
it for a long time that meat will soften
[Music]
famous high in salt and I you know I I
just I just I just encourage people to
look twice at that and say I do what I
do because I really do enjoy it I really
do like making this kind of stuff and I
felt like I had some facility for it but
I never enjoyed the brief periods of
time that that someone on the paparazzi
has wanted to take a picture of me it
just felt creepy it felt and and and
they eventually realized I'm the most
boring person in the world and that
their pictures of Conan O'Brien goes and
buys 2% milk again wearing sensible
outfit with dad bod was like not selling
you know I had a funny experience here a
couple of years ago I was in London and
a friend I didn't know this place but a
friend said to me join me for dinner and
I said ok and he said I'm at the Chilton
firehouse I didn't know what that was
but I guess it's this place where a lot
of stars go what's that you don't go
there all the time
well ok clearly I've just made a fool of
myself in front of everyone but there
was this place and let in this
restaurant with the paparazzi would hang
out in front we have them in LA and you
go there if you want your picture taken
I didn't know that so I just go in and
then I eat my dinner and I come out and
it's all these people from all these UK
paparazzi with the giant you know and
they walk out and I think one guy sort
of knew me and took a picture so they
all started taking pictures and there
was like 40 people just firing away
photos and so I did this you know
and then I started to walk away and they
all put their cameras down to the one
who said hey who the are you I said
it was this is true I said I'm a male
model from Germany
but I love that they took a picture of
me didn't know who I was and they were
yelling at me essentially because I
wasn't famous enough you know was just
such a weird dynamic I had rui had
wasted their time so on another note
falling on from that there was no
transition there at all
we're gonna head --it that for you to
well put something else in there you
know maybe some rock music or something
ACDC no I do not seek out criticism my
work no you know that's one of the
things that we surprised me cuz I've had
guests come on the show very famous
people and they've confided in me oh I'm
you know after my last appearance people
said this about me or said that I
actually had a guest come on my show and
in the commercial break say to me last
time I was on people were saying this
was a man people were saying that I had
had terrible plastic surgery and it
really hurt my feelings and I haven't
had plastic surgery why would they write
that what this is the commercial break
and I said to this person why are you
reading that why would anybody anyone
can write anything why would you read
that and there is something in this new
world that you're all dealing with I'm
quite comfortable not knowing what
people say about me I just
people have said some and my deal that I
made with myself is I don't want to read
the bad stuff and so I won't read the
good stuff and I'm told there's been
some really nice things written in some
really nice publications and I just say
that's nice to hear and people give me
this sort of gist of what it is but I
don't want to read it because if I read
that then I feel I have to go looking
for well I hate him you know his hair's
looks like a ridiculous pastry you know
my father wrote that I don't want to you
know and I that's one of the questions
that I have is when people start looking
for it is in my nature I will find the
unsmiling face in the crowd and wonder
what was his problem why wasn't he
having a good time and that is classic
all comedians do that but as you get
older you learn that that just that way
lies madness not no good will come of
that none so I'm not I know what it is I
do I have really good friends and my
friends tell me that wasn't great or
that was funny that wasn't so funny I
would have changed that I mean I I write
a tweet and I say what do you think and
I have interns in the office saying nope
bad and I I listen to them I listen to
other people and sometimes I get into
arguments with people I think really
because I think that's a good idea but I
try not to have an ego about it and so
people usually let me know when I've
missed the mark I'll know so I don't
need a random person you know who's or a
troll to tell me that I suck because
deep down I know that
that's not funny you should feel sad now
you mentioned taking on board the advice
of your interns and part of what makes
your show Stan that is your relationship
with your staff and how that's woven
into seven years yes was that a
conscious production choice or was it
something that happened just you know
there's an old the most famous he was
completely unknown in the UK but the
most famous talk-show host of all time
in America was this guy named Johnny
Carson who I grew up watching he's
brilliantly funny and he was and
everybody watched him I mean the entire
country watched Johnny Carson and what
he said once is he was on the air for 30
years and no one had ever done that no
one ever been on the air for 30 years
and he said once you'll use it you'll
end up using everything you have meaning
if you've got any kind of skill or any
kind of ability or anything up your
sleeve you will end up using it and I
