Hey guys,
so if you watched
my video on the five reasons
why you're unsuccessful in meeting women
you would know that one of the things
is a lack of confidence.
So, I just wanted to share this little thing
from my confidence book
and give you a couple of
just the tip after thoughts.
Okay, I don't know who the quote is
from on this particular one
but it says
the building blocks for confidence
are self-esteem,
knowledge, courage,
diligence, compassion,
self-discipline,
non-verbal communication,
humility, and a sense of humor.
Let's unpack these.
Okay, self-esteem.
Self-esteem is
how much you essentially accept
your authentic self without
being worried about
what other people think of you.
That's not to say you're going to be completely selfish
because you're going to cover that in compassion.
But it's essentially
actually liking you
and respecting you
for who you are not what you do.
A way to help you
increase your self-esteem
is by the next one, knowledge.
When you become knowledgeable about something
especially if you can gain a lot of knowledge
maybe even become an expert
in some particular topic that you're interested in
whether it's a hobby, whether it's useful
or not useful it doesn't really matter.
When you can develop
enough knowledge about something
to be able to have a conversation
or to share that knowledge with somebody
that will help you raise your self-esteem.
Courage, confidence requires courage because
unless you're already confident.
It's going to take some courage and bravery
to develop the skill of confidence
and that means getting out of your comfort zone.
And when we get out of our comfort zone
that's a bit scary
because our comfort zone is comfortable.
But that means that if you can do that
overcome your fear
not necessarily relinquish it
or completely wipe it out.
But doing something in spite of the fear
will help you develop confidence
and this will require diligence.
Diligence means you're going to keep going
and doing the thing and get better at it
when the going is difficult.
I think it's a Brian Tracy quote
and he talks about willpower,
it's willpower.
Willpower is the ability
to do what you know you should do
when you should do it
whether you like it or not.
If you can do that and be diligent
about developing your skills
you will develop confidence.
Compassion, compassion isn't just about
having empathy for other people
but it's also about having empathy for ourselves.
In other words, as you
start to learn how to develop confidence
and you're doing these different things
to develop confidence,
you're going to stumble along the way.
You're going to screw up you're going to be embarrassed
or awkward,
it's not going to go the way you want it to
even if you visualize it.
If you visualize it, it might help
but there's still going to be some things
if you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone
that are not going to go as planned
you need to have compassion for yourself
when you go through those things.
Not just for failing
but for also feeling crappy
about the failure at that moment.
If you're compassionate with yourself
it will help you
take the next steps
to get going again.
Self-discipline,
we just kind of covered that
with the Brian Tracy quote.
The ability not just the ability
but the tenacity, the willingness,
the follow-through-ness
of doing what you know you should do
when you should do it whether you like it or not.
Non-verbal communication skills.
Okay, this is a tricky one
because it's difficult to know how to do it
until you actually go out and do it.
Now, I've done some videos
on confidence
through body language
I think I have if I have
I'll put a link and then you can have a look at those.
But yes, practicing
confident body language skills
will help you
when you're interacting.
Not just with women
but with anyone in the world
and that will help build your confidence.
Okay, humility.
Humility is
basically not being arrogant.
Arrogance is actually
a sign of low self-esteem.
It's like you have to brag to
to get validation from other people.
But when you don't need
other people's approval
you can be comfortable
in your own achievements
without having to have the limelight.
Not that there's anything wrong with that
on a healthy level
but if you don't need that
then you have
a sense of humility within yourself
and that's when you know
you truly have
authentic confidence.
And finally, a sense of humor.
You're going to stumble,
you're going to fall, you're going to fail, you're going to screw up,
you're going to feel awkward,
you got to be able to laugh
not at other people
you can laugh with other people
but if you can laugh
at yourself along the way
that will help you
feel more confident
because you're not taking life
too seriously.
So, I hope this little extra just the tip
helped you out today.
Thanks for being here, God bless.