If there's someone that you like and you're trying to figure out how to get them to send
you the first text message, don't worry. In this video, I'm going to break down how to
create this field where they feel drawn into texting you first. This is The Josh Speaks,
you're watching The Josh Speaks. For those of you that are new here my name is Josh and
every single week, I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your
best self so if you want to learn and grow, hit the subscribe button and make sure to
click on the notification bell. One thing I always recommend doing is if you like someone
you should be the one initiating conversation with them. I think you'll have a much higher
chance of getting them to interact with you and respond to you but there are times where
you want them to make the first move so what can you do to kind of get them in that state
of mind? Well, when it comes to messaging someone for the first time, what you're going
to need to generate there is some level of interest. They need a reason to want to learn
more about you, to want to talk to you, to want to just dive deeper into who you are
as a person and that's what you're going to focus on creating. So here's how you can do
that, let's say there's someone that you talk to pretty regularly. Maybe you chat with them
in the hallway, or you see them in class or you just kind of see them around somewhere.
What I think you need to start doing is having conversations with them where you're telling
them a story and giving them a cliffhanger ending. Cliffhanger ending? How exactly does
that relate here? Well think about when you're watching a tv show and suddenly at the end
of that episode a character dies or they discover something new and you're so inclined to figure
out what it is. You'll watch that next episode because you're going in wanting to figure
out that next mystery and that's the type of conversation you should be having with
your crush. Start telling a story about yourself and then leave out one key detail or tell
them that you'll tell then the rest of the story the next time you talk to them. By doing
this, you'll leave them wanting more. It's human nature to want to fill in the gaps of
things that we don't know so if there's something that someone said to you that you don't tell
them or you went to a place and you were surprised by what you found and they're left without
those key details... yeah, they're gonna wanna message you to figure that out. This is something
I've done successfully in the past. One time I went out with my friends and I started talking
to this random girl and telling her the psychology behind "The Cube". If you wanna know more
about that, check out the video over here but basically by the end of the night I had
to head out but I didn't tell her what the cube represented. So because she was so curious
I told her, tell you what give me your number, I'll give you mine, text me tomorrow and I'll
tell you what the cube means. The very next day this girl was super excited to reach out
to me because I left her on such a huge cliffhanger. Now you might be thinking, but Josh I don't
really have any interesting stories or things to talk about, nothing that's really going
to make them curious about me as a person and I think that's where you're wrong. Every
one of us has our own individual story and crazy things that have happened to us before.
So it all comes down to how you tell it and what you omit from that actual conversation
to leave them wanting more. So, think back on your life, think back on the crazy and
weird things that have happened and start to tell that story but then leave it at a
cliffhanger. Tieing into the cliffhanger piece, you may want to also set up a conversation
prompt for them. Now the way to do this is to start off by making some kind of plans
with them, giving them your number and telling them to reach out to you so you guys can finalize
the details. This can be as simple as "hey this new movie is coming out. I really wanna
go check it out, I know you want to go see it. Here's my number, let's figure out a day
to go" or "I'm trying to get a group of people together to just go hang out in the park.
Here's my number, text me when you're free and I'll invite you along with us". By doing
that, you're prompting them to start the conversation with you, now it's up to you to keep the conversation
going once they message you first. You may want to talk about what your plans were but
then segway into learning more about them and asking more questions. That's the only
way that conversation is going to survive because if you only leave it on plans to meet
with them, it's gonna fall flat and die. But let's say you never talked to them in person
but you still want them to text you first to start the conversation, how do you do that?
Well, I think a big part of it is gonna come down to you being super interactive with the
content that they post and share with the world. You can learn a lot about a person
simply by seeing what they post on Instagram or what their stories are like on Snapchat.
The key here is to be seen enough by them to give them a reason to remember you so that
they want to start talking to you first. Try leaving comments on their pictures that are
open-ended questions. This means asking things like "Oh, that's a really cool jacket. Where
did you buy it?" or "Oh that's a really awesome movie. Is it worth checking out?". By asking
these more open ended questions you might actually get a response from them. And if
you do it periodically enough times, there's a higher likelihood that maybe they'll DM
you to talk about the thing you asked a question about. Now you might be thinking, leaving
comments and asking questions? That's a pretty low-key strategy where you're just relying
on the hope that they're going to message you which is why I think it's important for
you to not play this passively. Look, if you really like this person, if you wanna build
something with them, if you want to talk to them, it's important for you to start that
conversation. And while the tips I share here are good stepping stones to help you work
towards being more comfortable talking to them, ultimately what it's going to come down
to is you believing in yourself. You having the confidence to actually carry the conversation
with them because if they message you first and you don't know what to say, where's that
conversation going to go? That's not being prepared enough for it. So by talking to them
first you know that you're taking the reigns, you're starting the conversation and you're
directing it to wherever you want to. What do you think though, when you like someone
and you want to talk to them, do you find yourself always having to be the person to
start the conversation? Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it. Now sometimes,
you get a conversation going and eventually, it just falls flat and you don't know what
to do. Well, I talk about that in the video over there on the side where I talk about
how to revive these types of conversations that just end up going nowhere where you're
left with one-word answers. Check out the video, I think it'll be super helpful for
you. Also, check out my 20 ice breaker conversation starters, I'll link it up over here, that
guide is gonna be helpful for you in starting conversations and figuring out what to talk
about. I put it together, it's a free guide, download it, it'll be super super helpful
for you. On that note guys, I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.