found that to be true you end up using
whatever is available to you when you
have to do so much TV so much someone
there's so much product you end up
trying anything and you know where it's
like we're living in a we're working in
a bakery and we have to be open 24/7
you'll end up trying stuff like I'll
just throw a carrot in there and see
what else out you know broth if you will
and you end up trying things and that's
what we ended up doing and our staff is
there and my my assistant is this
personality and we were doing tons of
hours of comedy without even realizing
it we have these long insane
conversations with each other and then
we realized wait a minute what if we put
a camera on this and the interesting
thing about so now my assistant if
you've seen any of this stuff on YouTube
she doesn't change
she's always this she is the same person
you can put a camera on her you could
put her in Wembley Stadium and have
75,000 people stare at her she'll still
act like Sona and then want to go get a
grilled cheese sandwich afterwards you
know and go home to her husband she's
just that person so we started using
those people and it's added a whole
other layer you know
we ended up realizing we have this great
resource so we might as well use it and
we don't want to overdo it but some of
these people I have a guy that works for
named Jordan shlonsky who yeah the idea
that in this great historic Hall that is
seen like Churchill and Einstein and
Malcolm X the idea that the name jordan
shlonsky would be mentioned and get a
round of applause is such a cosmic joke
to me it's such a such proof that
there's ultimately it's a silly world we
live in
he is that guy he is that person he's
this weird strange guy I honestly don't
know what he does on the show every
every time I ask him he says I have
various tasks and duties
I'm like what does that mean well I
attend to various he keeps saying
various and then throwing other words in
there and I honestly don't know what he
does so we're very excited because you
guys know the property brothers those
guys is that is that big over here I
don't know if you guys know them but his
office is a mess and we brought these
two huge youtube stars in and surprised
him
with the property brothers and they're
these big stars and we walk in and I go
Jordan look who's here to clean up your
office it doesn't even get up looks at
them and I went Jordan when people let's
walk into the room especially famous
people you should probably stand anyone
there fame is of no consequence to me
they can come or they can let you know
just like he doesn't we just surprised
him with cameras he had no idea we were
coming most humans would react a little
bit I see no reason to stand for these
people you know it's fascinating he's a
weird weird man and we're we're maybe I
hope we're advancing the cure for
something by putting him on TV
he also you just mentioned Johnny Carson
yeah what I'm sure you were fond of him
while growing up what was it like to
meet someone like that and realize that
they're a fan of you too well he wasn't
I'm not kidding he didn't really know me
I was brand-new and when I got my start
in America I was a complete unknown I
was a Simpsons writer and they were
looking for this big slot to fill and
today they would have thousands of
qualified candidates because of YouTube
the internet that have they'd have
there's so many people everyone has 75
episode shows on Netflix you know by the
time they're in utero and live from the
womb you know and so the idea that that
they would when if there was a giant
opening for a show if Stephen Colbert
decided he was going to step down they'd
be what million you'd know all the names
of all the people who were probably
going to replace him and I had this very
strange moment in time where it was
pre-internet so after Carson I would say
the biggest host was this guy David
Letterman and he suddenly left and there
was a hole and they said to my boss my
former boss it's aren't alive can you
find somebody to fill it and he went let
me think
and then through a series of just crazy
chances he said you know there's this
writer I know with weird hair and a
weird name who makes the other writers
laugh and they were like well does he do
stand-up no has he done anything not on
camera
you're kidding right no I think he might
be good and so they gave me a tryout and
I did really well with the tryout and
they gave me the show and the entire
United States said what who is this
what's a conan who is this person
seriously and then for the first year i
was on the air
I was never one-tenth as funny as I was
on the audition because it's one thing
to audition for something you don't
think you're gonna get so I walked into
the audition I'm like I'm never getting
this depth up down about it uh and back
then in the early 90s that was funny and
but I you know I just thought oh you
know I'm not getting this and I was so
relaxed that they said this guy's got it
you know put them on and then the next
thing you know I've got this show and I
suddenly I have responsibilities and I
have this irish-catholic sense of I've
got to do a good job and I've got to
make sure that I please everyone which
is the least funny space to come from
what an unfunny approach so my first
year on the air we did a lot of really
