Hi, I'm Josh.
I'm Ollie.
And I'm Ollie's dad.
And today we have our resident cheese expert.
I don't know about that.
Cheese eater certainly.
Cheese eater.
He's just lowered the bar, I am capable of digesting dairy.
Because I have found a rotating cheese bar.
What rotates?
Let's go see, shall we?
This is seven dials food market.
There's a lot of food hot spots around here.
The first time I saw this I was like we need to bring you, Henry.
Well, it's like heaven isn't it?
Conveyor belt of cheese Ollie.
Oh my gosh!
When we walk into a place and there's just a whole cheese fridge you know that's a good sign.
Look at this guy.
Wow, look at this!
It's like a drum.
Holy moly!
I don't know if you've noticed we've got all different types of British cheeses.
And they've got little pairings to go with each cheese and they're all different.
I love this because it's like the cheeses are all on a date with their perfect pairing
of like a little fairground ride.
They're all just innocently enjoying themselves before they're devoured by a giant.
But they won't be separated still.
They will be together in death.
Exactly in our bellies yeah.
What catches your fancy first?
Too much choice.
Do you want to start with the most expensive or the cheapest?
Let's start with the cheapest.
So the cream plates I think are a bit cheaper.
This one is a Cornish gouda with a bit of clotted cream fudge.
Wow, is it gouda or is it gouda?
Gouda.
Gouda sorry sorry I wasn't very gouda pronouncing that.
Is that fudge?
Yeah, clotted cream. What do you think dad?
Does it work?
Oh, that works all right.
Really?
You sometimes get sweet cheeses and the combination is that.
That is good.
Now the texture of the fudge is quite similar to the texture of the cheese.
Almost identical.
So it kind of blends in your mouth.
That is really weird.
Why is that so good?
I can't believe we've started at this level because this is already extremely good.
Oh, another the cheese has come by I wanted to try.
We're staying on a cheese and dessert combination theme.
Okay.
Stilton-style cheese paired with a chocolate and hazelnut brownie.
This looks like a fresh brownie and a mouldy blondie.
Oh yeah, I see what you mean.
Yeah no, I wouldn't put these two together at all.
But you never know, I was surprised by the fudge.
I mean normally you would have brownies with cream so they've just left the cream.
Okay.
For a very long time.
Too long, way too long.
All right that's a really good stilton actually.
Really okay.
That looks much more mild than it tastes.
My initial reaction is why spoil it with a brownie?
It is so strong that.
About all, you can taste is the cheese.
It doesn't not work, it almost not not works.
Not not?
Usually, you have stilton with a very very plain cracker.
Whereas chocolate itself is quite a rich taste.
It’s like a loud bombastic friend who starts dating an equally loud bombastic friend.
At some point, they just become too much.
And you want to stop hanging out.
I'm not sure I want to hang out with that cheese anymore.
Good evening.
Josh is going to take a bite of every cheese mentioned in the following message.
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Now back to the video.
Yes, please.
Does it come on a separate conveyor belt like a hidden one underneath?
Cheers.
That is lovely.
That is wine.
I really want to put things on the conveyer belt as well.
That's not how this works.
Like what else in life do you think would be improved by a conveyor belt?
In the morning all of your clothes, an outfit.
You could do it in a pub don't have to wait for a pint.
Actually, that'd be dangerous.
There’d be a guy at the end of the bar.
Okay, do you want to go back to something a bit more funky?
Seen this guy coming along again should we do it?
Oh, go on then if we must yeah.
The doughnut.
Goat cheese doughnut.
I am quite a fan of goat's cheese.
Well, it's the greatest of all time.
The goat very good okay very good.
It's called a whipped rosary goat's cheese doughnut paired with an apricot and vanilla jam.
Cheers guys.
Wow!
I got a lot of cheese in that.
Okay.
It tastes like a custard doughnut that's gonna make me unwell.
It does it's close enough to a normal doughnut with added goat's cheese.
But you know what I think the goat's cheese and the jam work really well.
It's the doughnut I'm not sure of.
All right how are we feeling about this one here?
What is that?
So this is a smoked turkum's Lancashire cheese lightly smoked over oak.
Served and paired with smoked apple butter.
I didn't know you could milk apples.
Let alone churn up the milk and make it into a butter.
