- How does trauma experience in childhood
affect us over our lifetimes?
What toll does abuse, assault,
and neglect have on our minds and our bodies?
And how do we get better?
Let's take a closer look.
(upbeat music)
I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist.
We are all familiar
with post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD
as a consequence of living in war zones.
It is expected that a quarter of the soldiers who serve
will develop serious post-traumatic problems.
We often associate PTSD with military service,
but the reality is, that the majority of Americans
will experience a violent crime
at some time during their lives.
And experience the same symptoms of panic,
fear, hypervigilance, extreme anxiety,
and difficulty functioning in daily life.
12 million women in the United States
have been victims of rape,
with more than half of those being girls younger than 15.
For many, the war begins at home.
Each year, millions of children in the United States
are reported as victims of child abuse and neglect.
1 million of these cases are serious, incredible enough
for child protective services to take action.
In other words,
for every soldier who serves in a war zone abroad,
there are 10 children who are endangered in their own homes.
Childhood trauma is an unspoken epidemic plaguing millions,
with resulting symptoms frequently misdiagnosed
as mental illnesses, such as depression, anxiety,
bipolar, obsessive compulsiveness, and ADHD.
Childhood abuse often qualifies
as complex post-traumatic stress disorder or CPTSD.
What's the difference?
PTSD usually occurs after a single traumatic event,
while CPTSD occurs after repeat, inescapable trauma.
It's important to recognize that chronic emotional abuse
and neglect can be just as devastating
as physical abuse and sexual molestation.
Not being seen, not being known,
and having nowhere to turn to feel safe
is devastating at any age,
but it is particularly destructive for young children.
Being able to feel safe with other people,
may be the single most important aspect of mental health.
Safe connections are fundamental
to having a meaningful life.
Social support is not the same
as merely being in the presence of others,
the critical issue is reciprocity,
that when we reach out, they will reach back.
There's no replacement for being truly heard and seen
by the people around us.
Feeling that we are held in someone else's mind and heart.
For us to calm down, self-sooth, heal, and grow,
we need an inner feeling of safety and acceptance.
When we are seen and heard by the important people
in our lives that can make us feel calm and safe.
Conversely, being ignored or dismissed
can precipitate rage reactions or mental collapsed.
Focused attunement with another person can shift us
out of disorganized and fearful states.
Childhood abuse affects every aspect of your life.
If you suffered in this way,
you may struggle to manage your emotional responses
or keep them within a typical range.
This can look like a wide range of emotions,
including sadness, anger, and irritability.
You may struggle to focus and concentrate.
You might experience challenges
in getting along with yourself and others.
Your moods and feelings may rapidly shift
from one extreme to another,
from temper tantrums and panic to detachment,
flatness, and dissociation.
When you get upset, which might happen often,
you may struggle to calm yourself down
or to describe what you were feeling.
Having a biological system
that keeps pumping out stress hormones
to deal with real or imagined threats,
leads to physical problems such as sleep disruption,
headaches, unexplained pain,
over sensitivity to touch or sound.
Being so agitated or shut down,
keeps you from being able to focus your attention
and concentration.
To relieve tension, you may turn to rocking
or self-harming activities like biting,
cutting, burning, and hitting,
pulling hair out, or picking out your skin until it bleeds.
Childhood trauma can lead to difficulties
with language processing and fine motor coordination.
You may be spending all your energy on staying in control.
It is usually a struggle to pay attention
to things like schoolwork
that are not directly relevant to survival.
Being hyper, aroused, or flooded with intense emotions
makes you easily distracted.
Being frequently ignored or abandoned
leaves you clinging and needy,
even with the people who have abused you.
This is further perpetuated by the fact that quite often
you have internalized the trauma.
Meaning you might feel that it is your fault
or you should have done more to stop it.
Suicidal ideation can even creep in.
Having been chronically mistreated,
you struggled to not define yourself
as defective and worthless.
The combination of feeling fundamentally despicable
and overreacting to slight frustrations,
may make it difficult to make friends.
If you've experienced sexual abuse,
you may suffer from a large range
of profoundly negative effects,
including challenges with thinking clearly, depression,
dissociative symptoms, troubled sexual development,
high rates of obesity, and self-mutilation.
Abuse victims often shut down and become numb.
If you are stuck in survival mode,
your energies are focused on fighting off unseen enemies,
which leaves no room for nurture, care and love.
For us humans, it means that as long as the mind
is defending itself against invisible assaults,
our closest bonds are threatened,
along with our ability to imagine, plan, play, learn,
and pay attention to other people's needs.
In order to play
and have intimate relationships with our partners
or nurture our children,
the brain needs to turn off its natural vigilance.
Often, traumatized individuals are too hypervigilant
to enjoy the ordinary pleasures that life has to offer,
while others are too numb to absorb new experiences,
or to be alert to signs of real danger.
Over time, the body adjusts to chronic trauma.
One of the consequences of numbing is that teachers, friends
and others are not likely to notice that you are upset.
Honestly, you may not even register yourself.
By numbing out,
you no longer react to distress the way you should.
For example, by taking protective action.
It seems better to feel nothing than to feel hurt,
anger, fear, and panic.
It is especially challenging
for traumatized people to discern
when they are actually safe and to be able to activate
their defenses when they are in danger.
This requires having experiences
that can restore the sense of physical safety.
So, how do you heal?
By developing resilience.
Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from adversity.
We learn how to take our hardships
and reframe them to be empowering instead of victimizing.
You may have suffered abuse and hardship,
but you are a survivor.
You understand the pain and fear
and are better equipped to support others
who are going through similar ordeals.
You are an advocate.
Your experiences can help others grow,
and you can learn and heal from theirs.
Giving yourself purpose,
taking your pain and putting it to use,
even if only to thrive yourself
as the ultimate act of taking back the power,
this is how you heal.
We must also learn how to manage our panic
and anxiety symptoms when triggered.
Self-soothing to regulate our heart rate and breathing
so that we can think clearly and experience calm.
We learn to assess our current situation for safety,
taking comfort when we are safe, and taking proactive steps
to improve our circumstances and abilities when we are not.
Of course, there is more than this,
that goes into healing from childhood trauma.
And what this looks like moving forward,
will be the topic of future videos,
as well as our full innate healing program.
Now, I want to hear from you down below in the comments,
how does childhood trauma affect you?
What do you do to cope?
Or if you have questions for us
about dealing with the effects of childhood trauma,
and moving forward in a healthy way,
let us know in the comments below,
and we'll gladly address them.
If you enjoy what we're doing here,
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here at Mended Light,
we're invested in helping you heal yourself
so that your light can shine to the world,
so that you can be the happiest, best version of you.
Things can get better.
I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist,
and I'll see you next time.
(upbeat music)