- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers.
Welcome back and thanks so much for your support.
If you're new to this channel, and by the end of the video,
you enjoy our content, do consider subscribing
and joining the Psych2Go Fam.
Now, let's continue.
Did you know that 70% of adults in the US
have experienced some type of traumatic event,
at least once in their lives?
According to the APA, Trauma is an emotional response
to a terrible event, like an accident or natural disaster.
However, while many videos tend to focus
on the person who experienced the traumatic event,
today, we will be focusing on the people who support them.
It can be difficult and sometimes uncomfortable
to know what you should or shouldn't say
to someone with trauma
and whether it is actually helpful or not.
So to help you out, here are 15 things to say
to someone with trauma.
Number one, "I see you're in pain.
It's okay to feel this way."
Someone who has experienced trauma has witnessed something
that we probably would have never even imagined.
And some might beat themselves up
for having endured the trauma or get angry at themselves
for being so upset.
By acknowledging their pain, you're showing them
that it isn't all in their head.
It's a way to tell them that their feelings are valid.
Number two, "Your symptoms make sense,
given what you've been through."
In response to the indescribable pain they're in,
sometimes people with trauma can experience uncontrollable,
emotional breakdowns.
Because of this, they may tell themselves
that they're broken, weird, or hopeless.
So by saying that their symptoms make sense,
you can provide them a sense
of understanding and reassurance.
It tells them that their trauma was real
and is something that they're healing from.
Number three, "What has happened doesn't define you."
People who have survived trauma
sometimes get labeled as the victim,
even after what has happened.
This may even apply to the person
who's gone through the trauma, where they ended up
allowing what had happened to be part of who they are.
While what they've gone through may have been difficult
and perhaps life-changing, reminding them
that they are not defined by their trauma
can give them a sense of reassurance.
You can remind them that they're much more than their trauma
and that they are beautiful, strong, and courageous.
Number four, "The worst isn't happening again,
even though it may feel that way."
Possible side effect that can happen
when you've gone through something traumatic
is the experience of flashbacks.
This can make it feel as though the trauma
is occurring all over again.
They may experience intrusive thoughts,
images, and sensations from the event
that they can't block out,
making it hard for them to focus and function normally.
In cases like this, you can help them
by reminding them about their present surroundings.
Number five, "You didn't deserve that."
Sometimes, people with trauma develop a very negative
and harmful mindset where they might believe
they somehow deserved what had happened.
So by vocalizing, that that is not the case,
you can reassure them that it wasn't their fault
and pull them out of their toxic thoughts.
Number six, "How can I help?"
Everyone deals with their trauma differently.
Some may find your kind words
to be uncomfortable and unhelpful.
So when you ask them how you can help them,
you're showing them that you respect their boundaries
and space and are giving them the freedom
to decide what kind of help they would like to receive.
Number seven, "What happened to you was never your fault."
People experienced trauma will often blame themselves
for the fallout of what happened.
This is especially the case if there was someone injured
or hurt due to the incident.
Even if it wasn't in their control,
they may still ruminate over their guilt.
So by reassuring them that it wasn't their fault,
you can help pull them out of their negative
and harmful thoughts.
Number eight, "I'm sorry, I wasn't there for you.
I will do best to be there and to never judge."
A traumatic event that involves trusting the wrong people
can cause someone to develop trust issues afterwards.
They may start to doubt or worry
about being betrayed or hurt by their friends or family.
In cases like these, you can try to show
more understanding and patience with them
until they can start to open up to you again.
Number nine, "It's okay to be hurt and angry,
these feelings don't make you a bad person."
After a trauma, it's not unusual for the survivors
to begin to see themselves in some way
as being less than others.
Perhaps, they may see themselves as weak
for allowing it to happen.
As with many beliefs related to trauma,
survivors are sometimes more critical of themselves
than they need to be.
Telling them that they are strong and not weak
is a way in which you can reassure them
and help them feel better about themselves.
Number 10, "I don't understand the signs and symptoms,
but I believe you and I support you."
It's hard and almost impossible to know what someone
with trauma is going through, but it doesn't mean
you can't give your support for them while they're healing.
By vocalizing this point, you can help encourage them
in their progress to getting better.
Number 11, "You are inspiring.
Even if you don't see it,
the growth you've made is remarkable."
It takes a lot to recover from the trauma
and the survivor may not always see
the progress that they've made.
So try to find ways to acknowledge their efforts
and remind them that they are making progress every day.
And that even if they don't see it, you do.
Number 12, "You are not alone,
no matter how much it feels like it."
The feeling of isolation can become overwhelming
after a traumatic experience because no one else
has experienced the same exact event as them.
They may feel like no one can understand how they feel.
So, during moments where they feel this way,
you can try to provide them with some company,
listen to them, and reassure them that they are not alone.
Number 13, "You are loved and cherished."
Survivors of a traumatic event
sometimes come out of what they've experienced
feeling anxious, depressed, guilty, or even ashamed.
These feelings can feed into toxic thoughts
that harm their self-esteem and make them feel unloved.
So try to remind them that they are loved,
cherished, and appreciated
despite how they must be feeling about themselves.
Number 14, "I have been here before.
Just know that I'm here for you and you can get better."
If you share a similar experience with them,
it's still important to let them share with you
what they want to share.
Talking about their traumatic experiences
can be challenging and tough.
So it's key that you're able to show your care and support
for them when they do.
If you feel the need to talk as a fellow survivor,
you can consider inviting them to a group therapy
or group discussion, or to simply revisit
the conversation later on.
Number 15, "I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I will be keeping you on my thoughts and prayers."
If you don't have a close relationship with a survivor
or do not wish to play an active role
in their ongoing healing process,
you can say something that is comforting to them
and leave it at that.
It's important here that you say what you mean
because you may end up hurting them even more
if you make a promise you can't keep.
What do you say to comfort loved ones?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you on this video helpful,
be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video
with those who may benefit from it.
And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon
to get notified whenever Psych2Go post a new video.
The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks so much for watching
and we'll see you in the next video.