You look fantastic.
Did you just turn 70?
I--
Or you're turning 70?
Well, technically, yes.
But because of the fires, we had to postpone my party.
So as far as I'm concerned, I'm still 69.
OK, all right.
[LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
Good.
Yeah.
Can I just jump in one second?
I loved your testimony to your dad.
I just loved that.
Thank you.
It was so sweet, really.
Thank you.
He was a kind, funny guy.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
So speaking of the fires, because you
live in my old house--
I do.
How is my old house?
How is your new house?
It survived.
Good.
Yes, absolutely.
We are very lucky.
I mean, the town of Ojai, it's just a little miracle
because everything burned right down
to where the buildings started in the town.
Some people lost homes.
Yeah, it was very scary and very sad.
But we're fine.
And I've discovered that if you're a celebrity
and you talk about your home burning down,
people tweet, (IMITATING) Oh, too bad on you.
Buy two more.
You know, so I'm always hesitant--
Wow!
--to talk about--
But it was a big deal.
Everybody has to take all their furniture out, clean it,
scrub it, literally.
Because it's so toxic, the smoke that
came our way because of oil fires and lots of other things.
Anyway.
Well, I'm glad you're OK.
We're OK.
We have friends in our house who lost homes.
So the house is full of kind of refugees at the moment.
They're staying there?
Yeah.
Well, lucky them.
That's a great place to stay.
Your beautiful wife, Mary, did something recently for you.
Was this for the birthday?
What did she do to surprise you?
No, she-- [LAUGHS] She got me, boy!
I was going to go to New York to do some press,
the Inside the Actor's Studio.
And she said, oh, I wish I could come, but I can't.
And she has stuff to do.
So I kissed her goodbye in her nightgown.
I go to the airport.
And it's one of those busy "paparazzi please pose" day.
So by the time I got to the airplane,
I was exhausted from doing this.
And I was a little tired, a smidge grumpy.
I get on the plane.
And I'm in first class.
And I come down the aisle.
And there's this guy with the camera,
just, you know, taking a video of me
and grinning the whole time.
Oh!
So then I see-- yeah.
So I think, oh, great!
Some diva is sitting in my seat and she's
wearing dark glasses and a hat.
Oh, my-- you know?
What a bore!
And she's not getting up.
All right, can I just--
excuse me.
Oh, my God!
I'm going to put this on the seat.
And I'm going, the guy's still filming me.
Like, what?
Come on!
You know?
So I take my coat off.
But I have to stick my phone in my mouth
to be able to get my sleeves out.
And--
[ELLEN LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
How did you not know it was her?
[TED CHUCKLES]
[ELLEN GIGGLES]
My brain!
My brain is going, I know where she is.
She's at home making bread in her bathrobe.
I know that for a fact.
And I'm also slightly trained in life to--
if there's a beautiful woman, I only
kind of peripherally note, beautiful women,
eyes straight ahead, you know?
If the conversation starts, then I
will look at the beautiful woman.
Otherwise, it's all very peripheral.
And I'm grumpy!
Because who wears in first class a hat and dark glasses?
Give me a break!
A lot of people.
Well.
Sneaky and romantic, that's--
Yes, very sweet.
It really touched me, actually.
I bet!
It was really lovely.
That's really sweet.
I love her and I love y'all as a couple.
And she loves you and wanted to say hi.
Hi back to her.
Not on camera.
She wanted me to do it privately.
Yeah, she doesn't-- not enough to come here and tell me.
Just through you.
No.
I get it.
So you both play yourselves on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
And now you're playing yourselves, but separated
and dating other people.
Yeah, that sucks too!
Weird!
That was weird!
It really was.
When I heard the idea, it was like, oh, OK, Larry.
[FAKE LAUGHS] OK.
And then we would literally get, when it aired,
texts from friends that we had had dinner with three weeks
before going, (IMITATING) oh, no!
Oh!
Oh, I'm so sorry!
People literally believed it.
They didn't realize you're playing--
No.
I mean, you're playing yourselves, but characters.
Yeah.
And I think it's actually Larry just floating a balloon,
seeing whether he could hit on my wife.
It seems like it, yes.
How's it going?
Not well.
She turned him down.
No, no!
Let's talk about the Good Place.
Such a smart show.
Such a clever concept.
You've been nominated for Critics' Choice Award.
Congratulations!
Thank you.
That was last night.
Yeah, I won.
Yeah, good!
[APPLAUSE]
[TED LAUGHS]
Or-- or I didn't.
[ELLEN LAUGHS]
How did you do?
Because you were nominated too.
Yeah, we were nominated too.
So I either won or not.
That's pretty zen.
So I like to wait a day and find out.
[TED LAUGHS]
We'll let everybody know tomorrow
because we don't like to say it right away.
So all right, so let's talk about,
you picked up for another sea--
So we could basically be a couple of losers sitting here.
Losers or winners.
Or one could be a loser and one could be a winner.
We don't know.
Ooh!
Yeah.
So let's get caught up.
So the Good Place.
We all thought it was the good place.
And it turns out?
Yeah, that it was--
I'm, actually, instead of mid-level good place guy,
I'm mid-level bad place guy.
And I came up with this idea of how
to get human beings to torture each other.
Instead of the old fashioned throwing him
in the lava pits one at a time, I
get them to torture each other.
So at the end, you discover I'm in the bad pl-- yeah,
I'm the bad guy.
And then this year's, you see me scrambling to keep
trying to pull this off, this--
So people don't figure it out?
Yeah.
And Kristen Bell turns out to be way smarter than me, so--
It's a really clever show.
You know what I love about it?
It's about something.
It's about ethics.
It's about what it means to be good
and that there are consequences.
And I think that is the point of it,
that there are consequences.
And I think people need to remember that in life,
whether you're a religious person
or not, that there is karma.
There is such a thing as being kind and being good.
And somehow it all comes back atcha.
It does, it does.
Yeah, I agree with that.