Where does it come out, there's no nipples.
Lets not.
He knows what a nipple is Luke.
It almost looks like a cornbread.
I don't know the texture just so you can see the texture.
Just try a little bit of that apple butter because I had a taste earlier.
It is so smoky.
It's like a whiskey.
Oh yeah, it really is.
Isn't that crazy?
It doesn't taste like butter at all.
Yeah, it's almost like it's not butter.
I can't believe it.
They don't have nipples they don't, or udders.
No disrespect to the conveyor belt.
I think maybe that cheese has been on the conveyor belt too long.
It's warmer than I would like.
Yeah.
It's a bit sweaty.
It's like it went to the gym a couple of hours ago and it's just really pumping.
Slow sweating as well which is the worst kind.
This one looks just very attractive so we got to try it.
Wow, you are going to love this dad this is entering novel antibiotic territory.
We all need a bit of antibiotic.
We do we do except for cows google it it is very very depressing.
It's a delicious ash-coated goat's cheese with a flinty rind and a mousse-like texture.
Don't know what any of that means.
Loving the adjectives here.
And it's paired with gooseberry and elderflower jam and on the bottom that's shortbread.
Oh, really I'm liking the look of it.
Here we go.
That is a cheesy jammy dodger.
Why why, why do you have to ruin it?
You go through different stages on this.
The first taste you get is the jam and then the cheese kicks in.
That's my favourite cheese.
And then it's it's in accompanied by the crumbling.
Crunchy crumbly lovely shortbread, that's my favourite so far.
I agree I think that's my favourite so far it's so good.
Even though it was mouldy the taste was very creamy and mild.
Very creamy.
You're okay with that.
You're not cheese prejudiced, lover of all cheeses.
Absolutely I love them all.
Even the stinking bishop, I kept it in the fridge I was eating it for about six months.
How did mom let you do that?
Oh yeah, I wasn't the most popular.
I think the inside plastic of the fridge is now impregnated with the smell.
Wow, when's it expecting?
Okay, so I went for this because I thought maybe you wanted something a little bit more traditional this time.
I wasn't sure what was on top but I've just checked it's stewed leaks.
Stewed leaks.
That's like prison food.
I don't think I've ever had stewed leaks.
I definitely had stewed leeks before.
Sometimes you have a leek soup and then you will put cheese on the top of it sort of.
Yes, we used to have those with grandma the legendary leek soup.
This is actually in Kendal family folklore.
I hated leak soup and all of my cousins hated it as well.
My sister just loved it for some reason so she just kept eating it.
So we distracted her and then poured our soup in.
And she must have eaten maybe two litres of leak soup.
So this is stewed leak.
And this cheese here is called the saint James.
Does it smell?
Yeah, it's got a little smell to it but not overly pungent.
Saintly.
Saintly very good.
A sweet and floral with an earthy brined rind and silky paste.
A lot of saints are like that.
That's good.
That's my favourite so far.
Are you serious, the combination as well?
The leek and the cheese set each other off beautifully.
Really good.
Oh, that cheese the texture is lovely though.
This one looks like a hot mess.
I mean it almost doesn't look like a cheese it looks like a pudding.
It looks pre-chewed.
By a sheep.
Okay, so this is our first ever fresh cheese on the belt.
Cumbria's finest sheep's ricotta from the team at st James.
Paired with amoretto cherries and sea salt.
Old st James again classic.
You think he'd be busy doing miracles and stuff?
I mean it almost looks like a cheesecake that you've dropped on the floor and just put on the plate.
That someones stood on.
That hasn't stopped us before.
Tastes like curdled milk.
Crumbly like tissue paper texture.
Yeah, it's just a mush.
It's what I imagine paper mache would taste like.
Oh, it's got the exact texture of vomit.
Okay okay.
Can we put it back on the converter belt?
No, we just ate half of it it looks like we ate it and then spat it back out.
We can't put it back on.
Maybe it did, maybe that's the problem with it.
Honestly, maybe someone did.
Let's wash it away with the next cheese, this is saint Ella.
A lot of saints.
Yeah seriously.
I wasn't expecting that to be an issue but yeah that is true.
A mould-ripened goat's cheese.
Mould ripened.
When fruit goes mouldy your not like ah mould-ripened.