inventive fun comedy but I was like yes
yes well we'll return soon but your
graces and we'll see you back here when
we resume the program and I had you know
sweating and I hadn't hit puberty yet
and people were like I hate this woman
and it was very people wrote the
nastiest things I mean I just got
destroyed in the press I mean our your
press can be mean our press was really
mean and man did they let me have it and
I remembered this is a true story I went
and saw I was starting to see a
therapist I was under so much pressure
and feeling like the whole world you
know and so I went in to see the
therapist and I lay down and I said I
think people hate me I think they want
me to go away I think they think that
I'm terrible at what I do and that I'm a
failure and the therapist said listen
these are voices we all have and these
are voices that recur and it comes from
your shame Center and it can happen but
we all have these voices and it's just a
voice it's not real and I said you asked
it's the cover of USA Today
he held up the paper and it said all of
that stuff and he was like well okay
maybe the paper is a dream I'm like no
it's a paper I could shove it in your
mouth right now well who's to say I'm
real you know that'll be a hundred and
eighty five dollars so but then it got
things got better and then the critics
turned around but man that was that was
and now I'm in this unique position
that's crazy
that's another thing to tell you about
which is all these years later I just
was convinced I just said well people
hate us they hate us and we got through
those first couple of years and then and
now I meet these people who inspire me
um you know my one of my favorite
comedians working and he's just lovely
person and brilliant brilliant comic
John Mulaney yeah okay let's not go too
far
all right to the Union in March oh he's
coming in March
well I'm here now the guys good but
looks like a crazy now he deserves that
and he's just so funny and he writes
he's such a brilliant writer and such a
great performer and but recently I got
to be friends with him and he would say
oh yeah I would used to watch you that
first year wasn't it great
and I was like what are you talking
about everyone hated me and he said I
wasn't aware of that me and my friends
just thought it was really weird and
cool and funny and I said why couldn't
you have come and said that to me back
in 1993 and he's like well I was 11 I
think an 11 year old in pajamas coming
to see you would be weird you know but
that's the other thing too is that if I
was just going off of my feeling of how
things were going or the public
perception of how they were going all
the evidence that I had was was awful
all the scientific evidence was not good
ratings bad critics bad you know boy
word on the street you suck go home you
suck just just tough and then all these
years later these people whose comedy I
just love tell me oh we really liked you
in the big you know was really you know
we were watching right away and we liked
it and I I didn't know that but I think
that's something inspirational for
people to know is that again going back
to we live in this culture if you're
constantly checking in to see how you're
doing and how someone else doing
compared to you and you're getting a lot
of inaccurate information about how
you're doing you know how you're doing
as a person as an 18 year old or a 19
year old or a 20 year old or whatever
who's here at Oxford at this moment how
you're doing you just don't know it
really is about how you feel about how
you're doing and and checking in
constantly on social media I think is a
very tricky thing and I'm not some old
guys saying social media is a bad thing
I'm very young
[Music]
no I love social media and I think it is
mostly a force for good I just think
it's like one of those 52:48
propositions where it really is there's
so much there that can be very difficult
and I think there's a lot of pressure on
this generation there's so much pressure
on you that wasn't on my generation we
could be blissfully ignorant about what
someone else had for breakfast you know
how much they love avocado toast and how
many likes that got we didn't know all
that and I think so there's a lot of
pressure that people are dealing with
here that I'm sympathetic to I think
it's time for questions from the
audience now so if you have a question
please raise your hand wait for the
microphone to come to you and please
stand up asking your question
can we start with the hand in the back
very back over there remember with the
Glosser
you're at Oxford you said the guy with
the glasses the learning fellow who
takes things seriously yes yes you stand
hello
bean I've been watching you for many
years
I've been watching you for many years
what's your name Kevin Kevin hello Kevin
how much of the Georgian slansky
character is like made up because I feel
like I told you he is real he's a real
he's a real person and I've had
arguments with him when there's no
cameras around that are hysterical and
I'm thinking why aren't their cameras
rolling right now he is a real person
does he sometimes put maybe an extra 10%
on it yes he does
but don't pour drink my answers
everyone's like I think he's done mad
you are far as I speak
where's my cab to Cambridge I'm going
now
yeah but he's pretty much that guy he
really is he really is okay thank you I
