There are definitely some things that are bad.
Did you read that article that came out today that said you should only eat six fries?
What? Are they delusional?
Who can only eat six fries?
I don't know, that's what the article said.
Like over the course of my life or in one sitting?
I mean what if I eat six fries every hour?
I don't know.
Okay, but like what are the time parameters for six fries?
I mean six seconds? Months? Years?
I don't know, maybe read the article?
Okay, but you read the article and have now ruined my life
so I would like some elaborate answers beyond: "don't eat more than six fries."
[Sighs] This is why you have no friends.
I'm alone.
I mean one thing we've been sort of trained to believe is that negative emotions are bad.
Jealousy, insecurity, doubt, paranoia.
I mean the list goes on and on. The positivity movement especially has this
mentality that you should cast aside these emotions in favor of the happy ones.
Sort of like fake it to make it but feel it to...
make real it.
Which I don't think works long term because then you sort of become detached
and disconnected with your emotions by just constantly dismissing them.
All right everyone! After some recent discussions internally
we've decided to fire you all!
From now on it's all joy!
[All ARGUING]
You can't just fire us we live inside of you! [Arguing]
Pack your shit and leave,
Bye!
Then there's also the view that you need to sit with your emotions, right?
The idea of:
acceptance of negative feelings in order to let them pass through you.
But I've found that when I do this I just get stuck in the bad feeling
and just ruminate because I'm allowing that emotion to take over my life.
It's gonna be a terrible day.
It's gonna be a terrible meal.
HE'S GONNA DIE SOMEDAY AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE DEVASTATED!
And now I have found a brilliant technique that has helped me so much.
Now bear with me because I know it's gonna sound a little cheesy,
but if you're someone who deals with a lot of anxiety or insecurity or emotional pain of any kind
I urge you to have an open mind and try it.
So, when you feel a negative emotion, let's say
insecurity.
I want you to first think of what that emotion would look like,
a physical representation of it.
So for me,
my insecurity would look like a jagged crystal formation.
And once that image is really clear
I want you to mentally take that physicalized emotion from your body
and hold it in front of you and ask it:
Why are you here?
Because every feeling you have is actually trying to help you.
It's trying to let you know something.
I mean, that's why you feel it.
It's this physical cue that shouldn't be just
ignored or blindly accepted but understood.
OK. So what's up? What are you trying to tell me?
I don't want you to get hurt.
What? Why would I get hurt?
Well you were at this party and everyone here is really cool and you like them a lot,
But what if they don't like you as much as you like them?
What if they think you're lame?
I just want to make sure that you're safe and you're loved
and that no one hurts you.
Are you still with me? And isn't my crystal voice just like super adorable?
But seriously,
literally every emotion you feel is trying to do something for you.
Whether it's your anger trying to protect you,
your anxiety wanting to motivate you to do better,
or your feelings of unworthiness wanting to make sure that you get the love you deserve.
You need to think of negative emotions as misunderstood,
and then, once you really know why it's there, the next step
is to think of what you would rather feel.
So for me, when I understand that my insecurity is trying to keep me safe from getting hurt,
I would think, "Hmm, well I would rather feel vulnerable.
I'd rather feel like I can put myself out there
and take a risk and know that I'm enough just as I am."
And, once I have that feeling I make it a physical object as well.
Pull it out of my body mentally and I merge the two together.
So once you merge these two together, it becomes a new object and then, still in your head here,
you will put the new object back in your body and carry on.
Now, I can feel your judgment through the screen.
Like I feel it and I know some of you are like rolling your eyes and be like,
"Oh my god, Anna so New Age LA now," and I want you to ask yourself,
why do you feel judgmental?
How is it trying to serve you and what does it look like? And I know this may not be for everyone but
it's literally come in handy so much of my life that I did want to share it, because now I understand that
every negative emotion is trying to do something for me.
Instead of just pushing it away or succumbing to it,
I can now transform it into something that helps make my existence more bearable.
If anything, I hope that this helps you in some way because,
you know, life can be really hard sometimes and I'm-
I'm really tired of being the person who makes me feel the worst. So I'm working on it. I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham!
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