>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU FOLKS BUT I LOVE GOING TO THE MOVIES
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT MOVIES TO TRUST OUT THERE.
THERE ARE A LOT OF PLACES TO GET MOVIE REVIEWS, BUT I THINK THE
BEST REVIEWS ARE ON YOUTUBE.
THAT'S WHERE REAL PEOPLE GIVE REAL OPINIONS.
AND SINCE IT'S ONLINE, THE FINGERS THEY'RE RAISING USUALLY
AREN'T THUMBS, AND I'VE FOUND A FILM CRITIC I JUST LOVE.
HIS NAME IS GIL PEACHES, AND HE DOES REVIEWS EVERY WEEK FOR THE
LATEST MOVIES.
AND WE CALLED HIM, AND HE'S LETTING US RUN HIS STUFF ON THE
SHOW.
THIS IS "NOT AT THE MOVIES WITH GIL PEACHES."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HELLO, I'M GIL PEACHES.
WELCOME TO "NOT AT THE MOVIES WITH ME, GIL PEACHES."
LET'S GET TO IT.
HELLO, I'M GIL PEACHES.
FIRST MOVIE I SAW THIS WEEK: "THE JUNGLE BOOK."
I DID NOT GET THIS MOVIE AT ALL.
IT WAS LIKE BILL MURRAY WAS PRETENDING TO BE A BEAR FOR TWO
HOURS.
JUST BE YOURSELF, BILL.
AMERICA LOVES YOU!
AND THE END CREDITS WERE SO CONFUSING.
I COUNTED AT LEAST THREE ELIZABETHS WHO WORKED ON THIS
MOVIE.
HOW DID THEY TELL THEMSELVES APART?
WAS ONE OF THEM ELIZABETH L.?
WAS ONE ELIZABETH R.?
THERE'S YOUR MOVIE.
I GIVE "THE JUNGLE BOOK" TWO APPLES AND AN ACORN...
FOR LANGUAGE.
NEXT UP, "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR."
THIS ONE WAS A REAL MIXED BAG FOR ME.
ON THE ONE HAND, THE CHARACTERS KEPT WALKING INTO SCARY PLACES,
EVEN THOUGH I YELLED AT THEM NOT TO.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I LIKE HOW THEY MADE IT NIGHTTIME IN THE
MOVIE THEATER.
MUCH EASIER TO SEE THE SCREEN.
BRAVO.
NOW, I DIDN'T SEE WHO WON THE FIGHT, BECAUSE I HAD TO LEAVE
EARLY TO PICK UP MY CAT ANDROMEDA FROM THE VET.
SHE'S FINE.
THEY WERE JUST FATTY DEPOSITS.
I GIVE MY CAT 12 GARBAGE.
THE LAST MOVIE I SAW THIS WEEK WAS "NEIGHBORS 2: SORORITY
RISING."
FOR ONCE, THIS WAS A MOVIE I DID NOTE SEE ALONE.
I WENT WITH MY COUSIN, BILL PEACHES.
GET IN HERE, BILL PEACHES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELLO, BILL.
>> HELLO, I'M BILL PEACHES.
>> HOW IS YOUR MOTHER?
>> SHE'S GREAT.
>> HOW IS ARTHUR.
>> HE'S GOOD.
>> SO SAD.
>> HOW ARE THE CRACKERS?
>> THEY'RE DELICIOUS BUT DRY.
>> NEAT.
NOW WHAT DID YOU THINK OF "NEIGHBORS 2?"
>> IT WAS GREAT.
EVENTUALLY.
BEFORE THE MOVIE BEGAN, THERE WAS SOME SORT OF MIX-UP.
THEY PLAYED FIVE TWO-MINUTE MOVIES THAT THEY SAID WERE
COMING SOON, BUT THEY WERE ALREADY THERE ON THE SCREEN!
>> SO FRUSTRATING.
>> BUT ONCE "NEIGHBORS 2" GOT STARTED, I REALLY ENJOYED IT.
>> NOT I.
HALFWAY THROUGH, THE MOVIE IT TOOK A FRUSTRATING TURN BECAUSE
I GOT A TEXT, AND I COULDN'T CHECK IT, AND I THOUGHT ABOUT IT
THE WHOLE TIME.
>> WELL, YOU MISSED A GREAT MOVIE, BECAUSE SETH ROGEN
BROUGHT A RAW ANIMAL SEXUALITY.
UNLIKE ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> NO DOUBT.
PAR FOR THE ROGUE AN COURSE.
>> VERY MUCH SO.
SPEAKING OF ANIMALS, THEY BLEW IT IN THE CLOSING CREDITS WHEN
THEY REVEAL NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED.
WAY TO RUIN THE ILLUSION, GUYS!
>> YES, AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT OUT OF THE THERE, THE MEN'S ROOM
DIDN'T HAVE ANY URINALS, AND IT WAS FILLED WITH WOMEN WHO WERE
YELLING AT ME.
WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THAT?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE.
>> THAT IS TERRIBLE.
>> BOO.
I SAY BOO TO YOU.
>> IT'S A VERY MODERN PROBLEM.
>> I'M BILL PEACHES, AND I GIVE "NEIGHBORS 2" FOUR RAILROAD
SPIKES.
BUT ONE SPIKE IS GOLDEN, FOR LANGUAGE.
>> YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
WELL, THAT'S IT FOR "NOT AT THE MOVIES WITH ME, GIL PEACHES."
>> AND ME, BILL PEACHES!
UNTIL NEXT TIME, THE BILL IS IN YOUR COURT!
>> BILL, YOU MAY COME ON THE SHOW BECAUSE YOU DRIVE ME
PLACES, BUT YOU DON'T GET A TAGLINE!
>> I WANT A TAGLINE.
>> YOU DON'T GET ONE.