It’s actually very ripe, it’s just too ripe.
Paired with some rose Turkish delight.
Personally, I hate rose flavour.
If I wanted to drink my shower gel I would.
It even looks like soap, maybe it is soap.
See the inside's very soft looking, and the outside sort of got like a hardened wrinkly texture.
Like dad.
It looks good to me.
He didn't hear!
Oh, smell that though that's pungent.
Yeah, it's got a bit of smelly feet.
And look it's got the shower gel on top.
Oh, this just smells like my gym bag.
Yeah, it does it actually does all right.
Let's do this all in one.
All in one.
The cheese is very strong though and I don't think I can handle the cheese by itself.
The Turkish delight offsets it a little bit.
I could cope with the cheese on its own.
Okay.
Okay, I know what we should try next.
Here we go this one here.
This is the freaking Hawaiian, isn't it?
No this is a coolia classic gouda style with a great brittle texture.
Paired with cumin-roasted pineapple.
I love a bit of pineapple!
You're not a fan?
No!
Let's do it.
Oh, the pineapples spicy.
I almost want to enjoy them both separately.
They're both quite nice.
Both really nice and the cumin roasted pineapple is good, but why put them together?
We have had a lot of plates of cheese already.
Okay, so this one, this is an award-winning cheese.
Award-winning triple cream rich, luxurious, and buttery.
Wow look it's very yellow.
The description is literally decadent af.
Oh, and it's paired with a scone and lemon curd.
What does af mean?
Okay.
I'll let you explain.
Autofocus it’s a camera feature.
Oh yeah, look at that very soft, very soft.
Oh, it's lovely.
Oh, that's so creamy I really like that.
I would give that an award, I would if you wanted to make me judge and I am available.
So dad when did you realize that you were an absolute cheese nut?
Cheese head.
I haven't realized that yet.
But you love cheese.
I do love cheese.
More than anyone I know.
When did you realise that that was your passion? Calling in life.
I don't know whether it is my calling or my passion.
I just like cheese.
I don't think of myself as a cheese nut but probably everybody else does.
Do you think the more like really smelly strong cheese you eat?
Even more smelly and strong cheese you start to crave.
Probably although I mean I think you get to a point with some cheeses, where it's almost
burning the inside of your mouth.
Is that the limit for you?
Too much.
Yeah it becomes too much.
Literal poisoning.
This looks like something you'd find in like a 1980s nuclear bunker.
There's something radioactive about it.
This is called the truffle baron.
We slice open a perfectly ripe brie-style Baron Bigod.
And sandwich a layer black truffle and British cream cheese.
Oh, that's fantastic!
That is lovely!
Cheesy, creamy, truffley.
All of the things.
That's a cheesy bonanza it's like an abba concert.
So good I could eat that all night.
Im not sure I could but it was still good.
Not all night but it was very good, it was very good.
All right is their time for one last cheese Josh.
Well, you know what we could do there's one I wanted to try number 23.
Which is famously shaped with a kitchen colander
You sit josh next to a conveyor belt of food.
It's paired with sweet garlic I don't even know what that means.
Or we can just do the cheesecake.
I think the cheesecake.
Well, we can always keep trying cheeses off camera, after we wrap the video I don't want
to overload the content.
Yeah, we could.
So I'm assuming that this cheesecake is going to be genuinely cheesy.
Because some cheesecakes aren't.
That's true.
Cheesecake at a cheese bar.
Ok, here we go.
It's nice.
Really nice, it's just a cheesecake though.
The last half hour of sitting here trying all of these like insane pairings.
I'm expecting like a very very strong stilton to just come out of the middle you know.
It's just cheesecake.
Just a cheesecake.
But it's lovely.
Really nice.
Have you ever tried this many cheeses in one sitting?
I certainly have not.
It's not an advert for this place.
But apparently every Wednesday you can pay 25 pounds and it's all you can eat.
Eat as much cheese as you want.
Why didn't we come on a Wednesday?
Oh, this is the one with the flapjack this is just for me. He's unstoppable.
We can end, we can wrap the video I just wanted to try this one.
Well on that note guys.
We’ll see you jolly soon.
See you jolly soon.
Bye.
Look at this one though.
This one looks like a strong cheese you're gonna love this.