thank you I thank you Kevin Kevin you
get to keep that mic that's yours to
have that's a new thing we're doing here
at the Union once you get the mic don't
give it back all right they're all these
people and then they have to wait for
the mic to get to them this is awkward
he's right there I can hear him
hi oh yes hello how are you hi I'm good
I'm really excited to see you I'm very
excited to see you love your podcast
thank you very much
so especially love sohna so hi to Sona I
know she's not here so yeah you talked
about Jordan and you mentioned sone
already I was wondering if you could
talk a little bit more about your
relationship with Sona it always seems
pretty antagonist ik but also that you
really really love each other right well
that's not what's uh you know it is
funny my wife's here and she can
validate the actors playing my wife is
here
that's my wife lies it right there and
she will tell you that dealing with Sona
on the phone about anything in our it is
that same person she's 100% authentic
it's my assistant I hired her and then
one day I heard this strange language
and I heard her - and it was her talking
to her mom she she had never I'd only
heard her speak fluent Southern
California English and she was having
this heated conversation and I came out
and I said what's going on and she said
I was just having an talk with my mom
and I didn't realize that they're both
speak Armenian and they were both its
speaking fluently and she's very loud
and when they're having a normal
pleasant conversation it sounds intense
and so I came in and I said what sounded
like you were to Dracula's we're having
an argument you know and immediately in
that moment we decided like he's to see
that this person's either offensive or
this is gonna work and it worked
we just because she came right back at
me and you know living off potatoes and
you know and it it just gelled and we're
constantly you know we just did a thing
recently where I got her - it was a real
cameras were rolling we were just
talking and then she started talking
about all the stuff she's stolen from
stores and and she just went and she was
like I took this lipgloss I took that
from this store and she knew it she had
an encyclopedic knowledge of all the
things that she's stolen over the years
so I said we should do a remote where
you and I go back to all those stores
and try and make amends
and it's stuff like she's you know it's
all like dollar ninety-nine lip gloss a
headband from forever21
you know some socks with a tassel on
them from Gap for kids I don't know why
she stole that just weird stuff but you
know it it it just is so silly and it
works that that's what I think one of
the reasons that we keep doing it and we
did have a very nice we I took her to
Armenia it was really fun to go to
Armenia and we didn't know what the end
would be and we had so much fun
adventures in Armenia and I took her
there's women there whose profession is
to find
mind people a husband and you go and we
were looking at all these pictures of
these guys in her little house in
Armenia and so that was a fun remote but
then in the end we ended up going to the
Holocaust Memorial and that was
incredibly powerful and really amazing
and I do love it when a show like Conan
Without Borders which is on Netflix can
encompass really laugh out loud funny
moments and then I'm real moment it
didn't feel exploitative at all it felt
we went there she wanted to go we told
the cameraman you've got to be out of
sight I told all the writers and the
producers you have to go away and we
just had this great moment and she was
crying her eyes out and it was really
powerful and it was a beautiful thing
and wherever I go now Armenians come out
and they say Conan but I have and I say
inch plastic love him you know and
that's all I know and but but it's
that's been the really nice thing is
that it's all about making connections
and you know is sort of addicted to
going to different places and trying to
see do they do they can I connect with
these people in Haiti in Seoul South
Korea in you know in Italy in we just
went to Ghana for a year of return and
had some really great moments and you
know I'm the whitest person in the world
but it just and we had a guy who I was
talking to and I'm trying to learn about
culture and Ghana and he's from Ghana
and he's this you know he's just this
really interesting funny guy but he's
looking at me and he went your skin I'm
wearing I was wearing a short sleeve
shirt and I went those are freckles and
he was like uh-huh and I said what's the
matter and he went I thought you were
sick
and then I had the experience of going
to a club with him and being the only
white person in the club and realizing
this is how my friends who are
african-american who you know live in in
work on my show if they go somewhere in
there
the only person of color there I know
how they died I seen it I see how it all
gets flipped around and I love that I
love trying to get outside myself and
connect to people and and see if we can
make them laugh you know that that's
just a lovely part of the job could we
go to the number in the blue in the back
hey Conan big fan
just wondering you've got a very
laid-back vibe man thank you I'm from
Canada what do you say I couldn't hear
him okay wait it's kind of freaky with
