hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about ten reasons why
people are ignoring you now let's begin number one you wait to be acknowledged do you need someone to
acknowledge you before you speak up do you always wait for someone else to ask you a question if
you're not taking the initiative that could be the reason why people are ignoring you countless
people make this same mistake every single day alright let's say you have something you want to
add to the conversation you plan everything out in your head but you don't know when or how to
make yourself heard so you wait for someone else to give you an opening you need them to invite
you into the conversation but you know that rarely ever happens if you don't speak up no one's going
to do it for you it might feel like you're being ignored but in reality you're silencing yourself
so if you want to participate in the conversation there's only one way to do it you have to
acknowledge yourself you have to put yourself out there otherwise you're gonna stand around waiting
for something that'll never happen number two you think too much do you overthink everything I mean
do you plan out a million different things to say without actually saying anything if this
sounds like you I've got good news and bad news the good news is that overthinking is
natural and very common but here's the bad news it might be the real reason people keep ignoring
you if you're an over-thinker you might feel like you're participating more than you actually are in
your head you're actively engaged you're thinking about questions you could ask you're considering
different perspectives but you're not saying anything out loud so people don't realize that
you're trying so hard they think you're shy quiet or just not paying attention they're ignoring you
because they don't think you want to socialize you sit there in silence it's like putting up a wall
and that wall scares people away so what's the answer try to vocalize your thoughts it doesn't
have to be something amazing or profound just let people know that you're not actually quiet
or disconnected something as simple as saying I think that's a good idea can make you seem like a
more approachable person and the more approachable you are the more people will enjoy talking to you
number three you're too negative pessimism is another reason why people get ignored without
realizing it you might become a constant source of negativity and that might drive people away
the simple truth is that people want to spend time with others who are positive and fun people who
can make the best of any situation even if it's boring or awkward okay let's say your friends
are meeting for coffee they're all excited to see each other and they want to have a good time but
what if you can't stop whining about your life that's gonna ruin the mood for everybody else
right so the next time they go out for coffee your friends may not invite you because they just want
to enjoy each other's company not sit and listen to you complain in other words if you're the kind
of person who's always complaining it's time to stop because that negativity might be making you
the odd man out number four you assume the worst okay let's say you're getting lunch when you see
your friend standing across the room you wave at them but instead of waving back they ignore
you does that mean you're not friends anymore does that mean they hate you now these sound
like Cova reactions but many people assume that worse they get stuck in these destructive trains
of thought they convince themselves that their whole friendship is falling apart in the moment
it feels like a nightmare but if you take a step back you'll realize how insignificant it really
is chances are your friend just didn't see you they may have been thinking about something else
or maybe they were in the middle of a different conversation but you automatically assume the
worst and end up accidentally pushing your friend away sometimes people seem like they're ignoring
you when they're really just preoccupied with something else so the next time you're feeling
left out just make sure you're not just jumping to conclusions number five you try too hard
many people start to panic when they're feeling ignored they're so scared of being left out that
they overcompensate they try to be the funniest person in the room the best entertainer or the
person with the most interesting stories but the truth is no one's expecting you to be the best at
anything in fact when you try to stand out you end up pushing people away because you're not
being yourself you're pretending to be something you're not and other people will notice right away
ultimately people want to feel comfortable and that means being yourself even if you're worried
about being weird acting weird is almost always better than trying too hard number six invisible
body language sometimes people ignore you because of your body language these nonverbal cues often
called invisible body language discourage people from interacting with you because they tell people
that you're closed off that you don't want to be social or that you're not confident in yourself
some common signs include staring at the ground shaking your legs or folding your body inward
all of these pieces of body language communicate the same thing to the people around you they say
don't talk to me so that's exactly what people do people may be ignoring you because you're
subtly telling them to so if you want people to feel more comfortable approaching you use your
body language to let them know it's okay number seven you miss the mark no matter where you are
there are certain social cues that you have to pay attention to certain standards that you have
to follow if you want to blend in some are easy and obvious and others are a little bit harder
to pick up on but if you miss these social cues people might feel uncomfortable around you and
you might end up feeling ignored so what do these social cues look like all right let's say you're
feeling super energetic you're ready to socialize you're excited to talk to people normally those
are good traits right outgoing people attract other people but not if the rest of the room
is quiet and laid-back if you're the only one who's loud and upbeat it's gonna throw people
off and they might ignore you it works the same way for other social cues like talking too much
or talking about the wrong things you have to participate in the conversation without going
overboard and talk about things that other people like to talk about not just the subjects you like
if you can match these social standards you've got nothing to worry about but if you miss the
mark you might feel left out number eight you try to be cool many people try to attract attention by
playing it cool they sit back look as confident as they can and expect other people to come to them
but instead of attracting others playing it cool usually pushes people away that distant attitude
makes people feel uncomfortable and awkward around you in their mind you think you're too
cool to socialize or have fun and that makes you much less approachable so instead of trying to
act cool be nice friendly and welcoming make it easy for people to relate and feel secure around
you because ultimately that's the kind of attitude that draws people in number nine you ask too much
when you feel insecure about something you might get this itch to overcompensate you try to solve
every problem you try to put out every fire you go out of your way to make sure no one is ever
mad at you even if you have the best intentions this constant worrying frustrates the people in
your life not just because you're always doubting yourself but also because you're asking too much
okay imagine you're working on a project for your boss if you want to make sure everything
turns out perfectly so you email them about every little detail eventually they're going to get
frustrated or ignore you altogether why because you're asking way too much and it's driving them
crazy number 10 consistent rambling many people that feel ignored tell the same kinds of stories
they're long they're confusing and they put the entire room to sleep alright let's say someone
asks you a question like oh what'd you do this weekend a good answer would be something short
and sweet you might say I play basketball with some friends and then went to the movies that
kind of answer is perfect it's simple and it stimulates a more engaging conversation the
other person can easily ask what movie did you see or where'd you play basketball from there
you can go back and forth making the conversation fun for everyone but that's where many people mess
things up when someone asks about their weekend they ramble for 15 minutes about every single
thing they did they touch on every tiny detail and suddenly that back and forth conversation
turns into a one-sided lecture and that's not fun for anyone in general people have pretty
short attention spans you might think your story's interesting but you'll probably lose your audience
in the first twenty to thirty seconds so just keep your stories quick and detail-oriented if
you can do that people will enjoy talking to you and come back for more hey thank you for
watching Top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way