all your Canada no yeah yeah that too
it's cold but you just stood up with
this so like hey man I love it my
question is so with like all eyes on us
with social media and stuff it feels
like everyone's kind of always watching
us at this stage in our lives and for
those of us who have maybe like TV and
media ambitions should we be extra
careful with what we put out there or
should we just kind of like go with it
and accept that society will maybe
change it to use and you know like when
you grew up there there wasn't maybe
that there was no smartphone sorry
what you're trying to say if I can
interpret in my day to get a dick pic
out there was very hard
[Applause]
you needed a lot of equipment you needed
it was like nine people involved and
then you had to mail them and it was it
wasn't worth it there was no erotic zing
at the end you know there was a
difficult time you know I that's the
part where I think yes obviously
I mean look we're all I see it both ways
because we currently have a president in
the in the United States who seemingly
has done all kinds of things that would
have ended anybody else's career five
years ago and his attitude seems to be
we're not talking about that right now
and then people he has that weird sort
of obi-wan Kenobi these are not the
droids you're looking for
he does the most outrageous things you
know you're like wait a minute nine porn
stars and he's like these are not the
droids you're looking for
and we're all like these are not the
droids are and so you know I think it
would be a real shame if you didn't
everybody I'm gonna quote Hannah Montana
now everybody makes mistakes everybody
has those days that's all I know
I know that because I had a five year
old daughter when when she was all the
rage and she had a pen that every time
you clicked on it would sing that song
until the battery died and I ended up
just digging a well and dropping it into
the well but anyway I don't I would hate
for your generation to think I would
hate it if five and six and
seven-year-olds were thinking I might
want to be in broadcasting someday I
might want to be a comedian I'd better
keep my social image pristine for all
time I think that's an unrealistic
expectation personally so I think things
are going to adjust do I think that
people should try to be civil and show
common sense yes I think it's really
good idea if you're gonna be drinking a
lot to maybe put the phone in a box and
lock it you know
and so you come back around again just
because but I think there's going to be
a I think your generation and I say this
I think optimistically I think your
generation is going to we're in we've
been going through a moment where people
can go back and look back 15 years and
say oh my god or eight years or three
years and say look what you did at this
party and we have this picture and your
life is over and I I think it would be
terrible for everyone in this room I
mean I have children I have a 14 year
old and a 16 year old I don't want them
to go through life thinking that you're
this is the age where you're supposed to
be making some mistakes robbing some
banks committing some crimes but but at
the same time I think yeah you're
definitely you want to be responsible
with that phone in your camera you know
or that camera on your phone you know
you and so I'm probably the last person
bill to give you advice but I I hate the
sound of what I'm hearing from you is a
19 or 20 year old person who's saying
I'm bright I got a future
but how worried do I have to be about
everything I do on social media and I I
would like to think you don't have to be
that worried about it these silences in
between questions are great I got an
thanks for being here oh thanks very
much nice to be you talked about how you
like your comedy to be on universal
topics so it can be timeless but do you
think that besides that there's like
every generation has any particular type
of humor and if so what does it take to
make a millennial off oh well clearly I
wouldn't know but I would
but no I don't I don't I don't think you
know I think the best thing you could do
is go on like Adult Swim and that's just
an interesting example or just go on the
internet there's so many different types
of comedy there's there's always been
different brands and styles of comedy
and right now I see all of it happening
simultaneously I do not think there is a
type of humor that works for Millennials
and then if you go 20 years later
there's a different sensibility that
works for them I think there are certain
universal elements of comedy that
surprise people and are funny and we
tend to agree for the most part on what
those are and there's but I don't think
there's something that's specific to
your generation where I think oh this is
what a millennial thinks is funny
because look at all the different kinds
of comedy they're thriving right now
they're so completely different you know
and there's there you have even late
night shows in America the distance
between say what a Colbert is doing or
what a James Corden is doing is just
completely different it doesn't mean
that one's bad and one's good they're
just very different so I and then and if
I tried to say one of those senses of
humor is for Millennials and one isn't I
would be mistaken yeah
there's a guy right here on the rover
that I'm just gonna point out there's a
man right behind me who could physically
assault me if we don't get to him wait I
think I can take him stand up stand up
oh okay forget it no I won't fight
him because I don't want to I'd hurt him
I think yes thank you again for coming
to speak with us they're not going to
the other place I was just wondering
it's like Voldemort now the name was
this his name cannot be spoken I was
wondering you with your show in the
podcast as well are there any other sort
of great passion projects that you sort
of have always wanted to do on your
horizon
as you enter your Golden Age
it's funny you mention that because
there's a little meet-and-greet
beforehand
I guess people I don't know if they won
something or lost something but they had
to talk to me for about 10 minutes
before we came out here and one of them
said so about to retire a-and you do hit
a certain age or when you've been around
long enough where you guys can look up
clips of me from 93 and it probably
looks to you like this is footage from
World War two you know and I don't blame
you for thinking that what's funny is as
you go along I remember really clearly
being your age I remember it so well and
being at Harvard we had a room it's just
like this it's called Sanders theater
and I did comedy there one night perform
comedy there one night and I remember
I'm so connected to being that age and I
honestly don't feel that differently now
that's a very strange thing and I know
that to everyone here you'd think that's
impossible it must hurt every time your
heart beats
your stool must be a white gel that
part's true they don't know why highly
flammable anyway the point is this the
point is that that I don't feel any
different
I really do feel like I just like being
silly the way I did when I was 15 18 25
35 45 and now I'm 56 and I'm the same
way if there's certain people I see I
will get visit like you know people have
known for a long time
I'll wrestle them in a silly way I just
have that very very childlike attitude
about things and so I never really think
that much about well now I'm this age
and it's time for me to go into that
sweet light you know I think most people
don't think that way they just I mean I
like that I'm sort of oddly not
self-conscious about it and I have a
ability I think to in a childlike way
just be where I am now which is I love
doing the show I really love doing the
Travel specials those are a joy the
Koenen Without Borders shows and I love
doing the podcast and then when they
invent or I stumble upon some other way
to be silly or to sort of get my essence
out there that I will probably try and
do that so it's very interesting it's
it's why you probably look at people and
when I was your age I used to look at
people and think why don't they stop now
you know there must there's a place they
can go and they're cared for you know
and but then you get to the you get to
start to be that age and you you think
why would I do that
I feel pretty good and I like doing this
so I think I'll just keep taking a stab
at it you know until you know people
like you say we really don't want to
hear what you have to say here you know
and that would be rude to write me that
just don't invite me the point is is if
you went out of your way to write me and
say we don't want you to come that would
have been incredibly rude you did point
out I want to bring this up I said today
I thought oh we were what you gave me a
nice tour because you wanted to show me
what it was like out in the rain and
you're very lovely you were really nice
and and you gave me this great tour and
then at one point I was saying like so
kind of like trying to get to how did
you decide to invite me and you went we
invite lots of people thousands and
thousands and every now and then some
sucker says okay I'll pay my own airfare
that was that was really I that was a
really funny part was my manager who's
been with me forever he's always used to
he this is it's his job it's what he
does
so he didn't get the memo you know but
my my when I'm someone in my office told
me you've been invited to speak here and
I've know what this is and I thought
this is really cool and I want to do
that and that's during a week when I
could get to look to London so let's do
it and then I think Gavin pallone my
manager it was like he told me he said I
called them I talked to them to try and
hammer them on the money I don't know
who it was but I just pictured somebody
picking up the phone but there's no
money what are you talking about and
then he's like well then he wants seven
first-class airplane no he gets nothing
it's the honour of it all he called me
up honor of it all what is this crap
we'll get our money somehow I know it
someone's going to lose a scholarship
because of this
that'd be so great if we took away some
like someone who really deserved it
there's scholarship and then I'm just
driving around La in a Bugatti that says
Oxford
what an ass unfortunately we don't have
time for any more questions I'm sorry
but thank you so much for coming here
can I just say I know that you you want
me out but this really is this is
legitimately a joyous thing to get to do
to come to get an opportunity to come to
speak to so many young smart people and
it's just absolutely lovely there's been
a real treat for me so thank you for
having me
you